Hello all. Its my first time posting, and thanks in advance for any input.

My wife of 6 years just revealed she had a "fling" with a co-worker a year or so ago while away on a business trip. Alchohol was involved and she says the affair was only out of "curiorsity".

Me and my wife have been together since we were 18 (were 30 now), and everything in our relationship is good. She said she knows she screwed up, is sorry, loves me, etc etc.

Im beyond hurt, but also she is my best friend, soulmate... We have a 3 year old daughter, and everything is great, and then this comes up.

I dont know what to do. Is ending it the answer? We've talked and literly she has told me nothing is wrong, for me not to change a thing, that it was only out of curiosity, because she never really had "other" lovers.

What should I do? I run through the usually emotions, of anger, saddness, etc. We connect deeper...were best friends, and I dont know...its hard to explain.

Im sorry for the rambling, its just difficult to even write this. Thanks again for any input..

Dback

Sorry you are here, but welcome. You will learn a lot here and get some good advice. It sounds like your wife (like most of them) has no idea how hurtful an affair can be to the betrayed one.

Her "explanation" is not very helpful either. My question would be what is going to happen the next time she is "curious" about something.

I suggest the two of you go to marriage counseling.

dback,

Ok, have you two gone to counseling? How along ago is "just revealed." I would strongly urge you AND your W to read the articles here, and I would suggest getting the book Surviving an Affair, by Harley and often referred to as SAA around here.

Did your W explain to you why she is telling you now? Is she still in contact with this co-worker? What does she propose to address what she has done? Has she offered anything to help you? What do you feel you need?

Are you getting the picture that a lot of questions need to be asked, addressed and then answered followed by a "plan" for you two to strengthen your marriage? I hope so. This site offers a lot of resources to do this, and posting here and reading the other posts will open your eyes to many things.

Please read about emotional needs, the Policies of joint agreement, and radical honesty. And yes some of the letters that Harley has answered.

Welcome, and expect this to take longer than your W realizes for your marriage to recover from what she has done. However, it can recover, but both of you will need to face some very very difficult questions.

God Bless,

JL