Hello friends.....

Just posting to tell of the final straw that broke my back.

WH has been around a lot lately. Told me he would get rid of his mailbox and storage unit in town where he and OW work.

Hasn't done any of it. Still lives an unaccountable life. I have no idea if he is or is not seeing or talking to OW. He makes no effort to make me feel secure in this. And I have seen no list that he claims to have written of things he would do to make me feel secure.

He got in a shouting match with DS a few weeks ago, and is mad at me for siding with DS - when the only thing I told WH and DS was "It's between the two of you.....I will not be drug into the middle of it." Now, that's his excuse for not doing anything he said he would do.

Yesterday morning, WH woke me with "Where is your cell phone?" I told, and he went and got it. I got up to let the dog outside, and WH asked how do you get into the phone records. I showed him, then said "What are you doing?"

Apparently, OW left WH a voicemail on his work cell. It seems that she is angry because someone has been calling her at all hours harrassing her.

"First of all, why is OW leaving you a voicemail? Secondly, you think that I am doing this?"

WH: "I know you have called her work number before."

Me: "Yeah, a long time ago. And that was to make sure she was at work, and not with you."

Anyway, long story short, I'm so done with all this. Yeah, Lemonman, he sucked me in again. But I'm so done with all this. I don't even want him around me.

Now, I'm gearing up to tell him. No explanations, just that we are now done. I told him this time, there are no other chances left in me. I truly meant that then, and I mean that now.

I need support for this. It ain't gonna be easy. But I AM DONE. Guess I've had enough now.

I'm ready. It's been a long year and a half.

Thanks for all your thoughts and support.

K

On a good note......I just found out I'm going to be a Grandma for the first time - around the end of August!!!!!

Hi K
I've been thinking about you. Sorry he has not followed through on his promises.



Do you want a D?Is that what you are going to ask? You never did do a plan B...what about trying that before D? You know we will support you whatever decision you make.

((((K))))Other then stupid WH you sound good. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Congrats Gramndmom!!

I support ya'! We always know in our gut, when enough is ENOUGH! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> This is a great place for support, during times like these! Hang in there! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Jennifer

And I wanted to thank all of you who have listened and posted to me thru all of this.

I have been too weak in the past to stand up for myself, and kept hoping that WH would turn back into the man he used to be.

It has been an exercise in futility on my part. I have a post that Pep wrote me a while back to remove myself from the chaos. To be true to myself and my word.

But I know, that a person is not ready to finally give up until they are READY.

I'm there.

K

ok. Have you been to a lawyer yet? Is he still out of the house? Do you have your finances in order?

Thanks for your replies.

Confused.....I did try Plan B several times. It was also futile. WH called and harrassed me until I would give in.

Yeah, I guess I'm going for D now.

PS.....I'm SOOOOOOOOOOO excited for the first grandchild. DS and his wife are happy too.

Confused, we keep cross-posting.

I have not been to a lawyer yet. My finances have been in order for a long time now. I've been financially on my own for quite sometime now.

I have several different plans of which way to go with things.

and....?

K-

I am sorry <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I have been so absorbed in my own crud that I stopped following your story. I am sorry for your pain.

I hope that everything works out for you.

God Bless,

-Caren

K,
I gotta go to bed but I'll check in tomorrow. Don't do disappear...ok?

Sometimes we just know when we are done. Do what is right for you. Take care of yourself emotionally and legally. Get all your ducks in a row and plan carefully so you are prepared for all that follows. Good luck and think about how wonderful that new grandchild is going to be.

Well, I'm one of the divorced ones, here. I can relate to the difficult parts of divorce, such as the saddness, grief, anxiety and fear. But yet, survivable.

I'm not meaning to advocate divorce, here, I just mean that is one area on this site, where I am able to offer support.

Take Care,

Jennifer

P.S...I think your title, "The Final Straw", was so good, I'm going to go to the divorce board, and start a thread, for everyone there to share what their final straw was! You've JUST inspired me!! (Hope you don't mind...I'm really not a thief, or a threadjacker, just think waaayyy too much!) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Jennifer

Hi K,
How are you doing today? So care to share your plans?

DON'T TELL HIM until you have some things in place. like $$$

call legal aide and get info about your rights

good luck

K, are you around?? Hope all is well. Let us know...

Jennifer

Hi Jennifer, Pep, and Confused....

Yeah, I'm around now. All is well.

Last night when WH came home, we hardly spoke. He went to bed, and I went to couch. He woke me around 3:30 a.m. and said "you can get in your bed. I'll sleep on the couch."

So I did.

This morning, he asked me if I was going to band practice tonight. I said "Nope". He said he wasn't going either. He was going to quit.

A couple of minutes later WH said "There's no point in us being in the same house if we're not going to talk." I said "Nope".

WH: "Is this is about what I said the other day (referring to the voicemail from OW)?" I said "Just the tip of the iceberg."

WH: "What does that mean?" I said "I'm done." He began gathering his few things.

As I was leaving for work, he started telling me how much he loved me, he swore he hasn't been seeing other woman, that he had been excited to work things out, but a couple of things kept him from doing it (one was the fight he had with DS). BLAH, blah, blah....

I simply said "I'm done". He was upset because he was "pouring his heart out" to me, and I wasn't listening.

I've heard it all before, so it was nothing new.

I've told him nothing of my plans or anything else.

I don't feel any pain or anger, just that a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. This is just a lot of crap I've let go on far too long.

Jennifer, I'll look into your thread to see what things were the final straw for different people.....should be interesting.

Thanks for your reply CarenMc......I see you're still dancing the "dance". Be very careful to do all the steps in the right order, so you don't end up like me. No feelings left for WH.

Of course, I'll always care about WH. After all, he's been part of my life for 33 years. But that's about all I can muster right now.

BTW......grandbaby ultra sound today......6 weeks along.....due date Sept. 18. WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

K

K, I'm glad you're ok. It definately sounds like you've reached that point of no return, that "numb" feeling we get, when we simply just cannot "feel", anymore.

For me, when I reached that point, it was a welcomed one, not to mention, a huge relief!

But I sure can hear the emotion in your post when you speak of your GRANDBABY!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Congradulations! There's a real reason to "feel" something!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Take Care...Jennifer

K, you sound strong.

I'm sorry it has to be this way for you.

Your WH is realizing what he's lost, and I fear that it's too late for him now.

Do you think it's too late for Plan B??

I ask you this only because the detachment you're feeling would probably be a great asset to you.

I understand if that's not the way you want to go, Lord knows you've dealt with enough.

I hope that you're okay hon, I have always liked you.

Good luck and God Bless,

-Caren

P.S. Congratulations on the upcoming Grandbaby!! That's so great!!! I can't wait to have Grandchildren (Well, my oldest one is 20, I can wait a little while longer...LOL)!!!

Hi K,
I really sounds like you've had enough. You certainly deserve more than he is willing to give. Whats your next step?