My husband and I were married 4 months ago and already I am burnt out of trying to communicate with him.... He seems to create arguments and bombard me with insults when I don't understand where them come from..When I ask he he just freaks out and says things like..."you should be able to figure that out on your own".I can't figure out if he is just high maintence or something is really wrong with either him or me... I have always felt I am a huge support system for my husband...His career...his education... and his happiness (temporary mood) always came first! (mistake # 1) He barely has to lift a finger when it comes to managing our lives...i pay the bills...i manage our realestate...I care for our pets and I care for our house.... yet I am very much a home body... I work m-f and like to go to the gym after work (i get out at 4 pm)...make dinner...watch some tv and settle in for the night around 10 pm...my husband is a little younger (2 years) then me and has an excess of energy...I believe he feels like I am not interested in doing the same thing he likes to do...happy hour...night skiing....late night runs to the gym...ect! he works until 6 and i work until 4 pm....We have 2 dogs that need care in the evening and a home that need tending to...laundry...cleaning...cooking ect. I feel m-f is a time to take care of your responsiblities...Weekends are for partying and skiing ect...Sometimes he speaks such nonsese like ....."my wife hates me" and "I'm such a loser" I can't even react to that...it just makes me so amgry...So 2 nights ago things hit the fan...

Our usual daily ritual...

go to work
I go to gym
I come home from gym
I make dinner
husband shows up at 9;00 from gym...

starts talking to me about a something he told his friend and I said..."I really wish you didn't tell him that"...He walks out of our bedroom and storms back in stating "You know what the problem is here....you are a terrible support system.. All you do is ******, ******, ******" I just about fell out of bed.... i called him back in and said "you really hurt my feelings...why would you say that?" his reaction...."Im busy on the computer right now...." I rolled over and went to bed that night....

the next morning I wake up to a slew of boxes he would like me to mail......for him and an email with a list of things to do for him for school....

Needless to say... I have not spoken to him or lifted a finger since the comment..and i just keep getting angrier..last night he came home at 12;30 pm drunk.... wanted to talk... I dismissed him out of our room and he spent the night on the couch... I am so angry and so hurt i don't even want to talk to him.....Why can't he see that his statement was so off color and hurtful??? and untrue...

I feel like a ton of brinks our on my shoulder and no matter waht i say or do i am wrong......

Please advise..

I think you need to sit him down when you both have "the time" (no interferances, so you have his undivided attention)and tell him how you feel. That the things he says to you really hurt you. Give him examples so he'll better understand what it is he's actually saying.

Tell him that you need his help in the marriage. To help with the finances, caring of the home and the pets. Maybe point out that if he does his share in the marriage that you would have more free time to spend with him.

Is there something going on at his job or with his family? Is there pressure or high stress from someplace and he's just (unfortunately) taking it out on you?

Do you suspect that he could be having an affair? I hate to say it...

Or maybe suggest marriage counseling.

I just got married 4 1/2 months ago myself. So I'm no expert...

I'm having marriage issues myself.

If you don't mind me asking...how old is your husband?

I think the sooner you take action the better...

~Chelle