Can you direct me to an internet site that would help answer some questions about a divorce in my state?

Here's the deal. My BIL/SIL are getting divorced and their court date is Feb 23. We are in Wyoming, and so it is no-fault except with adultery, abandonment, abuse.

SIL filed, and I think she is going to go for the abuse angle, as she filed a protection order when she fled the family home and filed for divorce.

This info I am trying to get a hold of is for my BIL side. His STBX is having an affair (don't think that it was going on at time of separation though) and has, in my opinion, abandoned BIL and child (18 yr old HS senior). What does one need to prove abandonment? And how will it hold up if she claims she had to leave due to abuse? (never any physical abuse, just her fear of it) BIL has attended anger management classes since the separation and did not break the order (now expired) and still hasn't made any contact with her.

Her lawyer wrote the stupidest letter I have ever read, being very disrespectful of BIL's religious beliefs, even saying "I am pretty close with Satan and he doesn't like any of this talk about what God would have you do." (This was the lawyer poking fun at my BIL).

Anyway, BIL is probably going to offer a 50/50 split before court, but from what we are seeing in SIL's papers, I think she is going to refuse the settlement and go for more.

So, where can I find more info about this sort of thing? Or, your opinions/experience would be more than welcome. I promise not to hold you responsible for anything!!

I just wonder what she could possibly be holding out for if she refuses the 50/50. How big a deal is the abuse/protection order for her side (no documented abuse ever) vs. his possible abandonment/adultery.

Thanks for your help. I really do appreciate it!

hmmmmm...

I'm not a Wyoming attorney. As a matter of fact, I'm not any attorney for a couple of months till I pass a bar exam. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers has a website with a directory that you or your BIL can search http://www.aaml.org/

As for the relative merits of a particulr cause of action of one spouse versus the other... I can't say. Each state weighs things a little differently. In my current state, the cruelty cause of action is called "Excessive violence or Cruelty" - That's right, historically, a *little* voilence was okay, but if it was excessive, then that would have to be addressed. Merely being unhappy in the marriage was not enough, too.

However, in other states, the trauma of deciding to get out might be enough or almost enough to get out on the grounds of mental cruelty. The point is, it all depends on the state.

WY probably has a "constructive desertion" provision that would basically negate the abandonment charge, and generally, adultery, while a real grounds for divorce, it will be considered less important than many other grounds.

Don't forget, this weighig stuff is all in inside the judge's head, so not only do you have to worry about what the state standards may be, but the judge himself/herself could have pre-conceived notions about which gender is generally more culpable in the breakdown of a marriage.

Now... your BIL may have shot himself in the foot... The anger management classes may be considered an admission of an anger management problem which she would otherwise have a difficult time proving without it because there have been no documented instances.

One thing I would suggest is for your brother to file a complaint about his W's attorney with the Wyoming State Bar Board of Professional Responsibility. (here's the form: http://198.107.45.67/pdf/forms/Ethical_Violations_Complaint_Form.pdf)

There is simply NO excuse for an attorney to be intentionally disrespectful and insulting of the opposing party's religious beliefs. That sort inflamatory behavior could very-well get a public censure for the attorney... That may not seem like much, but such a censure may keep him from being able to move out of the state and continue being an attorney. At the very least, it will cause some amount of headach and a loss of revenue while the attorney is addressing the Board's mandatory inquiry.

You asked what your SIL may be looking for beyond a 50/50 split... I really don't know. It depends on the caselaw in Wyoming. Perhaps an "abused" spouse is allowed to royally scr#w the abusing spouse there, so maybe she's hoping to walk away with everything... I don't know. Then again, it may be that her attorney is just trying to run up the bill since, as we all know, attorneys make less money when things settle quickly (because family law attorneys are ALWAYS paid by the hour, and NEVER on a contingency).

I hope that helped.

Tested nailed it...good job counselor to be.

Mr. Wondering

Thanks TD! I really appreciate your time.



With all of these variables in mind, how do I find out what "usually" happens in wyoming? Will that be at the aaml site? I can't find any info on how this specific judge operates, but even further, can't find how the cases are usually decided either.

I've never been through any of this before, so I'm just wondering what may come at him. She blindsided him in the first court deal and I don't want him to get had.

It seems there is an ulterior motive at work here. Her new best friends other best friend is the secretary for this [email]dumb@ss[/email] lawyer. I am pretty sure the secretary wrote the horrible letter, and others about harrasment from their mutual friends, and I can't imagine it would look good in court if it is brought up. (I hope it is!!) My SIL said to me that someday she was gonna leave, she didn't want anything, she just wanted out. About a month later she leaves after a heated argument, files the protection order and divorce and then in rolls all the papers about everything she wants. And the lies. Good grief, I can't believe it.

I have more free time on my hands than BIL so I am just looking around so if there is something he needs to ask his lawyer about he can. Just looking for ideas. I wish I could review wyoming cases too. Can't find anything online about any cases.

Thanks a million for your time!

Thanks for stopping in Mr. W!

This is a very frustrating process for all of us. And the worst is yet to come I'm sure, as it gets divided up.

Getting to the thought process of any one individual judge is impossible. You can research published opinions on line in many states but there would never be enough for you to nail down the judge. BIL's attorney should be your best resource in that jurisdiction if he/she's not helpful...find another.

Good luck,
Mr. Wondering

Mr W,

Yeah, nailing down the judge would be nice! Didn't figure that could happen. It would be quite interesting to see how her cases go though!

How/where do I research published opinions? That is what I can't seem to find by searching...but I probably don't know the proper buzz words.

Again, Thanks!

P.S. BIL seems o.k. with his attorney. I am just sitting here thinking and wondering. And, the internet is wonderful for learning and researching just about anything. So, sitting here and avoiding my work, I was looking around and got frustrated. I read another thread about abandonment/divorce and remembered that you are also an attorney. Thought I'd throw this out for ya and see if I could find some places to read that would occupy my mind.

I wish my time were worth a million... I would certainly bill it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Honestly, the information you need is the sort of thing that you get from working with the stuff over time... Hence, your BIL *needs* to find an experienced family-law LITIGATOR.

Why a litigator... Because SIL *wants* a fight. You know the old line about not taking a knife to a gun-fight? Chances are that if the attorney let his secretary write an inflamatory letter like that and then affixed his name to it, he's got the IQ of my right shoe. (That's right, he's not even as smart as my left shoe!) So... Your BIL should look around and find a good attorney. Unfortunately, attorneys are notoriously difficult to "rate"

One thing you or he could look at is the "Martindale Hubble" rating for the attorney if he/she has one. Many don't (www.martindale.com). Another thing, and this is what I would strongly suggest, is looking up a generally respected trial attorney (see www.wytla.org), pay him or her a reasonable fee (maybe $25 or $50) for a few minutes of his/her time and tell him/her that you do not intend to hire him for this particular task, but you want his professional opinion on who the best attorney for your BIL's case would be (because a trial attorney ALWAYS thinks HE/SHE is the best attorney for any trial). Ask him for 2 or 3 names of people he would hire if he were in the same situation. Also, get his honest opinion of the opposing counsel.

I learned the value of getting the right attorney for the job. Over the summer, when my W and I had gotten into a really bad spot, she tried to get me to commit suicide (at her mother's prompting) and I spent several days in a psych-ward for suicidal depression after the A got exposed and my W became... Well, let's just say it got really bad. She filed a Temporary Restraining Order against me and hired a putz of an attorney (someone her mother knew of). Me, being a law student, I went to some of my legal community contacts, said, "Who's the best family law attorney for my case?" I got an attorney, who then referred me to one of the area's TOP criminal defense attorneys (since this was what they called "quasi-criminal"). When trial came, my W "won" sorta (the judge disregarded the law to grant an unusually short protective order just because I had been suicidal and she wasn't sure I should be around the kids for a while), but her attorney's inadequacy was manifestly apparent to everyone involved.

The good news was that the next day, my W came by the house (I still had the house for several weeks) and struck up a conversation, and she realized that we didn't need the PO and so the next business day, she had it rescinded...

The point is, get a good attorney, because almost no matter what he/she costs, it's cheaper than getting a bad one!

Legal resouce:

I haven't used Lois Law (http://www.loislaw.com/), but I think it's free. It may have the info you need, but I would still strongly suggest a good attorney, because in all likelihood, without the proper training, you may not understand what you do find as well as you think.

May the force be with you!

TD,

I will look at that site to see if BIL's attorney is on it! I didn't think to look him up and see what he is good for <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />.

I know SIL's counsel is a putz! Certifiable. Unbelievably stupid. And that was my opinion before he became her lawyer. I went to him for a second opinion on a case of my own (business deal) and if I had taken his advice I would never ever have seen my money.

Shortly after his brilliant advice he was on the front page of our once-a-week paper because he got drunk, crashed his car and was then taken off the county payroll. Then he got divorced. Now he thinks he's all that and a bag of chips, driving a porsche with his hair all greased back...gag...so the letter signed by him was absolutely no surprise to me. Don't get me wrong...I don't dislike attorneys!! Just this one!

Anyway, thanks for the site...I'm goin there to check it out.

And, wow, did you ever have a tough situation with your wife. Are you divorcing or reconciling? Sounds like a pretty rough time. I hope all is well now.

Our situation... It's touchy, but I'm going to risk saying that we *are* starting into recovery. I even started a thread (Ever have a day that was High AND Low at the same time?) today that discusses why I think I can say we're actually moving into recovery.

Our story is VERY long and convoluted, so I won't go any further into it here, but my W does post here on occassion (Crystal43), and we've both laid out most or all of our dirty-laundry over time on these forums.

Good luck to you and your BIL.

All of the intelligence (ha ha!) I gather will only be used by me for my own info. If there is anything worth mentioning to BIL, for him to discuss with his lawyer, I will tell him. How he handles it is completely up to him.

And, I fully understand that what I read I probably won't understand. Them lawyers and judges talk funny! They use a lot of words to say just a little!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Writing or saying or in any way communicating words and ideas take time...

Lawyers/attorneys/barristers/solicitors usually get paid by the hour...

Therefore, lawyers/attorneys/barristers/solicitors have a natural reasonable, and largely unavoidable tendancy to communicate ad nauseum what could be stated sucinctly.

Somebody's gotta drive those Porsches! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I know someone has to drive the Porsches...but why him? He is just a brat. Using his dads good lawyer name, cheating his way through law school (not my words, someone elses) and then acting like he's all that...anyway, his letters prove to me his ability, or lack of, to present a good case for SIL.

So that is why I am so curious as to the law. Even if he is a putz, the law has to be followed. I am just trying to find out how the law goes, even if your lawyer turns out to be stupid and doesn't know what he's doing.

I wish the cases always followed the law... They don't.

Worse yet, if you don't have a good lawyer, not only will the ball probably get dropped, but often times something will get through that is improper and if it isn't caught and objected to at that time, you won't be able to appeal it...

A judge can bound the proceedings to a certain extent but a bad lawyer can still make things worse.

Question: Was your BIL represented at the time the putz attorney sent the letter you've referenced? Did the putz know that? If so, then sending the letter TO your BIL instead of his attorney was a significant etical violation.

*er* pardon... that's not quite right... We attorneys (pretending I'm an actual attorney) DO NOT have "ethics" per se. We have "Professional Responsibility," because, honestly, I guess we don't even like the word, and certainly don't want to keep unethical lawyers from making a buck, afterall! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I remember the summer after my first year in law school (evening program), I took "Professional Responsibility." It's a required course, but you *when* you take the course is up to you... I told Crystal that I wanted to take it right away so that it would have time to fade from memory and not mess up my learning how to be a real attorney. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I don't know who was the most surprised when I got the top grade in the class, me or anyone who knows me! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> I explained my top performance as my needing to know what the rules were so that I could skirt them without getting in trouble. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />