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Joined: Jan 2006
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Post deleted by hurtingterribly
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
"He said that I gave him a choice that I would not reveal and protect him if he gave her up and tried to rebuild our marriage."
As long as there is contact, he is not going to work on the marriage. Don't protect him.
As far as worrying about what it does to the kids, forget it. He is all about himself right now.
The Harleys are very helpful. I'm glad you are going to talk to them tomorrow.
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 686
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 686 |
My WH wanted a trial period,too--to test the waters but not give her up in the meantime.
I don't advise it all. It's one of the decisions I do not regret at all during all the yuck of an affair.
Even now, he wants home, but won't give her up yet.
Since he is already living outside of the home--it gives you a better stance to take a stand against the affair and to let him know you NEED and DEMAND respect--and it is not respectful to have another woman at hand in case he wants to leave again in 2 months.
Have you read Dobson's "Love Must Be Tough?" I think it might be helpful for you to do so. It has helped me a lot.
Also, I think that would be harder on the kids.
I agree with Believer--he cannot work on the marraige until she is out of the picture completely.
intexas
p.s. I am in NO WAY an expert here--just commenting on something that sounded eerily similar to what my WH has said recently.
BW-me, 29
XH, 29
3 sons-now 6,4,2
Divorce final--Sept. 27, 2006.
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150 |
Since he is already living outside of the home--it gives you a better stance to take a stand against the affair and to let him know you NEED and DEMAND respect--and it is not respectful to have another woman at hand in case he wants to leave again in 2 months.
Have you read Dobson's "Love Must Be Tough?" I think it might be helpful for you to do so. It has helped me a lot.
I agree with Believer--he cannot work on the marraige until she is out of the picture completely. AMEN!!!!!! The alternative - having you and the ow - is called 'cake eating' around here. And you know the saying, "You can't have your cake and eat it, too." Harley is sure not gonna like that idea. I'd bet you $5 on it.
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 81
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 81 |
What's he going to do, go back and forth between you two and decide who pleases him more? Yuck! How is that working on your marriage? He's turning it into a contest, don't enter. The nerve of some of these WS just burns my grits. Tell him NC is the only good contact.
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