Hey broken,

The only hope I had was because my W didn't want tot turn her back on God. She wanted nothing to do with me.

Little commando raids of affection. Things that happen so fast she can't stop them, but significant enough that she can't ignore them either.

Just keep on working on the things that MM suggested. Will you be able to spend time with her on Valentines Day? If not have you set it up to have someone follow and photograph who she is with?

I know you are feeling like their is not hope, unfortunately it's all part of the rollercoaster ride. Do you mind if I ask you, what is it that you have in your life you can always trust when things aren't going well?

Hang in there. I know it's hard. How'z your health? Are you eating and sleeping ok?

Bless you.

S&C

My WW loves God also but she has drifted from him as I have also. But I am trying to get my spiritual life back in order as well as fight for my marriage. I call her and text her out of the blue to tell her I love her, Even though I know that she does not feel it for me.
I asked her if she wanted to just go out to eat Valentines day, nothing big or fancy, just to eat and talk a bit. Her answer was that she doesnt want to send me mixed signals and she would rather be alone or with girlfriends then spend it with me. She said she will think about it and if she changes her mind she will call me. She has told me many times that she just needs sometime to her self. Both I and her friends have told her that she cant think alone if she is not alone. I just wish that I could shake some sense in to her, but I know that it wont work. As far as having someone to follow her if she doesnt spend it with me, I will be following her with my big camera, I also have a friend who will hopefully help me also. If I cant get anything I will probably be hiring a PI soon.

I dont have anything that is solid. I have doubts about so many people and their thoughts. Everyone that comes to mind I either feel funny about talking to them or I feel that they are not genuinely interested and concerned about the situation. My mother is the only one who I have been able to confide in through this but she is pretty far and can only talk to her over the phone.
Interestingly I eat fine. It takes me a while to fall asleep, cause I spend hours thinkin about WW and what she is doing. or just the past events running through my mind.
Once I fall asleep I dream only of her. My health is good, my pastor wants me to be seen and get on a depression med while I am going through this. dont know what to think about that though.

broken,



This could be one of the reasons that your M has gotten to this point. Sorry to be blunt. I didn't mean for it to sound the way it might have. A's are really a symptom of a larger problem. You will need to figure out what caused it to drift like it has. Even if the worst happens and you get a D, you want to be able to learn for this experience for the next Mrs. Broken... Be it your current WW or someone else.


How are you doing this?


Just don't do it to the extent that you appear needy.



Let her know you are under no illusion as to what her signals are. Just tell her you want to have a nice dinner with a very beautyful woman, no strings attached (and remember, don't attach any strings, don't expect anything to come of it). Even with no strings attached, you are moving forward in the process.



Try asking her again. Let her know you need to know so you can plan your day.




Sorta wish Orchid was here, she's the expert of reverse babble. But that's not a bad response. Look at Orchid's link here reverse babble


The unfortunate truth.


Just don't get too close that she will recognize the car you are in, if you get too close.


Do you mean evidence? If she is spending time with someone they can't hide it forever.


I know how you feel. MB is a good place to be though.


Good.


Yep, remember doing that too. Are you getting enough sleep to function ok? I needed to take something to help me sleep (Ambien).


What do you mean "be seen" ?

Are you able to function ok during work or at home? Are things that need to be done just sliding because you are always thinking about WW? If you can function, then meds may not be something you need.

Good luck and Bless you.

S&C

It would not surprise me if both us drifting from God has been a big contibution to what has happened. I am trying to find a good church that I can root myself into and be comfortable but not feel as I am being looked down upon for the situation I am in. I try not to be needy,I just try to express my feelings when I talk to her so that she knows that they are not going away anytime soon.
About having something "solid" I meant I don't have anything like a hobby or true friend that i feel comfortable talking too about this. And I don't have any solid evidence. Just waiting for them to slip up or her to say something that she shouldn't. I function pretty good. When i am at work the people there don't know whats going on so they don't feel sorry for me and we have a good time laughing and BSing around. Its the only time I smile anymore. My pastor wanted me to be seen by a doctor to see if I needed to be on depression meds. But I don't think I need them. Just every once in a while I have moments of severe depression. Once I fall asleep I wake up not remembering about it. I will use the valentines thing on her also. thanks for the advice.