my W doesn't see this yet, but she's about to lose her DD. My two kids stay with a Christian lady after school and during the day for the 3YO. Over the past couple of months, since the A has been exposed, she, my DD, has been acting out and has been completly ugly to this lady.

There's only five kids in the daycare, including them. She has been manipulating them into cussing, screaming and acting rude and nasty to the lady of the house and today that lady told me that she was going to have to stop watching my daughter.

This is how I see it, from a Christian perspective. My wife, who was a virgin when we married, has turned her back on everything she's believed and is now entertaining that spirit of rebellion and adultry. This spirit has found it's way to my kid who now has won her little fight to go to another daycare center where she can play, not do her homework and not be forced to read during quiet time.

I can not let this ruin my kid's life and I'm about a day or two away from bypassing Plan A and going straight for Plan B and telling my W to get out.

She has not agreed to an NC yet and maintians that when she graduates in August, she's gone. She still sleeps in the saqme bed and goes to MC so I think she's actually trying sometimes but she refuses to see what's going on with our kids.

Today over lunch I'm going to tell her what happened and explain, as best I can, that her actions are a direct result of my DD's behavior. Any advice?


Thanks,

FN

Get your children into counseling first off. Secondly, I have the feeling your ww isn't going to hear one word you say. She will probably turn it around on you or say "oh give me a break, dd is just acting out" and not take any of the blame for that upon herself. I know such because my wh won't take any blame for how f'd up our kids have become. I have mine in counseling and it does help them a lot. But she is not going to take any blame for this. My wh tells me it is MY fault our kids have issues now. Ok..... whatever. I don't even bother anymore. At least when the counselor says that something wh is doing is effecting them I can say "counselor says this needs to stop" then it is NOT coming from me but from counselor. Now, sometimes that makes a difference.

That is my oh so unprofessional opinion. mlhb

^ for Fourthnail.

Of course your children need to be your #1 concern right now, but I'm not sure how that would best play out with Plan A vs. Plan B. Maybe ask her to leave, but not go to Plan B yet, though start preparing for it?

Other ideas, anyone?

PS I am still fighting an uphill battle for my children's respect after all that happened, & this is more than 7 months into R.

Thanks all. Actually, the talk went suprisingly well. She told me she had expected something like this to happen but not this soon. It kinda woke her up a bit.

She's still battling that nasty fog but hopefully this helped.

I told my kid last night that her getting in trouble really dissappointed me but that it wasn't entirely her fault; and that she had learned her selfishness and lack of consideration for other from her M and I.

This has brought me a lot closer to my DD that's for sure. Also, I finally took that first step towards dealing with my AADD/ADHD. Over the years, it's been a big problem and has always effected my relationship with people.

Today I talked to my doctor about it and he put me on Statera. 36 years of suffering with this and I may finally get a small grasp on it. It will help more with my DD as she has the same issues.


FN

Do your children know? I told my kids "Daddy kissed Sophia on the lips." As they grow, I am glad that I did. There is no elephant in the closet. They know he hurt me a lot.

They attend a Catholic school. In fourth grade, they are to interpret the commandments in their own words. The 4th grade teacher probably was surprised to see that our daughter's interpretation of the 6th commandemnt was "Don't have affairs."

I was happy to see, however, that her interpretation of the 9th commandment was "Be happy with who you married."

Cherished