Awww...

Wax on! Wax off!

I loved that movie. Remember how much Ralph hated to do what the sensei wanted him to? Lots of fear, resentment and bonding, huh?

You want to change for you...best possible goal I can imagine. And share what REBT is with me. I would love that!

I just got to your post when my DH came home...and whisked me off for a nap...I'm back.

He went out to get a movie.

Thank for sharing and being who you are...I think exercises are wonderful. Going to IC...listening and repeating...you know all this.

And you know what is like to feel attacked (by me) when I'm not...and that your FWH feels that way...real or not.

Tell me, is OW really finally gone?

And for your RC ideas...oh, yes...so important, I found...for me and for him...

Relinquishing judgment...which I held closer to my heart than any human...was hard. Well worth the work...very rewarding...

Doing this for you. That may have been the reluctance all along...having done nothing truly for you only...such a goal...

I'm with you.

LA

LA, Hi ya.

Well my date had to be postponed last night. Seems that H was not into it and decided not to go. Also, my sitter had a call in for a foster child with special needs. She is a foster mom.

I was a little put out by H not wanting to go. I'm trying not to mindread but I was feeling like he is upset with me and is not letting go of the fuss out the other day. None the less, I'm keeping the faith, in me, in our M, in him and definitely in God. I decided to stop trying to figure it out or question him about it.

So, I'm working on another way to create a date like thingy and surprise him with it. I want him to know I am on cease fire and want to do much better....I take it seriously...and my control button is off.

I've made some inner agreements about things that I will not do anymore as a means of showing a committed, different me. One of them, is not being on the net so much. I don't know why, but my H hates me being on the PC. He doesn't like it. So I've agreed with myself that I will not get on it while he is home.

So, grasshopper will have to restrict times to am to read sensei's wonderful words of wisdom...darn,darn,darn
Well I was trying to get in a quick note before he comes in. I'll be back on in the am. Have a great Sunday, LA.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />LLG

PS. Here is a page about REBT= Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy. And there are links to other writings about other types of cognitive therapy. web page rational.org, New Zealand

Good morning, LLG (I'm going into the future...you caught me)

Being a little put out...list those emotions...and LLG? If you are like I was, there was no trying not to mindread...I did it automatically...know that you are mind reading and why...

I didn't mind stabbing myself with assumptions...felt better than my fear of the unknown...not knowing was more terrifying that biting myself.

Neither one are necessary now.

I believe you're really creative...that your RC time will be wonderful...and if he doesn't go, go yourself. This is you doing self-care and caring for your half of the marriage.

Not being on the net so much is a way for you to show you where your choice to love is...not about what your H feels...it does honor him, his wishes...but if you make it only for him, then he doesn't come through on what you value, then there's resentment.

That's how it was for me.

When I switched my intent...no resentment.

Lol to grasshopper...you're mixing shows! John Carradine (or was it Keith) would slap ya. Oh! And guess what? I happened to remember sensei's name...Mr. Myogi...and please remember, he was battling his own demons and lessons as well.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Question to clarify, not to dig...leave what is his over there, with him, until he discloses...and when he does, clarify, use the hopper, and tell yourself you believe in respecting, not assuming.

Do you still here my reminders, my words as saying "You're doing it wrong. You're wrong. You're not doing well enough?"

I'm clarifying.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

LA

Hi ya, LA. I've been so busy. Wanted to drop you a line of hello, but it has been crazy with school starting back and all. How are you, my friend and sensei?

Does your MB screen look weird? Normally when I come on here the colors change. Now it looks like vanilla ice creamy biege, bland.

lol, I guess I did get grasshopper from Kung Fu with john Carradine and sensie from Karate Kid mixed up. I think I just assumed they were terms probably used in asian culture and kind of threw them in there together. lol.

Oh yes, OW is suppose to be gone for good. My H said she is. I haven't talked to her H to confirm. I figure that I don't want to call and she happens to answer the line.


No, I don't. Not at all. That is great. I guess I hadn't even thgouth about it.


I thought this was great. For years I've kind of wondered around in ambiguity about what I really wanted out of life. I made decisions without true understandig of why. Things just seemed good to do. It is so good now to make decisions with purpose, with understanding. It just feels great to make a decision to do something and it be an act of love or a decisions to act in love.

I see, that your thread on owning your villagers is really helping people understand their emotions and emotional issues. I want to join in but am not quite of the instructions. Would you mind sharing them?

I missed your post and only checked my email today. I'm behind in all ways, it seems.

Yes, they've been messing with the view on the board...it's different each day, it seems.

It's not us...it's them.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I like how you put that..."I made decisions without true understandig of why. Things just seemed good to do. It is so good now to make decisions with purpose, with understanding."

Like tilting our head three inches to the left...not a huge change, big difference.

About Owning all your villagers...the instructions are on page one...what you do first.

How are you doing today?

LA

How have you been, LA? What are you up to? As for me I've been a busy bee. I've missed our posting sessions. I have been bogged down with a few things in my life right now. I am returning to college and I'm homeschooling. So both mommy and kids are being educated, lol. ANd I'm getting my little ones into little sports and so on.

Well things are much better between hubby and me. I think I understand him much better. But it is a daily process. I constantly work on keeping my thoughts in perspective and working on triggers and things like that. There is more feeling between us. and I feel I can trust him more. We haven't made any concessions about trust areas. He is however with me all the time (outside of work, of course) and he keeps me up on what is happening with him (accountability).

If I have a concern about something I just ask him about it. I found that my making the long list of things that I felt he had to do wasn't working. So now I'm taking it one day at a time, one step at a time.

Remember once, a good while ago you asked me, "Why can't you just be in your M?". I felt you were trying to ask me how come I couldn't just relax the constant need to put so many demands on H and me and the M and be a part of it rather than try to fix it (supervise it, lol). Now I actually feel that I'm being a part of the M. I've relaxed so much urgency to try to make things happen and just found other routes of handling certain things.

Well we went on a date, finally. It was really nice. I really enjoyed it and I believe he did too. Seems we're taking it one day at a time together.

I feel I enjoy the time we spend together more. The times we laugh together and have conversation and so on. And I think he does too. There are still some snags that I'm working on and I feel he is too. Gotta go. Hope to hear from you.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />LLG

Wow...that's a whole lotta education going on.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Great to see you here, LLG. Anytime.

Can you get credit hours for all you've put into MB and your marriage?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

More date nights...hang nights...I'm happy for you knowing you're present in your M, right now. Sounds like you're really living right now.

How have I been? Ack. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I'm working on it...in the same way. Working it through. FOO sucks, marital stuff sucks...and then it doesn't. My perception/perspective. Does that answer your question?

LOL

LA

Thinking of you, LLG...

LA

Hiya La. I've been thinking of you, too. So glad to hear from you and especially that you posted on my B-day. I wanted to come by and drop a line of hello to you.

Yay!

Our mental signals are connecting...to bring up MB, I clicked on my bookmark of this thread tonight...

Whaddaya think about dem apples?

:::grinning from ear to ear, feeling great joy::::

And you're needed...Rinderella is afraid of going to Al-Anon...and it's tomorrow night...think you could share what you experience(d) with her? She knows it's her own fear of unknown...and she's a gutsy woman...yet she fears...

You're needed and missed, LLG.

LA

LA, I really wish I could share but even right now I'm finishing a paper that I have to present in a class tomorrow. I will try to get back out here early in the morning. I know how it is to fear. You know, how I am in this area and am ever evolving. I'll check out here thread before I leave in the am.

No rush...afterall, you ARE older now...I know you're slowing down, can't do as much...

Heehee.

Happy belated bday, toots.

Anytime is the right time. Good luck on your presentation tomorrow.

LA

Bumping...because I was thinking about you...wondered how you were doing with your spending...and how long is that presentation exactly, anyway?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

LA