broken,
My WW loves God also but she has drifted from him as I have also.
This could be one of the reasons that your M has gotten to this point. Sorry to be blunt. I didn't mean for it to sound the way it might have. A's are really a symptom of a larger problem. You will need to figure out what caused it to drift like it has. Even if the worst happens and you get a D, you want to be able to learn for this experience for the next Mrs. Broken... Be it your current WW or someone else.
But I am trying to get my spiritual life back in order as well as fight for my marriage.
How are you doing this?
I call her and text her out of the blue to tell her I love her, Even though I know that she does not feel it for me.
Just don't do it to the extent that you appear needy.
I asked her if she wanted to just go out to eat Valentines day, nothing big or fancy, just to eat and talk a bit. Her answer was that she doesnt want to send me mixed signals and she would rather be alone or with girlfriends then spend it with me.
Let her know you are under no illusion as to what her signals are. Just tell her you want to have a nice dinner with a very beautyful woman, no strings attached (and remember, don't attach any strings, don't expect anything to come of it). Even with no strings attached, you are moving forward in the process.
She said she will think about it and if she changes her mind she will call me.
Try asking her again. Let her know you need to know so you can plan your day.
She has told me many times that she just needs sometime to her self. Both I and her friends have told her that she cant think alone if she is not alone.
Sorta wish Orchid was here, she's the expert of reverse babble. But that's not a bad response. Look at Orchid's link here
reverse babble I just wish that I could shake some sense in to her, but I know that it wont work
The unfortunate truth.
As far as having someone to follow her if she doesnt spend it with me, I will be following her with my big camera, I also have a friend who will hopefully help me also. If I cant get anything I will probably be hiring a PI soon.
Just don't get too close that she will recognize the car you are in, if you get too close.
I dont have anything that is solid.
Do you mean evidence? If she is spending time with someone they can't hide it forever.
I have doubts about so many people and their thoughts. Everyone that comes to mind I either feel funny about talking to them or I feel that they are not genuinely interested and concerned about the situation. My mother is the only one who I have been able to confide in through this but she is pretty far and can only talk to her over the phone.
I know how you feel. MB is a good place to be though.
Interestingly I eat fine.
Good.
It takes me a while to fall asleep, cause I spend hours thinkin about WW and what she is doing. or just the past events running through my mind.
Once I fall asleep I dream only of her.
Yep, remember doing that too. Are you getting enough sleep to function ok? I needed to take something to help me sleep (Ambien).
My health is good, my pastor wants me to be seen and get on a depression med while I am going through this. dont know what to think about that though.
What do you mean "be seen" ?
Are you able to function ok during work or at home? Are things that need to be done just sliding because you are always thinking about WW? If you can function, then meds may not be something you need.
Good luck and Bless you.
S&C