I read your thread with much interest as I also have a WW. I think that Steve H. is going to tell me to expose in full on Monday when I speak with him (second session). Will likely tell me to tell OMW and their workplace (and I do think that the workplace will care since the PA happened in the hospital on company time).

My question to you is after exposure what do you think I will hear based on your experience and secondly how do you respond to the venom that will likely be sprayed by my WW. Looking back is there something that you learned that you may have done differently?

any help you can supply is appreciated greatly.

While I am not Hope this works I will tell you that based on most experiences you will be starting a big 'ole [censored] by exposing. She will tell you the nastiest things you hav eever heard in your life, how you embarrassed and humliated her, how you have ruined any chance of recovery now, she never loved you, etc. That is just the tip of the ice berg.

Most folks who must expose an affair will say that they should not have waivered or waited on exposing.

Melody Lane is considered an expert on this subject, hopefully she'll weigh in!!

Good luck to you with everything...th efirst step to recovery is busting up the affair. The start is by showing it light....

Hope, you can expect to see your WW eye's turn to evil. She will look at you in a way you have never seen before. She will hate you and if looks could kill you would be dead. She may also say some of the nastiess things you will hear and she will tell you that it's over...that you just ruined whatever chance you had a staying married.

DO NOT be intimidated by her threats! It is typical for an exposed WS to act this way. Don't get sucked into the craziness, just tell you can't accept her being involved with OM and you did this to save your M. Do not argue, do not even raise your voice. The louder she gets, the quiter you get. She can't contiune to act like a viper when she doesn't get a response.

Expect her to threaten to leave...they always do but almost never go through with it. Expect her to sleep in another room and to become very emotional and then withdrawn. Stick to your guns and do not get emotional with her.

Initially you will feel scared, then you will feel like you have regained some control of the situation.

When people say that she will spew venom it is because her dirtly little secret is now exposed to the light of day for everyone to see. The TRUTH hurts and she is an adultress. She will now have to face that but instead will use her anger to blame you for everything in your M.

In my case the worst was over in about a week and she returned to our bed after 5-6 days. Continue to Plan A, but give her some space since she will be hot for a few days. Remember, you are doing this to try and kill the A, not to punish her so no LB'ing please. She will LB BIG TIME just be prepared for it and understand that it is typical for them to react this way...they all do. It will hurt like crazy to see her react the way she will, but it need to be done.

Also, if you expose at her work, expect her to make you out to be some wacko husband. She will try to deflect all of this to you.

My only regret was not getting absolute proof before I exposed. If you have it, then don't worry to much about it, just let all the venom roll off your back.

Good luck and we are here for you.