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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Let me ask you something ... was the man you had an EA with married?
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Joined: Mar 2005
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Yes. When his wife found our emails over a year ago, he made the decision to have NC and to repair his marriage - as did I. Why do you ask?
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Posts: 35,996 |
Because I was/am too lazy to look it up <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
Thanks for answering.
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 980
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Why did you need to know for though?
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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I did not need to
simple curiosity
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Joined: Mar 2005
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OK <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Posts: 35,996 |
ask me anything too <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 980
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How long have you been married? And how long did your H's A last?
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Posts: 35,996 |
We will be married 25 years this May. Neither married before.
The affair lasted 18-24 months (depending on when you measure the friendship sliding into an EA)... the PA was 18 months in length
any other questions?
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 980
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Posts: 980 |
We'll be married 20 years on May 17th!
Did your H ever contact the OW again when the A ended?
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Did your H ever contact the OW again when the A ended? no she called my H my H told me I called her H she was pissed off at my H for being honest with me so it goes <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Posts: 35,996 |
May 16th <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Are you making special anniversary plans for the big
20 ?
We had a GREAT time on our 20th anniv .... sweet!
We wanted to go to Italy for our 25th ... but we still have one teen at home going to private school and we can't afford such a trip at this time ... but I am not giving up on the Italy idea.
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Joined: Mar 2005
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no
she called my H
my H told me
I called her H
she was pissed off at my H for being honest with me
so it goes Wow! So things are going wonderfully now? My H called the OM a few times....just to get the message across!
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Wow! So things are going wonderfully now? oh hayul yezzzzzzzz we are 10 years recovered We looooooove our marriage now.
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 980
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Wonderful! Our marriage is healing well. Thanks for chatting with me! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Our marriage is UNrecognizable compared to pre-A
both of us are more committed to each other in ways I never knew existed
especially on a spiritual level ... which is the path to connectedness in other areas
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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FYI my H is also a recovering alcoholic his recovery is especially remarkable .. as is mine ... a recovering know-it-all <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 980
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Our marriage is UNrecognizable compared to pre-A What do you think was the major factor to your great recovery? If you can pinpoint one? Marriage counseling? especially on a spiritual level ... which is the path to connectedness in other areas Are you both Christians?
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Posts: 35,996 |
What do you think was the major factor to your great recovery? If you can pinpoint one? Marriage counseling?
My husband was never on the fence after discovery. Not once. I do not do well with fence-sitters. ( I can see you <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> rolling your eyes 2b .... LOL)
The marriage counselor was a married man who had been a priest in his youth ... he told my husband to do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to repair the damage ... and my shell-shocked husband did just that. bless him.
Are you both Christians?
Yes. I was converted to the Catholic church, with my WH as my sponsor ~before~ I knew he was enmeshed in an affair. That was one of my biggest pissed off moments ... realizing he stood next to me as I was being baptised ~~~ the whole time he was commiting a terrible sin.
We survived that crisis ... and came out just fine <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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