Hey Grove,

Did I every ask you if the OM has a wife/kids??? I don't recall.

God Bless,

-Caren

OM is divorced and living with his girlfriend. He has a son that he sees every other weekend.

Brief Update for everyone:

I spoke to SH on Tuesday. He said that he believes it is too late for a plan b. My wife saw her attorney yesterday and has put down 2 grand for a retainer. She is moving forward with the divorce, or appears to be moving forward. Steve recommended I have a heart to heart with her to see if there was any hope or chance that she might understand that we could still keep this together. Not much to add. Wife and I are being civil to each other and occassionally loving, but it's spirally downward.

GTO

Mulan, I almost forgot, Steve didn't really have any advise as to what to do if my wife wouldn't leave. I could leave, but he said that he just doesn't think it would matter now and that I have to be sensitive to the legal issues concerning custody. I asked him about an in-house plan b and I think he just said that he didn't think plan b would be effective in my situation.

So I come home the other day. My daughter is asleep on the couch (not feeling well and on meds). My wife walks up to me and puts her arms around me and begins to cry. Ok, she walks away crying and I walk up to her and she says that she feels all alone and scared. I told her I felt the same way and that we'll get through this one way or another. I told her again that I didn't want a divorce, but that I can't stay in the marriage the way it is and/or was. She said she agreed. I asked if she thought there was a way WE could save the marriage. She said that she didn't know, that she didn't think I could change. AHHH she's blaming it all on me, the affair, her being unhappy, her continueing to lie and break promises.

Ok, for once I kept my cool. I talked about how close we were once and how we didn't need to keep secrets from each other.

She left crying saying that she still didn't trust me and felt that I was stalking her and smothering her.

We talked again prior to going to bed. It didn't go well. She had time to regain her composure and tell me how I needed to make all of the changes. I told her that it took both of us to get to this point and that it would take both of us to fix it, I couldn't do it alone.

So we came to an agreement of sorts. For now, we're just going to work on being friends again and doing respectful things. She said that she won't lie to me or keep any secrets and I told her that I will trust her to be completely honest with me. We'll keep proceeding towards the divorce and we'll see what happens.

Nothing she has said or done gives me any reason or pause to change my plan, but I am willing to see what she is going to do.