SORRY URL DELETED because I don't want WH to track it back to this post.

I am so upset I'm trembling and crying.
It gets to me even as I know we will be divorced in March.

I'm a complete wreckk please help

I don't know what you mean. Did he create the website or is it something he logs onto for a babe fix?

It kind of looks like calendar pictures...

He created the website with photographs of girls ... this his his new passion/ interest and was the last straw for me when I asked him to choose his marriage and his new interst and he chose this and awawawawaw

I am just so upset I shouldn't have search for his website and created more heartache for myeself

so he's lied and tells me he's brokea ll the time and

oooooo i just want to hurtl him back teh way he's hurt me all these ;yearsa nd continues to do so\\

I'd like to permanently disable him like ohow he has completely ripped off my life

My stomach acid's burning up now

Ruffled, is this proof that he is not as broke as he said? Is it anything that can help with your divorce settlement? Go and get a glass of wine and take a few deep breaths.

He is the actual photographer? Sorry if I sound naive!

I'm sorry you're hurting. I know this is painful to you, divorce or not. Hang in there, and breath! It'll be ok.

Jennifer

Yes that's him in the website with the girls aas well if you surf the other pages. He's the farting itchy hand photographer. I don't know how to use this against him in the divorce as we've already filed and gone to court and agreed on the settlement.

this is like a mini d-day except i am all by myself oh wait iwas all bymyeslef on the actual d-day

i just want to die

before that i am ggoing to sell whatever he hasn't taken from the house and build a fund and bu y myself a nice watch

i hate this llump of fat so much i want him to die aslow torturous deaath like with AIDs or skin falling off mysteriously and sores growing on him or having horrendous incurable bad breath. he was nothign and no one when we married.

he's taken my youth and given me gray hairs and wrinkles and hearthache and baggage. that's what you get when you love someone? i'm going a to be forty and he's now happily sowing his farting wild oats. oooooo

He's still nothing and no one. Just fancies himself as someone. I see you are not at the forgiveness stage yet! Is one of the photos his OW?

I don't know coz his life is completely kept a secret from me. I don't want ot know what if all the women there are his cow ows. I'm not going to hte site again, burn it if i can... hey can someone graffiti that site or something?

And you know he's been calling me now and then and being with me real nice except when one of his 'friends' calls then he'll drop everything nad dissappear. I couldn't stand for that type of behaviour anymore so i told him to stay out of my life... i told him that via TM on 10 Jan and i have been down with flu and cough since and feeeling sorry for myself having to go to work still and up coughing all night and wishing he was there to take care of me now i wish i am dead instead

sheesh i have to go eat something coz the stomach acid's really bad now. thank you for posting coz i need friends rightnow to prop me up... ugh i am a sight my hairs all mussedd an my eyes are all puffiy and my nose's red

Of course if you are sick in your body you will feel low and miserable. Have a good cry - sometimes it helps to get it out of your system. Please don't wish yourself dead. There are always better days ahead. Take care. TT

thankyou tummy i needed that. boy with toy looking to fool around.

he tells me he is not interested in getting into any relationships right now because our M was so bad

of course he wouldn't. Why be in a serious relationship when you can sleep around and be unavailable

he drives a bmw and i think that (and his lies) gets him the girls

i need to stop wheedling about him and move on
aaaaaaaaaargh htis is so painflul

RuffledNot,
just wanted to pop in and echo what Tuck said about not wishing yourself dead. You might feel like you are dying right now and rightfully so. This is as tough as it gets. I know. I have been where you are right now. It is a place I never want to be at again. So.....I and many others on this site know your pain and know exactly how it feels. But you have to have faith that you will overcome this. Last year I did what I now look back on as just surviving. And at time just barely surviving emotionally. But now I can see that my desire to thrive has overcome any remaining grief that I have. It gets better! And you will get better. This is a broken old world we live in.......but there is a way to make it better. I will tell you straight up....the way I survived was my faith in God. I actually believe that God has taken my situation and my life, and has found a way to make it a positive. I believe he has made me into a better man than I was before I lost my marriage. And while I still wish it had turned out otherwise, I am thankful for being made a better man. So...cry when you need to.Get angry when you feel a need to (but dont let your anger overwhelm you) Share your grief and your frustrations with the wonderful people that are on this board. And ultimately you will heal and you will have hope for the future. I promise!

In my prayers,
WCNT

I don't know why i am allowing him to continue to hurt me this way.

Obviously, he has moved on and I haven't.

I don't know why he continues to lie to me like he has no other life except work when he sees me. Why does he keep contacting me and pretend we could carry on as friends? Why tell me his life is not so good without the M-- I could tell that he wasn't so sincere. Why does he keep on telling me things that he thinks I want to hear? Then he told me we can't be together anymore because I cannot accept the things he do now-- meaning his new photography thing. Who would? After finding out about his multiple As, would anybody trust him with more girls? Is he crazy? It makes me doubt him and even myself and I start wondering if all men are like this. I don't want to end up being mental and fearful of relationships and men. I feel so screwed.

Why did he bother to spend so much time with me during Xmas and New Year... maybe because all his friends were with their families and he was bored alone?

I cannot fathom being friends with him. Thank God we have no children. No I haven't learnt forgiveness. I am still in pain. I want him to see my pain, but I know he won't.

I can't accept that he has just carried on with his life, being with so many new friends and those girls.... I talked about my fears for the girls he will come in contact with if he took on that new hobby, and I am right, aren't I? He has been photographing those girls. i wouldn't doubt that he has bedded them too. I went back to the site and wow, has he been busy! Look at all the dates there! And there were parts where you need a password to access, so I think those would be nudie photos.

I cannot accept that this person that I married, whom I loved and thought loved me and believed that he would be with me the rest of my life has come out of his shell and chose to do this. And obviously bragging about it like it has not destroyed part of his life, if the M was part of his life at all.

I guess he's in girl heaven now.

I regret ever supporting him in his work and helping him when he is down coz this is what I get in return.

I am just happy M is going to be all over in March.
I don't ever want to see him again. This person has caused too much pain in my life. I have cried buckets and gallons over the things he did.
He broke my heart then stomped on it some more.

And I thought he loved me and would take care of me for the rest of my life. uggh.

And look at me now. I am going to be forty this year.
I feel old and ugly.

I feel I have no hope if men cannot resist girls like those on his site.

Not all men are that way. What was he like before?

Fat does not = not beautiful.

Also, though he's not bad, he's certainly not a great photographer, either. I could have done much better.

*breaks arm patting self on back*

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

neak, he made a living taking photographs for a newspaper in his first job. so, he is just technically skilled. Please. Cars and girls aint art or photography. neak, don't you see the girls he is with?? wouldn't you freak out??

I am all worn out now from this morning's emotional upheaval.
I don't ever want to be this way again, he is just not worth it.

There are tons of teen haXorZ out there that would be glad to play with that site for you. Just go find some rowdy game forums like quake, halflife, etc etc FPS(first person shooter) games are usually the best audience for this type of teen you would be looking for, and link hubby's site similarly like this: w-w-wDOTmyturdhubbyswebsiteDOTcom and ask for help sweetly. Purr a little.

eldente,

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
thank you!!

I feel much better today.. and in fact, I feel silly at losing my head yesterday. I prayed about it, read some psalms and I am calmer now.

Well, they aren't - and I don't even think many men are like that.

I'm new to your thread (hi, <AD waves>) but I just felt like I needed to say that.

-AD (40-something Dad, divorced from unfaithful wife)