My H and I are 2 weeks past DDay #2/full exposure and lately things have been, well, calm. The first week was obviously horrendous, as I struggled to come to terms with the depths of his deception. I cried a lot and could not imagine being able to stay married to him under any circumstances. By week 2, we started a regime of multiple-hour long talks every evening and I felt that I was starting to get some clarity about the situation. I began to understand his mindframe a bit and I stopped blaming myself so much. By the end of last week I was feeling fairly confident about my situation. I felt strong, empowered even, and felt that I would not only survive, but thrive, no matter what happened. My H and I had agreed not to make any rash decisions, that we would carry on living together and talking about everything whenever either one of us felt it necessary. We felt that in the not too distant future that it would become clear whether or not we could try again.

So, for the past few days it's been relatively calm. We eat together, spend the evening together, share a bed. It feels eerily almost "normal", which is what is making me nervous. On Sunday during our last "serious" talk, my H specifically said that he didn't want to coast back into old habits vis a vis our relationship, that he didn't want us to lull ourselves into a false sense of security. Yet, I feel like that's exactly what's happening. On the one hand it's kind of nice to have a break from the constant rehashing, on the other I feel constantly on edge, like at any moment he might walk through the door saying he's fed up and he's leaving for good. Not that I couldn't handle that, but it's just all very unsettling.

I suppose I'm just going to have to accept that things are going to be like this for a while. At least I'm not constantly obsessing about it all and I can function with work, the house, exercise, etc. I just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop...

You've probably heard the term "roller-coaster." It's applied to recovery for a reason.

Eye of the storm? Probably not. Probably more like "shock." You've not even really begun to process the feelings deep-down. You're operating on a fairly cerebral level because that's easier.

I would strongly suggest that while things are calm, you get in touch with the Harleys to set-up a plan and start a regime of changing yourself so that you two don't fall back into the old pre-A habits. Whether this is the Eye of the Storm, or just Shock, the point is, you've got a window during which you and your spouse can try to take a few concrete steps to keep things from falling apart.

It's a long road. We're here for both of you to help as best we can.