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Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Archives Resolving Conflict Last Chance...What Do I Do?

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Last Chance...What Do I Do? #1582640 02/06/06 04:17 PM
Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 2 D dumbhusbandintx Junior Member
dumbhusbandintx Junior Member D Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 2	I had an affair on my wife about 14 mos. ago. We have been trying to work it out for the past year but it seems her nightmares and the constant reminder of my infidelity is to much for her. We still sleep and live together. We have not had "sex" in 6 months but I try not to push the issue. She is really haunted. She is also stricken with MS and her daughter (my stepdaughter) is needless to say, a very "needy" child. She has filed for a divorce in the last week but I can still see her turmoil. What do I do to help this? Is it too late? Should I just get my attorney? I still deeply love my wife. All ties with the "affair" were severed a year ago. Please help!!!!

Re: Last Chance...What Do I Do? dumbhusbandintx #1582641 02/06/06 09:46 PM
Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 22 B bb1977 Junior Member
bb1977 Junior Member B Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 22	I feal your pain. I am sure someone will answer you but I must say that from what I have read that this can be overcome. There is books and info on this great site that teaches people how to overcome these issues. Many people myself included did not know such a great site was available. They also have a radio show in which you can call. Dr. Harley is on a call-in radio program every Monday through Friday from 3:00 pm to 6:00 pm CST at 877-466-5270. You may call during that time and talk with Dr. Harley on the radio. For information on how to do this, please see the Marriage Builders web site (http://www.marriagebuilders.com) or call me at 888-639-1639. Good Luck

Re: Last Chance...What Do I Do? bb1977 #1582642 02/08/06 04:25 AM
Joined: Nov 2004 Posts: 8,970 L LovingAnyway Member
LovingAnyway Member L Joined: Nov 2004 Posts: 8,970	Dear DHIT, Funny name, sir. I worry about typo'ing it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> BB gives great advice. There is definitely hope for you, if you want it. Help. Understanding and comprehension. How did you attempt to repair your marriage these last 14 months? Along with reading Lovebank, Lovebusters, Recovering from Infidelity and Most Important Emotional Needs, this link might help: A Recovery Guide for Wayward Wives Don't be put off by the Wives part...just replace in your mind the genders while you read it. Many of us have been in your shoes. You can recover. You can grow and flourish. Informing yourself is the key. You're not alone. LA

Re: Last Chance...What Do I Do? LovingAnyway #1582643 02/08/06 01:40 PM
Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 2 D dumbhusbandintx Junior Member
dumbhusbandintx Junior Member D Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 2	Thanks for the advice. I'm not sure she will be willing to read up on this. She tells me she needs to heal...."apart" from me. Which I guess I understand. However, the financial difficulties this poses are huge. I love her so much i represented myself today in court. We are still living together and sleeping together. She did tell me, that she imagines that after the divorce and maybe after I've moved back to Houston she says her mind sees her following me. Which I just find totally odd being as that I'm right here. But I love her so I can't fight her in court and I won't. She'll win. Everything. House, kids, money....you name it. Anyways...thanks for the advice!

Re: Last Chance...What Do I Do? dumbhusbandintx #1582644 02/10/06 10:37 PM
Joined: Nov 2004 Posts: 8,970 L LovingAnyway Member
LovingAnyway Member L Joined: Nov 2004 Posts: 8,970	I wasn't advising her to read it...but you. Switch the genders. It works. "She tells me she needs to heal...."apart" from me. Which I guess I understand." Does she want to be safe from the triggers she has around you? When was dday...you had the affair 14 months ago...when did she find out? How long was the A? If you will answer the questions, get deep into the resources here...you don't have to divorce. Let me know what you really want and I'm there for ya. LA

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