I was just wondering what everyone's "Final Straw" was, when they actually KNEW, it was OVER! I was just inspired by this on the other board.

MY final straw was, when I got "the BIRD" on MOTHER'S DAY!! I guess ya' just know that something might be "wrong" in the relationship when this happens!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Definately was NOT feeling the love! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Anyone else care to share? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

To be honest?

I knew the very day he left. Despite finding MB and going through the whole exposure/ Plan A thing, I knew he was gone for good right from the first.

He showed no guilt or sign that he was 'on the fence'. He was 100% sure that he'd done the right thing - for him, for me, for the kids. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

There's no fighting that mentality.

Alph.

I don't remeber anymore ... does it matter ? Nope. I know I am done and I did my best <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

-rh-

A toss up between her taking "feminine wash" to work or her going to a conference with "him" at a indoor waterpark... The kids and I were supposed to go. When I asked if we could still go she screamed and said "It is work!!! The kids would be bored to death!!!".

(Sorry WS, kids don't get bored at waterparks..) She went with him and the kids and I stayed home.

I filed 2 days later.... I deserve better.

PS. Do women take feminine wash to work???

It was Mother's Day and the OW called to come and talk to Exh and I - she stood on my front porch to take herself out of the picture - now according to what I'd been told she wasn't in the picture anymore. And my ExH said to her - nothing you or her - he nodded his head towards me - says will change the way I feel about you. I will stay with her(me) through the summer but not one day more. I just sat there in shock and she finally left and I turned to him and said how can you do this to our family - he said "what family". I said - it's time for you to go.

Stbx cried like a baby in front of attorney at mediation. (October 31, 2005) Wanted counseling, a chance to prove himself, loved me, yaddah, yaddah, yaddah. Attorneys were impressed with his expressed devotion. When I asked him about the counseling he so desperately wanted, his response was he wanted to see if we got along first. Got along? He arbitrarily decided this. At the first of December, my new church had a special Christmas program. He asked and asked and asked me to go. I finally relented and agreed. He never showed up. That poor camel's back broke that day.

When I found the pictures of him in a bed and OW in the same bed (2 separate pictures). "But they were just posed, it was at a party with a lot of people." Yah, right.

onlyh if they intend to have sex!!!

Iknew before this, but this was the final straw for me...

When I came home from visiting my dad and found out XH was calling OW from my house! I told him to get out...my dad died that night! THat was it!

I found out that WH was lying about talking to his mother and sister. He said he wasn't despite the fact I was actually encouraging him to call and check on them. If he couldn't be honest about that, what else was he hiding? When I confronted him, his sister called and gripped me out for looking at his calls on our phone bill. It became suddenly clear that he is a compulsive lier and his sister owns his balls.

As I was kicking him out of the house, my DD came in with two letters he wrote to OW (SIL's friend). She found them in his classroom before he had time to mail them. In the letters, he stated he was only pretending to work on M until football (HS coach) was over and mentioned recently being over OW's house.

Wow, isn't it interesting how we can all relate to the same thing, but in different circumstances? My X disappeared for 4 days. I had spoken to many people that had seen him around the bars with an older woman. Then, he suddenly resurfaced after it had gone thru the grapevine, that I called missing persons. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> He had been in trouble with the law, and did NOT want to have a run in with the police.

That was when I left, stayed separated, but didn't actually divorce, until 2 years later, ( I was on the fence), when I got the BIRD. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> It was that bird, that pushed me OFF the fence!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Tweet tweet... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

This has been a very interesting discussion.... I think for most of us, it was a culmination of things that "just did not add up". What is really sad, is that when the person you most trust in the world, lies to you, and you believe their lies. When you see one thing, and hear another, and then do not know what to believe.

The lying was the hardest for me to deal with. And what I will carry with me forever, is that she seen what the lies were doing to me... and she kept right on lying. A WS is very, very selfish.

I believed her (at the time) when she said she was taking "feminine wash" to work to "tidy up". When I asked, she made me out to be the bad guy.

Yeah, BHINWI, the good ol' reverse phsycology thing! (Making US feel guilty for even having the "nerve" to "think" such a thing!!) Yeah, that would have been a tough one to buy! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> It's kind of sad, that we actually BELIEVED some of the things we were told, I'm sure, because we wanted to believe it. We don't want to believe or accept that the love of our lives would ever do this to us! It was just WAAY too painful to comprehend!

Later, after I was out for quite a while, I could think back, and remember some of the "whoppers" he told me, and say to myself, "Yeah, that must of been one of those, too!" And even I couldn't believe I actually BOUGHT it at the time.

I guess we live and learn! And my marriage was most definately a learning experience. He taught me everything I NEVER wanted to know! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Here's mine. W had A with OM who was 65.... she is 32. She led me to believe, and I foolishly bought, that it was only an emotional friendship. We were trying to work things out but I always wondered. I decided to go ahead and get tested for STD's as I found out he had HSV from his GF (the first time I talked to her). I took the test on a Thurday and Monday, I got a bill from the lab. The bill said my insurance denied the claim. I called my insurance to ask about it and I (after being told by the ins. company) finally discovered that the bill wasn't for my tests. It was from my W getting tested for HSV (and only HSV). She got tested the very next day after I told her that her OM had HSV.

And here's the funnier part... Her excuse was that she thought I was cheating on her so got tested... again, for HSV only.

DD

Well, he had moved out to be with OW, and 2 days later wanted to come home. I said no to coming home, but yes to working on marriage as long as he didn't live with or see her, and as long as we went to counseling. He agreed.

We went to counseling for the next 2 1/2 months. During that time, both he and the minister at our church, who was our counselor, said I was being too hard on him, because I kept saying that I wasn't seeing ANY effort from him, that he barely seemed to even want to be around me. The counseling, and the marriage, ended at that 2 1/2 months because I got suspicious, decided I was no longer willing for him to keep a credit card he had that had my name on it, and when I called to close the account, happened to ask what and when the last charge on the card was. It was for a gas station right by where OW lived (and seeing OW was the only reason for him to be in that area), and was for only a week or so before then.

With just a small amount of research beyond that, I discovered he had been lying the whole time, and had NEVER quit living with her the entire time we'd been going to counseling. I had warned him before he agreed to the counseling that it was his last chance, that if I found out he was seeing her again, I was done. I called the lawyer and made an appointment that day.

My final straw-- when WH chose to spend every weekend at the motor races -- where the easy girls are, that was the end for me.

Moving out + continuous lying + secret life + secret apartment + brand new clothes and fancy shoes + debt collectors showing up at MY apartment every other week for WH's maxed out credit cards, bank loans + I cannot reach him except during office hours + motor races and short skirted young perky girls... ughhh!!

Yet, you know, he tells everyone I cannot accept his chosen lifestyle / passion / interest <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> THICK FOG IS IN HIS BRAINS ALL THE TIME, OW OR NO OW. This man choose NOT to grow up.

Hey! I take feminine wash to work because I bleed heavily each month and I wash in the afternoon to feel 'fresh' <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />