My husband has been carrying on a relationship with a college girl, since he transferred schools. We were seperated when he met her (me – FWS/EA x2) and he began "dating" while we were still trying to work things out. He's broken it off with her several times insisting that he's staying with his wife, but each time she cries and begs and he's "weak." Or she'll go away for a while, but eventually pursues him and he always goes back to her when we start having problems (first dealing with original issues, going to counseling with things getting better – i thought, and current problems mostly caused by me trying to deal with getting over all this and the division caused by his dishonesty and never really putting everything into making our marriage work since I came back). It has now progressed to a full PA. Although he has been denying everything for over a year, he has finally told me everything and I really hope that is going to make all the difference. I've already dealt with my feelings and forgave him, since I already thought this had been going on, but it can't continue or happen ever again.

My question... I know Dr. Harley suggests in Plan B writing a letter to your spouse, in-laws and sometimes the OWS (?). Since she doesn't have a spouse, the only people I can think of that have a vested interest in her well-being would be her family. I have the address for her aunt/uncle that she stayed with over the summer. She came from a Christian family and my husband insists she had been "waiting til she was married." (poor girl) I just wondered if getting her family involved would make any sort of difference in getting her to leave us alone or if it would just cause more damage? (my husband would obviously not be very happy if I did this, but I'm at my wits end!) He has agreed to write her a letter to break it off and hopefully we will be doing that this weekend... I want to believe he's really going to do the right thing this time, but also would like to give us the best chance to succeed...

i'm open to any other advice/questions not directly related to my question as well. thanks - S

Did you contact the OS when you found out? single choice
	yes
	no
Votes accepted starting: 01/27/06 12:36 PM
View Results