So we don't threadjack ol 2long's thread.

Trust me on this, I'm a FWW and I haven't had contact for 2 years. You are wondering if you'll ever get to the stage where you don't think about OM.

He never crosses my mind. And I was the foggiest, worst withdrawn, completely pathetic, thought I'd die FWW. I had an 18 month totally obsessive PA. It ended, not because I wanted it to, but because the OM ended it.

Not a great start for recovering a marriage.

My H and I are now a normal, happily married couple.

Thanks Kiwi.
I have followed your progress and so admire you.
I will go back though and re-read your posts.
Do you have a summery of your messages?
I would sure like to read it, if you do?

What I mean is, have you ever copied and pasted all your
posts concerning your recovery, and put them into one
long message from the beginning withdrawal to recovery?

I just posted on 2long's thread.

I really don't want to get into a big discussion,
we are having company pretty soon for the Super Bowl.

Kiwi Dear, I am in the first stages of NO CONTACT and it will take a lot of time to get to that wonderful place that
you are now in your life.

Thanks for thinking of me and for the encouragement.
I appreciate it very much.

Mary, if I copied and pasted them all there wouldn't be room for anything else around here. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

All I can really say is that I made a great deal of effort, using all sorts of mind strategies to get through it. I talked to FWW's here and we supported each other through the bad patches (talking about the OP was FORBIDDEN but talking about how to get it through it was talked about a lot).

JL (Just Learning) and other wonderful people here helped me a great deal, my H helped me a great deal and time took care of the rest.

I actually did have contact once, which is well documented on the board and I took quite a lot of 2x4s for it, but really, the (accidental, and it was accidental) meeting showed the OM in his true colours and it didn't take me back to square one. What I hadn't taken into account and what I got the 2x4s for (quite rightly too) was for being able to disregard my H's feelings so quickly again.

Originally posted by Kiwi:

That is awesome Kiwi! I too was in such a miserable fog 1 year ago today. Much progress has been made in myself and my marriage since then. It has been a LONG HARD ROAD that only I am to blame for. I had an EA that was abrubtly ended when the OM's wife found our emails.

I hope in another year, that I will not think of the OM. He still crosses my mind...not that I want to be in contact again, but he just crosses my mind and that is just one of the consequences of the awful thing I did.

Posted by Kiwi

Again..awesome! It's encouraging words like this that help the newly FWW's and even FWW's like me to continue on the path of NC!

Happy to help <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Jen, would you mind sending am an email - williams @ smartchat.net.au Thanks.

BigK, I have a personal rule against e-mailing male members of MB so, sorry, I won't be able to.

Have you noticed there are only antipodeans and poms on the board?

All the Americans are going to be watching the Superbowl.

That's OK Jen. Email MelodyLane and ask her about BBQ

LOL, BigK, I know about BBQ. I was a moderator when Mel first set it up to help a couple who couldn't post on the board. I couldn't keep up with MB, my e-mails, BBQ AND home and work so I had to let it go.

Nothing personal, but I prefer to help out in my own little way.

Jen - I take great pride in not watching the SuperBowl. My WH was a sports nut, and always had to have a HUGE party. Since he has been gone, I haven't watched one football game, thankyou.

Cool, B. You don't have to do A THING you don't want to do.

It's very popular though, here as well. Probably in Oz as too. We'll watch anything that involves men (or women) running after, batting, catching, swiping, slicing or throwing balls.

BTW my moderator name was "Silly Furren Chick" or something like that.

Thanks Mel. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks Jen. BBQ also has chat and I was looking for someone to chat with my FWW who is in the same time zone.

Mary and 2BN,

I think one thing you can plan on is that OM will come to mind from time to time as you recover. What does happen is IF he does come to mind, you will find with the passage of time that the feelings attached to these thoughts will NOT be what they were during or just after the A. The feelings fade, and eventually become detached from memories.

The good news is that you DON'T need a frontal lobotomy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />, just time and patiences. Jen is a wonderful example of what recovery is like and she WAS a bet testy when she came here. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

So hang in there you two. 2BN, you are much closer to being fully recovered and from everything I have seen you will do just fine. Mary, there is a lot more hope than you realize but NC is really really important. That is why everyone reacted as they did on 2Long's post. Several of us know him personally including Pep, and I think you got her "classic" brief shot, because she is very hurt for 2L who she does know personally. 14 years of Fog from his W is a lot of time and he has been trying to recover his marriage for 4-5 years how. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> It is soooo sad. He is one very very neat guy and a very smart one as well.

Hang in there Mary, and 2BN it is good to see you out and about on various threads.

God Bless,

JL

PS: Jen, I was where WAT is worrying about pirates these days. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> It really would be good to see you, along with WAT. He is one very very funny guy in real life.

JL it would be a privilege and a pleasure to meet you and WAT in real life.

Actually, worrying about pirates isn't as silly as it sounds. There's some big trouble out on the waters these days.