This is a very lonely night for me. My WW and I have been separated for one month and are in the middle of divorce procedings. I still love her very much and miss her terribly.

This is the first Superbowl in eight years that we haven't been hosting a party or attending a party together. We always had such fun. Now I'm sitting here alone, thinking of her, while she is probably out having a great time. I guess I'm having a pity party. Anyway, I haven't talked to her in the last few weeks and have been trying to act as if I'm doing great. I'm not, I'm hurting pretty bad.

I don't really have anyone to talk to about this, so I'm venting here. When will this pain ever stop?

I'm right there with you in Lonely Kingdom. I left my WH last Sept (physically at least, emotionally way before then). I have been having a lot of 'firsts' since then. We used to do everything together. Today also is the 1 year anniversary of my dad's death. I'm trying to be ok emotionally etc etc but it's just tough. I HATE being alone. It is driving me crazy!

ps. I forgot to answer your question...thing is, I have no answer for you...I ask myself the same thing.
At times it seems like it will all never end.
Here is a good place to vent. Feel free. If you don't mind - who filed for the D? What is your sad story. We all have one. Little differences in situations but same feelings more or less.

Thanks for the reply GO. Just to have someone to talk to is nice. My story is about same as usual. Married 6.5 years, very happy years for the most part. Never fought or argued, no abuse of any kind. I loved WW with all my heart and lived to see her smile.

She had always returned that love until last May, when she bacame distant. She would apologize at times for being distant, and told me often that she loved me with all her heart. Something just didn't feel right, so I snooped on her cell phone and emails. Found out that she (40) was having an emotional affair with a young man (26) who lives with his parents and is my neighbor. When I confronted her, the mothership must have came, because she became a complete alien. The lies, the venom, the complete history rewrite, it was all there.

I got the usual answers to my questions, such as "I don't know", "I don't love you like a wife should love her husband", "ILYBNILWY", and things most WS's say. She has always told me, though, that "I love you" and "I'm going to regret this". When I asked why she was doing it if she felt that way, I would get a "I don't know" answer.

I exposed, and she agreed to NC. After a few weeks I would catch her at it again, and I would tell her that it must stop or I would be forced to file for divorce. She would cry and swear that she would NC, but would soon be back in contact. She moved out on Jan. 3rd, and I filed on Jan. 9th. I really hoped and prayed that she would realize what we had was good, but I found out that she began to seriously date this "kid" as soon as she moved out.

I will not break my vows, and have no interest in dating anyone. She and I were so happy for 5.5 years, and I absolutely loved that person. We had so much in common and could sit and talk and laugh for hours about nothing. If only the alien hadn't shown up.

123GO,

I am sorry about the anniversary of your father's death. I can't imagine how tough that must be. Feel free to vent to me if you need.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I thought my H and I were happy too. ...What is it about the month of May though! That's when he did 'it' with an 'it'.......destroyed 13 years in 10 mins. (Dated 5 yrs, married 8 at that time).

<<When I confronted her, the mothership must have came, because she became a complete alien. The lies, the venom, the complete history rewrite, it was all there.>>. LOL!!! That's so funny.

<<<...If only the alien hadn't shown up.>>

if 'alien' refers to the OM then I think you are being too nice. I like to use SPS - stinkin' piece of sh!! !!!!!!!!!!!

ps so who are you rooting for in the superbowl

When I refered to the "Alien", I was refering to this person that my W had become. It's like a multiple personality or something. My wife would never lie to me, no matter what, but my WW lies all the time.

I like the SPS tag for the OM. Seems to fit him to a tee. Do you know him?

I'm leaning for Seattle, how about you?

OK. I get you.
...........MANY of us in here know SPSs. LOL.

Sorry - I have to go with Pitts. I support only winners. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Hey, that's a cheap shot! I think Pittsburg is better, but if I'm not really a fan of either, I usually go for the underdog.

If you don't mind talking about it, what has happened with your marriage and WH/WXH?

We are at a point where we don't speak to each other much, very clipped if we do, and I guess she is counting down the minutes until freedom (although she is acting divorced already). It tough because we work in the same building, different companies, but common break room and restrooms.

He had a 1 time PA in May 04. Confessed in July. I tried to give the M a chance because he was all I had ever known or wanted. Rocked my world I tell you because we had a great thing going. Like you - "very happy years for the most part. Never fought or argued, no abuse of any kind."
To this day he still uses the 'I don't know' line. We went MC etc but I guess I'm just not cut out for what it takes for recovery. He was really good to me, very loving, attentive etc and if while like that he could have betrayed me so.........I will never understand. When I moved out in Sept we had no contact whatsoever. Little over the hols but back to NC now. D is basically final, only to get the certificate now. He wants to be friends but contact with him does me no good.

PITTS........YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
why go for the underdog?

You working in the same building thing is tough. Will you stick it or can you get a transfer or something.

..........anyway T41 - I took a pill so I'm sleepy now. Heres wishing you all the best. You should get lots more company now that the game is over.

Maybe we'll catch up on other threads. Goodnight and take care.

I don't know why I go for the underdog. Personality flaw I suppose.

I'm sorry about your divorce. It sounds similar to my situation, I guess they all do. My WW's brother suggested a marriage counselor, so she felt obligated to go. We did go and he was great, suggested some reading material, and gave us some homework to do. After the session, I asked if she would do the reading and homework and come to the next session with me, and she said "no, I'm content where I'm at right now". Talk about another dagger in the heart. There's not much heart left, but dang, she's a good shot with those daggers.

Why do they always want to be friends? Is that just something they say to soothe the guilt? WW has said many times that she wants us to be friends when this is over. I don't think I want to be her friend.

Thanks 123 for the visit. Maybe we can catch up later. Goodnight!