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Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Inactive: General Questions Wife's friend from 20 years ago

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Re: Wife's friend from 20 years ago Flukeboy #1575150 01/27/06 08:15 PM
Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 2,160 San Antonio, Texas L Longhorn Member
Longhorn Member L Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 2,160 San Antonio, Texas	Quote Anytime an outside friendship becomes more important than a husband (sic) or wife's feelings, then something inappropriate is going on. Every time, you can be sure. Quote Any time a relationship with someone else comes before our spouse, we ARE doing something (sic) inappropriate. These are so self-evidently true, they need no explanation and both apply directly to your situation PTR. Perhaps you take a look at the book Not “Just Friends” by Doctor Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D. It’s an eye-opener and maybe your wife would consent to reading it. Have no doubt, though, your wife is in an EA with her old boyfriend. In addition to the above quotes, she’s taking time to email and spending time reminiscing about the good old days in her mind--the time she’s using doing those is time she should be spending on her marriage and her husband. Maybe that’s just another way of restating the above. Even so, it’s true. What are you going to do about it PTR? How To Organize A Marital Recovery Plan Spying 101 Exposure 101"

Re: Wife's friend from 20 years ago Longhorn #1575151 01/27/06 09:01 PM
Joined: Feb 2004 Posts: 630 J JustinExplorer Member
JustinExplorer Member J Joined: Feb 2004 Posts: 630	Read all of the Harley's material. I also suggest reading the book "Not Just Friends" by Dr. Shirley Glass, another expert on affairs. This stinks to high heaven. Your wife's attitude that you need to adjust to it and she is doing nothing wrong, is complete hogwash. The "you can't tell me what to do" line, is rude and insulting to you. Based upon what you have written, you have every right to be concerned. I twiddled my thumbs, believing my ex wife's lies, and was in complete denial. Now she is off with the OM, our marriage is over, our family destroyed. Perhaps that would have happened anyway, but at least I would have the knowledge that I didn't just let it happen. Fight back now. Find a good marriage counselor. Snoop if you have to. My guess is she is telling and showing you only what she wants you to see. Just another guy exploring middle age.

Re: Wife's friend from 20 years ago JustinExplorer #1575152 01/27/06 09:32 PM
Joined: Jul 2005 Posts: 1,808 M moveforward Member
moveforward Member M Joined: Jul 2005 Posts: 1,808	Please, please, please listen to the wise posters above. My heart hurts to read a post like this. I never in a million years dreamed my husband would end up in an affair with his old girlfriend. He did. Read Surviving an Affair by Dr Harley. It will be a great tool. Is couseling an option? If she is telling you that you have the problem with your concern of the situation, I see a huge red flag. Keep posting and read the info on the site. take care

Re: Wife's friend from 20 years ago moveforward #1575153 01/27/06 10:01 PM
Joined: Nov 2004 Posts: 820 T tqt Member
tqt Member T Joined: Nov 2004 Posts: 820	Quote So the friendship IS above board. When reading that, my first thought (took about .3 seconds) was... some sort of denial thing.... and I would've reacted the same way. Exactly. Nip this in the bud, PT, no matter what it takes, because to me it sure looks like 1) a really, really dangerous situation, which left on its own will do a LOT of damage, at best. 2) it's your marriage to lose... IOW, if you act NOW, your odds increase 1000% And stay here.... you can't be in a better place.

Re: Wife's friend from 20 years ago tqt #1575154 01/30/06 07:37 PM
Joined: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,316 Michigan M MrsWondering Member
MrsWondering Member M Joined: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,316 Michigan	PTRacing... Are you still around? How are you? Mrs. Wondering FWW ~ 47 ~ Me FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering DD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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