I'm already biased against attorneys having gone to court once for something minor that an attorney turned into a major issue that went to court. This "nice" attorney overbilled me, I had to threaten to turn him into the state board to get him to be responsive. He didn't listen to me, had too many cases, a good friend of mine had to go to court with me and without him I would have lost my shirt.

So here I go again.

Divorce attorney with too many cases. First I asked that my husband be served by a plain clothes server, not the sheriffs. I told them I was adament about it, and I would be controlling and I expected them to call me before they hired someone. Instead they hired a sheriff, told me after the fact and I again said my ex has moved to a small town, is in a prominent position and I wanted to prevent any gossip. The secretary could care less, they did what they did without my permission.

Then the attorney filed my case, my husband's attorney responded correcting my attorney on critical info in the document. I didn't review this document, the disolution of marriage before he filed which would have prevented any such errors. To this day I still haven't seen what this attorney was responding to.

I met with the attorney asked about my options considered turning the divorce proceedings into legal separation, the same process in this state of dividing assents and deciding about our child. My husband and I have agreed on custody, as it's mine of course since he took a job in another state and will only see our son periodically. My husband wants to reconcile and this divorce process has just made my feelings about divorce and attorneys worse.

I warned this attorney early on that if this turned into a fight I'd back out or let him have it all. My dad died, I have a baby, a business that does well and I can't handle the fighting. I've been up at night worried about this, since I've had no control, and they attorney and his secretary didn't listen to me or bother to let me review documents it's worse.

We only have three more months or the court will dismiss this case if they don't get more info to them. The court clerk told me I could have my attorney file a motion to put it on hold for a few months, I faxed him to do that and he didn't even follow my instructions. I asked also that they mail me a copy of the statement, they didn't. Three weeks later I picked it up as I met with him. Supposedly he's doing what's "best" for me a counselor that I called said... but I believe since it's my 3k that I dished out, I am the boss and he's obligated to help me not only figure out options that are right for "me" and not "him", I have the right to review anything that represents me.

Having gone through a mess with attorneys before I can see how this will snowball. Neither my husband or I want to go to court, but we can't seem to agree on some of the issues. I called a few mediators and they must be busy as I didn't get a call back on Friday. I understand that the courts could make us hire a mediator anyways if the attorneys are busy fighting with each other and keeping this stirred up. It's in their best interest to keep my husband and I angry, it not in ours or our child's. It appears that after all I've been through that the system is poor and adversarial, yet they want to pretend it's for my best interest...

If it means walking away, staying married, having an estranged husband in another state... I will do it so that I don't have to battle with attorneys and the courts. After all I've been through this year, I'm not up for it. Niether is my husband. Legally and financially it wont' make a difference. Anything I buy or my ex buys is split 50-50 so long as we are married, and my husband comes out with less as he's making the house payment and doing more then me in investments. Just beat... the system is beating me up.

It's simple. File a complaint against him with the Bar after you fire him and hire a new attorney. He's obviously incompetent and has a staff that is as incompetent as well.

A good attorney will handle everything for you and you won't be forced to repeat yourself or give attention to small details. Ask friends and family to recommend an attorney in your area. This one sucks.

I did call a friend and she recommended a good attorney I hope.

This one is obviously incompetent, you are right.

My luck is bad this year, I keep going through nightmare after nightmare and I'm exhausted from it all.

No I shouldn't waste my time billed hourly by him repeating myself, nor should he have gotten the info incorrect. Nor should the secretary have mishandled this case when I gave her very specific directions.

I think I will turn him over to the bar.

document

document

document

all your instructions and his responses - the attorney especially.

Hi horsey, I'm on my 3rd attorney. I was going to make a complaint against the 1st one, but even that seemed like too much bother. I didn't have an attorney for a while as WH said he wanted to reconcile - it turned out to be a manipulation for his financial gain.

The 2nd one sounds like yours - he was never there when I called and never returned phone calls, never followed through, and wasn't prepared in court... I was afraid that starting over again with a new attorney would prolong everything.

I finally realized I would spend the rest of my life in divorce limbo with my money draining into his pockets, so fired him, too, and got a 3rd. I like this one. At least he answers my phone calls and talks things over with me - as long as I call him every week to stay on top of what's going on.

I'd go with your instincts and fire your current attorney. Good luck to you!

Thank you for your input, I shouldn't have hired him to begin with, my gut said. I was a journalist and I see suttle things others don't see even before the fact, guess it's a power of mine. I told a counselor I called i was suspicious of him, he said he was a good attorney. I went with him and it turned out awful. I called that attorney back, must have been his buddy, I'm in a smaller town, get so sick of that. Counselors get recomendations from attorneys I guess and wouldn't say anything about him or any of them. The past counselor was the same. Neither would recommend one in town. Of course they are likely really nice to the attorneys and know the truth on how crooked some of them can be. OR that they just care less. I'm not going to turn him in, too much energy.

Sorry to hear that you had such a scumbag for an attorney. I really empathise. But don't think that all lawyers are like that. It is only the 99% of lawyers who are scumbags that give the rest of the lawyers a bad name.

First of all, if you think that he screwed you, you should report him. If you do not, he'll get away with it. If you want to take the easy road, do not pay him. If he asks for additional money, explain to him what you are upset, and that if he ever contacts you, that you will go to the ethics board with your complains.

Second of all, he should have communicated with you. This is the number one complain that clients have about their attorneys.

Third of all, it is clear that he did not listen to you, or discuss things with you. He may have had a valid reason why he used a sheriff for service which you were not aware of. Usually, you tell him what you want, and it is his job to do it the best way that he knows how; how the service is handled is generally decided by the attorney, not the client. In this case, he really whould have straightened it out with you, before doing something that he knew you did not want to have done, even though it really should have been his choice and not yours.

Finally, lawyers like to think that they need to do everything to win, everything to destroy the other side. To lawyers winning is everything. They want to play hardball. When you and your husband are more congenial, more civilized, then you are not following the lawyers' mentality of winning.

Good luck!

Hi Horsey,

I am having similar experiences with my attorney.... he is way too busy. Of course, after I hire him I find out that he takes on a lot of cases. He rarely returns my phone calls even when I say it is important and is horrible at showing up for appointments, I sometimes wait almost an hour after my appointment to get in, etc. And his secretary is rude. More so I think because she is too busy. But everyone says he is a good attorney. He is my second attorney, so I hesitate to go to a third. I called a third attorney and she said that it is not written in stone, but if you have a good attorney now (which he has the reputation as being good) it will look unfavorable if I change again. I wish I would have switched from my first attorney way before. I asked the first attorney to do stuff, he didn't, so I too thought it was in my 'best interest' now I'm beginning to think it was laziness. My advice is if you are thinking about switching attorneys. I would do it now for several reasons.... one being the attorney will have the background info from the get go. That is the one complaint I have heard from my current attorney was he doesn't know as much background. Also, when I called the third attorney, she said to start putting together a 'summary' so that if I ever do decide to switch lawyers for some reason it will be easy to 'catch them up.'

Since my hour delay waiting for him last time, I requested him to have his secretary to call me 5 minutes before he is ready to see me and I will drive over. (I'm only five minues away). And, so the day of I called the secretary at 5 minutes to and he wasn't there. I said call me when he gets in and it was 20 minutes after that. On the other note, my first attorney always took my calls, got back to me, was on time for appointments, nice secretary who talked all the time -- but it got me no where.

In my personal opinion, if you are planning a divorce, I would rather go through with it rather than live through the anxiety and agony just because of the lawyers. Sure I can say that because i am now on the other side of the fence, but ask me even a year ago and I was still holding on. Only you know how you feel and what you want. My husband was very manipulative and even when I went back to him, he would do sly things -- like putting just his name on things. Sure you can bring it up in court -- if you know about it! I felt that at any moment my life savings could be taken away. As horrible as this may sound to some, when I took him back I still had my reservations about it working out and I would stash a little money here and there -- which was huge help on paying my attorney and just getting by at first. It gets you off to a better start. My X cashed in all of their savings, hid things in his name, with his first wife so I know he was 'distrustworhty' and when I filed I froze all of our accounts so he couldn't do anything with them - stocks, home equity draws, savings/checking, etc. I can't prove it but he had been stashing and planning for years. I talked to one of the women that he had an affair with and she told me he said he schmoozed me and moved back in because he said 'he didn't have all his ducks in row'. It is amazing how much you can be played wtih.





After having to deal with 2 attorneys, I am soured by their profession and do feel they are just in it for the money and don't really care. so I disagree with the poster above saying they like to fight and win. sure maybe a few, but most are in it for the money.

Is there anything like a Women's center in your town?? You can get a lot of advice and help from them. Just even advice on what they have heard about attorneys. They even recommended one to me, of course, after I have this one. But that is the one I called for more advice. They have all sorts of programs for women, and sometimes no matter how well off you are, or whatever, everyone needs help when they are in a low period. There are programs for counseling, just helping you out around the house, etc. It is nice to have an extra ear for things or advice. When I went through my divorce (finally!! -- I told you in earlier posts I filed three times <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ) I was pregnant, 2 other children, and with everything going on that my husband would drum up from the manipulation, pushing his weight around, demanding things, it was nice to have someone there. If you're anything like me -- I need to talk things out....

anyway, sorry about the long post. Good luck with what lies ahead.

Oh, "The System". I hate the system. But who do you shoot!!!!

I've not had attorney frustrations really, as other than real estate, I've not had a personal need. My H needed a lawyer once, and he was represented well (and expensively) LOL.

The System that I hate is the government bureaucrats, and the small uncreative minds, and carved-in-stone procedures. (I won't give you the story, it would take a year). And, as a law-abiding person, I never thought I would distrust the police. But another story (related to my H's need of lawyers) is so unbelievable, and the actions of the police so underhanded and incompetent, that it scares me to have so much distrust...in case I ever had to depend upon them again. (I called 911 because of my H being suicidal..he was newly on anti-depressants...they barged in like the SWAT team and hauled him off to jail).

When I saw the news footage last week of the military guy, at home in CA, was shot by police. He was the "passenger' in a car chased by the police. He was on the ground, the police officer told him to get up. He said "I'm getting up"...the officer put some shots into him. TOTALLY unprovoked. Sad to say, but I'm not the least surprised.

Sigh!!!!

Who can you trust?

PS I'm not sure if it was this board, or another board, but one lady posted that she had made an enquiry call to a lawyer, just to see where she stood legally regarding her marriage. She did not want her husband to know that she called. She got the answering machine. She stated in her message that when they called her back could they please *?? (whatever the number is that makes the callers number NOT show up on caller id). She didn't want her husband to see that a lawyer called.

Guess What!!!! They called, and did NOT do as she asked. She went with another lawyer.

Before he moved out, I did have to ask my now-x to tell his attorney to stop calling him at home. During the business day, I was the one home. I didn't need to deliver messages from his attorney. I think he was a scumbag.

Your ex's attorney cannot talk with you. This is a very strict ethics rule. As a matter of fact, although a client is the boss about almost everything, and the lawyer must do what the client wants (generally, anyway), this is one of the few instances when it is the other way around: you cannot talk to the lawyer of the other party unless you get a permission from your lawyer. So, if your ex's lawyer spoke with you, he likely broke the ethics rules.