Had a little chat w/ h. He wants d overnight again. He just moved to new apt today-not even settled in-but he wants her to spend the night. <BR>I am to the point where unless the courts tell me I have to do this, there is no way. The thought of her being away from me for just one night makes me sick to my stomach.<BR>I asked him if he was still in love with someone-I know I shouldn't have-I dont care anymore- and he said NO, NO, NO . Lies, Lies, Lies. I cant stand it. Why cant he just come clean.<BR>He said that I am vicious and that he cant stand to be near me and I told him I didnt care what he thought of me. I told me I didnt want him back, no way. He said good, cuz he wasnt coming back.<BR>I told him that he needs to stop hurting me and d and he said that he is because he is moving on.<BR>This affair could go on indefineately. She lives 100's of miles from him. They only communicate by phone and occansionaly rendezous when she can get away from her h. I dont think that it will end until she lives her h and family, which I dont think will happens.<BR>I cant do this anymore. I want my court date and I want him out of my life. I cant do Plan A anymore-no more love there- and I always fail at plan b-not that I want him back anyway.<BR>I honestly dont know why you people hold on.<P>Cheryl

I choose to do this--EVERY SINGLE DAY. Sometimes I have to choose to do it several times a day because I think it just BITES!<P>No other real help. That's just how I have continued to be committed to my marriage & H.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Do not get tired of doing what is right, for after awhile you will reap a harvest of blessings if you do not get discouraged and give up. (Gal 6:9)<P><BR>

Calm down. You CAN work through this. You know you can. Everyone always tells me to take deep breaths (INCLUDING you, my friend), so go ahead - I'm breathing with you! I e-mailed you when I got home. Maybe you can use that suggestion. If not, then fight tooth and nail until you're ordered to do whatever they're gonna order you to do. But you know you have to appear reasonable, even if that's the last thing that you are feeling. You know you do. Now, another deep breath.<P>He's baiting you, Cheryl. That's why he wanted you to change your plans for tomorrow and then threw you the curve about Friday and Sat. "Calling your Bluff - again". Don't let him. Don't take the bait. You're strong enough, I know you are. You have got to appear reasonable and rational no matter how much s*** he throws at you. And he will keep throwing it. He knows he's hurt you badly. He knows how to make you angry. Don't let him. You are the better person here and you can show him that.<P>I'm right here praying for you. You can handle this. You know you can. Just be strong for a while longer.<P>Lori

Hi Lor-<BR>You amaze me. I honestly dont know how you do it? This ordeal is making me wonder if I am insane. I dont seem to be learning anything here. I've tried Plan A-dont feel like I can do that anymore. I've tried Plan B and failed miserably. Right now I dont think I do want him back. He continue to lie and decieve me and for what? He had file divorce and has moved out, he has bought new furniture. He says he is happy. Why shouldnt I believe him?<BR>I dont know. Thanks for being there. I know you have your own troubles. Thanks for lending an ear.<P>Lori-<BR>Wrote you back. Thanks for being there.

CC - Document. Document everything. Get a visitation order after your documentation - and if possible - if your lawyer sees enough negative maybe she can get court ordered supervised visitation. <P>But, NO LOVEBUSTERS - that means, no fighting or telling him what a Mr. Yuck he is, okay? Because he is probably documenting also. You don't want to appear like Mrs. Yuck in the court room. Think of EMMA!<P>And - don't talk to him, if you can help it.<P>I am also going to suggest you don't date until this is all said and done, one way or the other.<P>Take Care<BR>TNT