Am I right in thinking you're the FWW?

I am too, as are a lot of posters on the board.

I've noticed you sometimes rush into print without knowing all the facts sometimes. This is not a 2x4 in any way whatsoever but I learned very early on that a lot of posters have been around a long time, they know each other and each other's stories and there's a high level of understanding and acceptance of each other's "foibles".

I suppose I'm writing this because I was particularly upset by a post you wrote a few days ago to a very dear MB friend of mine.

Everyone round here knows that WAT calls WSs pond scum just like we know that 2long calls his wife's XOM Rat Meat. It's part of being on the board.

I hope you don't take offence at what I've written - as I say everyone knows about each other and everyone knows I have a reputation for being nice. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

There's so much to gain from listening to each other and learning from each other.

Hi KiwiJ,

I hope you don't mind my horning in on this thread, but someone suggested that I get your input on my situation. My H is leaving me after an affair with his high-school sweetheart, which I understands mirrors your own situation.

If you get a chance, could you take a look at my thread? It's called "They're going to live happily ever after." I don't know exactly what advice I'm looking for -- he's intent on divorce and it's proceeding merrily along -- but any thoughts at all would be welcome. Even if they're along the lines of "Yep, they ARE going to live happily ever after. Enjoy!"

Hoopsie, I'll have a look.

That's active WSs, hon! (But you knew this.)

How's the lamb? Hot? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Seriously, pk (BTW see my post to you on the "liar" thread), don't know if you're a FWS or not as Jen postulates, but Jen knows that I have also written here over, and over, and over that I have tremendous admiration for FWSs who participate on this forum and I believe that this forum would not be successful without them. Period.

During my ordeal I received the best insight and support from FWS "SKM" (look her up on the notable posts thread on JFO) and socialized with her and her H on a couple of occasions. A classy lady.

Someday I'll socialize with Jen and her H, assuming her lamb offer is still good. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

WAT

The lamb's REALLY hot, WAT.

Humidity here right now, 100%!

I knew you meant active WS.

Jen - speaking of hot, we may have to "summer" in NZ to dodge hurricane/typhoon season.

Typical strategy is to head south from Tonga or Fiji before storm season, spend the season in NZ, then head back north and eventually continue west. Bet you're observed the influx of boats doing this, huh?

Still several years away...........

WAT

Yes, I have. But we're a sailing city - there are always loads of boats here. A lot of superyachts summer here as a lot of their crews are kiwis.

This summer has been a particularly good one. One beautiful day after the other for weeks. Not so good now the humidity's set in but even that's dropped today.

Jen - I have to confess that we're now thinking of not going all the way 'round. But it's too early to tell.

We are afraid of the northern Indian Ocean route which one has to take to get to the Med via Suez. Too much unrest and piracy. The alternative is IO southern route to Cape of Good Hope and the long way to the Med before heading home. Too long we think.

So, we may go thru the Panama Canal to get to Galopogas, etc., return east back thru Panama (instead of continuing west to the S. Pacific) and separately go to the Med. So, our desired visit to Polynesia may be limited to a charter in 07 or 08 to test a boat model we want.

WAT

stoooooooooop !!!

I can't take this any morrrrrrrrreeeeeeee

arghhhhhhhhh

It was just for you, Pep.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
WAT
----------------
[color:"blue"] Bill Frist, he thought he could diagnose better,
Making you wonder just who was brain-deader.[/color]

Yes. I ended the A over 4 years ago. I didn't reveal the A until 7 mos ago, which is when I began reading here.


Is the board solely for use by long-time posters? Is that the intent? I've been lurking since July. I think that I could read for hours a day and still not know everyone's story, nor would I expect everyone to know mine. I base my comments on what the poster has written in the thread in question, which I think is logical. Some posters have thousands of posts and there is no way to access their stories, let alone the time to do so.


Faithful follower, perhaps? I notice that crystal hasn't posted for a while. And while I freely admit that I may post without knowing everyone's backstory, I think that many posters have a lot of hurt and anger and that is reflected in their posts. In the case of FWWs, there may be some self-loathing on display as well, that is transferred, as it were.


Well, ol 2long can call his wife's xom anything he wants - it's his situation. My H has descriptive names for OM with anglo-saxon origins. But again, I arrive at the question of what is the purpose of this board and whom does it serve? *If* it is for recovering marriages, persuading WSs of the error of their ways, helping BSs, or anything *productive*, then generalized name calling is useless and possibly destructive. And then there is the clique of "everyone". Maybe "everyone" knows that WAT enjoys calling WSs pond scum. But not "everyone" has to condone it. The forum is called General Questions - emphasis on general.


I have taken *absolutely* no offense at what you have written. I took offense at the words pond scum. I said as much, because a WS coming to the forum could very well be turned off, and I don't think that is the intent of the board. I don't think that the intent should be sacrificed just to please this nebulous...."everyone".


I couldn't agree more. All the same, I think that it may be best if I stick to posting on the recovery forum, as it is more in tune with where my H and I are at.

-rofl , and I thought pissing people off was reserved for LM and myself!

Yo PK - did you see my post to you on the "liar" thread?

Since you took the time to look up my "profile", what descriptive term would you recommend I use to describe the OM in my story instead of pond scum? What term would accurately describe such a person? Some extra info for you that wasn't available in my profile:

OM was a blood donor for my son him when he was undergoing chemotherapy and two bone marrow transplants. He and his family were my family's biggest supporters and cheer leaders through 5 1/2 years of battle. His family (wife and three kids) lived four houses from us. His wife was my wife's best friend. I considered him a trusted friend. He watched my son die. I trusted him so much that I asked him and his son to be pallbearers. Within days of laying my son in the ground, he was taking advantage of my wife in her grief. Today, after breaking up two families, and assisting to take my one remaining child away from me half the time, he still doesn't admit he did anything wrong.

So, if you can recommend a better term than pond scum, please give me a suggestion. (My apologies to real pond scum for making this association.)

"Pond scum" may not be appropriate in many cases. I do not consider all WSs to be "created equal" and further, I reserve derogatory terms for "active" WSs. It is part of my recovery to both denigrate active WSs (in third person) and embrace former ones, like Jen and you. I am sensitive and wise enough to know not to use derogatory terms when communicating with a WS on the brink of "recovering."

I will not apologize for stating my feelings and I have no intention of changing my style. I ask no one to agree with what works for me.

WAT

WAT! rofl, that has to be the first ever apology pond scum (the real stuff we find floating on the edges of ponds) has ever received! good stuff there.

PK, of course the board isn't just for long time posters. It seemed that way when I first started here though.

Rook, the irony, the irony. You were one of the very first people who posted to me.

What did you say again? I think it was "Recovered? Not even CLOSE"

BTW I'm laughing while I write that.

Luckily, JL turned up when he did or it would have been another FWW disappearing from the boards. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

And here I still am, 2 years later.

Recovered? You bet I am. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I didn't see a link to your story, so I did look up your profile.


WAT, I was addressing a post you made in the lying thread. Had I been reading your story, the term pond scum would have been understandable. Harsher terms than pond scum would have been understandable. But this was the post:


Where in this post was OM? Or your story? WAT, you may call the OM anything you like. But you were not referring to OM, in this post, you were referring to the infidel, the WS, the adulterer/ess, in general. That was what I was responding to.


WAT, I'm not asking for an apology, here or in the other thread, so this statement has me confused. In addition to the betrayal of an affair, you have been through a parent's worst nightmare. My H and I have close friends who lost their 8 year old son to cancer two years ago. We have seen the devastation it has wreaked on their lives. I can't even begin to imagine their pain or yours.

I hope that I am not pissing people off, since that was not my intent on this thread or the other. I do tend to be like a dog with a bone, though...focused. I know that I am not pissed off, far from it.

I wasn't pissed off either PK. I was sort of upset on Faithful Follower's behalf the other day. I know she's a big girl and doesn't need me to fight her battles but, knowing her story so well, I just wanted to say something.

I started on the Recovery board but followed a FWW poster to General Questions and it suited me better. There seemed to be a lot of anger on the Recovery board which I wasn't expecting on a board called "Recovery."

Oh Kiwi,

I'm a hard guy to get along with, I know. I'm a straight shooter, and usually, I just get right to the answers. I know a ton of people can beat around the bush way better than me. I'm just not a butter it up kinda guy.

I'm the kind of guy that wins all three sets in a volleyball game, whose team is on a 7 set win streak, and I can write a 2 page email about the things we need to work on! oh man...somedays, I almost feel sorry for my wife! But, then I think about that same attention to detail, that I put into the tasks she asks me to do, or even the little things, like when I do the dishes, she knows, they are clean! I take pre-rinsing to a sickening level of pre-cleaning.... stupid undiagnosed obsessive compulsiveness.

Kiwi, was that post about having a bonfire with some pictures? I just can't remember, thank God, He gave me the absolute worst memory, for which, I'm now finding out is a real boon to my recovery! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

The point is WAT calles ACTIVE WS's pond scum

Guess what - when I was ACTIVE in my affair - I was pond scum you can defend me all you want - that I wasn't myself, (true), that I am a good person who did a bad thing (also true) But when it comes down to it - I was hurting everyone I loved DURING that time, and lying, and manipulating (even inviting OM and his wife to our house for a weekend!!!)- all in all - YEP - I was pond scum.

SO WAT calling WS"s pond scum doesn't bother me - if he was calling FWS or FWW's pond scum - then I would get my gloves on and go a few rounds with WAT <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />