I exposed the A to WH this afternoon. That I knew that he was seeing OW again. And this is the response i got back this afternoon when i got home -

Where to start,

Ok from where I sit I see things this way,

The reason our marriage didn’t work was because I couldn’t give you what you need …

I thought we was ok as in now , not as in getting back together but as friends….

The whole incident that resulted in us separating was a by product of where I was at.

The deeper issue of me not being what you need goes deeper than that

I still enjoy your company, as in the other night at the movies, I enjoyed your company I thought you had enjoyed mine.



Now to the more touchy issue, yes I have seen OW, I wanted the friendship she and I had back in the beginning not the sexual one but the friendship.

I couldn’t exactly tell you that I had contacted her, well I suppose I could have but I don’t want you to think I have left you for her , that is definitely not the case.

I don’t want her as any more than a friend.



I think of you as more an intimate friend.



Anyway I don’t know if you will even read this all the way through.

And I haven’t put any hidden meanings into anything.



You know I really think my option / course of action I took the night I got taken up to the hospital was and still is the better alternative.



And maybe just as you said when you was just here, its over.



Warmest hugs

WS


I am just sitting here gob smacked and so angry,upset, every emotion that you can think of I can't sit still. I want to yell at somebody.

my god---he should run for office with that kind of babble talk!!!

write out a good old FU letter and then burn it when your done...dont send it. it helps. ive seen some doozy's...but that was good!

Orchid: No WS can give a BS what the BS needs.


Orchid: Huh? U mean people have to get marriage licenses' to be friends??


Orchid: Exactly where was it?


Orchid: It certainly does.


Orchid: You did. Did I enjoy your company!?!?!? Hm.... let me get back to you on that one.


Orchid: Does that friendship come with a license..... to cheat or betray?


Orchid: Exactly how was my finding out the hard way suppose t/b better?!?!?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />


Orchid: Oh, so how many 'other friends' do you have like this? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />


Orchid: Intimate friend? Is that when you need a license? Your friendships are getting very confusing.


Orchid: It is not easy to read. Do you find it easy to type?


Orchid: ....yet it is not easy to understand.....so what is hidden here, an agenda, a plan, a fleeting thought, more babble?!?!?


Orchid: Better than?!?!?! Please esplain, Lucy.


Orchid: Maybe.....



Orchid: Please go back and read this again, dear WS..... would you want a warm hug from someone who wants t/b friends with an OP?


There u have it..... my reverse babble responses. LOL!!!

One response that seems to work most of the time when a WS or Xws babbles is: 'Is that your best answer?' or 'Is that the best you can do?'

take care,
L.

Yes i think he deserves an acadamy award for that one. I am still shaking my head. I feel a little better now I have just run up the road and spoken to my pastor who also Knows my WS and has been through the whole sitch with me.

As to a response to that email, even if i wanted to respond, I have no idea what in the world i would write in reply to that.

i have now had a couple of wines,have calmed down somewhat and think i might try and go to bed. Tomorrow is another day as they say.

cheers

Exactly orchid, I am dumfounded. Is he mad. I think he is I don't know this man at all. What does he think I am just going to be his "friend" and allow him to continue on with his other "Friend" pahleeese. He has no idea. She doesnt want to be Just friends. Maybe I should ring her and say nah nah nahnah I am his "intimate Friend" you are just his Friend LMAO. O god i need to laugh or I gonna be sick.

Pray for a clear mind, a calm heart and lots of patience.

Learn how to reverse babble to him so you don't get stuck with his guilt.

Remember even though you can't teach or fix a Ws, you don't have to take his crap.

take care,
L.

I have become a much stonger person now. I know this is just manipulation on his part. Because he knows me so well I am the type of person that wants to fix things. I realised I couldnt fix this on my own. And this latest bout of manipulation has just rolled off my back. yes I did for a fleeting moment hesitate but stood my ground. I know after talking to my pastor that i cannot control his actions if he wants to take that path there is nothing on this earth that can stop it. Not even me. He has tried this tactic before. He needs serious help but he wont go and get it. He is on AD's I am not going to pander to him anymore. He wants attention and he is not getting it from me.

As you can tell I havnt gone ot bed yet it is 10.20pm here (aussie) cant sit still lol. Have had another glass of wine and i should stop now and go to bed before i do something i will regret.

anyhow thanks everyone for your reponses. Thank you Orchid for your reverse babble always makes me laugh. I think IMO he is past even that. anywy now i am babbling. going to bed.

cheers

In case you ever doubted the influence of the Mothership, this ought to make the case.

Yes next it will be "Nanu Nanu" "beam me up scotty" r u coming with us!

Talk about curiosity killing the cat. I had a peak at WH email account. Really just to see if there were any messages from OW. But I found out that WH has joined one of those meeting clubs solely for intimate encounters of every variety. I actually signed up at this site just so i could access his profile, again for curiosity just to see what he was after. He has listed as wanting to meet not only women but couples (man and woman) for various activities.

God i feel sick. I am just so shattered. Who is this person. Has he always been this way. I want to file for D, I want to get rid of his surname, I can't even do that until 12 months after separation. He is dead to me now.

I needed to get this off my chest it is killing me knowing that he has this side to him.

Well, you could have some fun with this. I read of a story where a wife found that her H had signed up at just such a site. She made up a character of her own, initiated contact with him...

Can you just imagine the look on his face when the time came for them to finally 'meet'...

Oh, yes... the fun you could have... mind you it's not really the kind of fun that's geared towards reconciliation... maybe it's a better 'idea' than 'plan' after all.

dewt

all....

I am sorry you found this out.....I can imagine the pain, been there, found some stuff out last week as well.

I don't really know your story...how long you have been at this....etc....from your regist. date, looks like a while. It never ends does it? The pain just continues......I set today and thougth the same thougths as you. I would file today to get him out of my life for good. I did not take his name so it is not for that reason, but just to have him out of it officially. I have to wait 12 months as well (3 more to go). But hang in there...if you are not sure, don't react today, just sit on it. See how you feel tomorrow or next week....

Best,
Daisy

thanks dewt and daisy. Dewt yes I actually did consider contacting him via the site lol. But that was when i first saw his profile which had only wanting to meet woman it was the next time i looked at his profile that he had added the couples thing and that just sent me into a spin. I have cancelled my profile off the site becuase i actually got a response from someone lol And get this he is married with 3 children. Doesnt want to leave his wife etc etc. God the things i coulda said to him. What is the world coming to.

i mean i knew these sites existed but hey.

Daisy,

My posts are all over the place lol. DDay was 26/6/2005 and he said he wanted to commit to this marriage etc. We had seperated, but he never gave me anything to work with. So at xmas i gave him an ultimatum and he decided he didnt want to work on the marriage etc. you will read in the posts above what transpired since then.

And the reason that I actually snooped in his emails again.

I actually got my wedding album out and ripped out all the photos with him in them and have thrown them in the bin. Maybe will go get them out, but then maybe i wont.

I am sure of wanting the D now this is too much to deal with it was bad enough dealing with the fact that he recontacted OW but this is a whole new ball game. My god he could catch anything from these people. I wouldnt touch him again with a 10 foot barge pole.

I just didnt want to file as it will cost me money and I know for a fact that he will never do it unless he wants to remarry in the future of course, but as you say i need to sit for a while and reassess myself.