Sorry I have not been back to resond lately, things got pretty rough for a while and I ended up in the hospital a couple of days. I am a very petite, have very small bones, but my prob is I have to constantly eat, I dont gain weight very easliy and really have to eat a lot to maintain 95 lbs. I dont gain weight but I sure have no prob losing it like crazy, I have been known to drop 10 lbs in 3 days no prob. the stress got to my stomach so much that I was losing everything before I even got it swallowed. So of course I started to drop wieght like crazy the past week. Dont remember much of the day but H said we went to grocery store and I complianed the smell of chicken they was cooking in the deli made me sick to my stomach and then I collapsed. So I had to spend 2 days in the hospital hooked up to fluids to give my stomach a break.

But I dont see no break coming.... we went to court today over the medical insurance, her lawyer stated the statues.... my H really argued really hard that we have no money for it, that his COM are not covered, he gave them the letter from the state saying that if we took another job my kids will lose their coverage. We showed him the letter from our doctor saying one of my sons has very serious health issues and needed to be covered. He even asked if he could have the OC covered by the state like someone here said they did.

The judge says that he does sympthize with us .... BUT... the statue says.... his hand are tied...

We have 10 days to cover OC with medical insurance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cant believe it!!!! How on gods earth can we do it? They are making us chose between children!!!!!!

My H just looking back at me from the desk as if please help him. I actually lost control of my feelings and started crying and had to leave cause I knew I was getting ready to jump up and start yelling in a hysterical fit.

I never thought in my whole life I could hate some one so much, there is people I may dislike but dont hate with a fury like I do OW right now. God help me I hate her with every inch of my soul!

The day started off gloomy, and right now I am not I am not very hopeful but some other things did happen today and just maybe some good will come out of it.

First I had appointment with a attorney today, it was right after court, ( i had to rescedule my first appointment since I was in hospital and it was the earliest he could get me in) he is new in town, not even really set up in his office yet, I told him my story, told him that I really needed a baracudda to fight for us, and that if he did not think he could help us then please be honest cause I was going to sell my car for his service. He asked me to leave my files with him and let him look them over and if he can find the loopholes then he will do it pro bono for us. I dont know yet if he what I need to fight for us if he knows all the tricks, I just didnt get that feeling but going to see what he says Saturday (yep he is going to meet us on a weekend) and if not I will keep trying to find the one that will. He says that it is not right and not fair, and I am so tired of hearing that! But going to wait and see.

The other is before I got admitted in I did write one of my state congressman cause it was going to be a month before I could get a appointment to see him. One of his staff members called and said on my compliant I needed to start with my local legislature. He gave me the names of my local ones. I wrote them to please listen to my story and meet with me and help me find the way to change the statues in my state. When I got home there was a message from one of them, he wants to meet with me next Wenseday!

Is this the first step in a fight to change the laws? Is he interested in telling me what to do to make the changes and maybe help me with the journey? Is that why he called cause he does want to find out more and want to help set the law right? Or does he just want to tell me that is the way things are and just suck it up???? What do you guys think?

Lynn I seen you posted you went to the beach, sure wish you was here to give me some advice on how I should present this to my legislature! :-( but glad to hear you getting a break and hope you enjoying your self, you deserve it.


Crazyhurt if my meeting goes well.... sharpen your pencil cause you took my rant and raves and put them in words I was trying to say so I bet you can write a mean letter, my meeting might not be nothing but I would start by finding out who all the state legislatures are in your town. If you call your state congressman office they can tell you all the ones in your area.

Jaxyn, I feel the same way she dont deserve a red penny it is not right but I wish you the best of luck and keep me posted on how it goes.

((((Thunderstorm)))) Wow... my heart goes out to you. What state do you live in? I've never heard of them being able to take 50% of your check. But, that might just be in my state.

I live in ND, it might differ from state to state a little, someone down south told me in their state is 40% so it could be state to state.

I just couldnt believe that it could be 50% but they had sent a copy of the order that they sent to H employer and it stated the laws, that they could take 50%, that the employer was allowed to take $3 additional for the extra paperwork out of our check, that they had to send the money within 3 business days after our pay period, that they would be under whatever code violation if they in any ways fire or punish H because of the wage withholding, blah blah blah......

Here CS is automatically withheld from your paycheck, that law went into effect back somewhere in the late 1990's. If your case was before that then they will change it to income withholding when they come up for review. I tried to get them not to do to let me make the payment cause I am friends with his employers and i didnt want them to know about it cause I was ashamed. H keeps telling me I should not be ashamed, I am not the one that did wrong but I am. But according to the statue I had no choice in that.

They also sent my H employer a letter which they also sent us a copy saying that now our employer needs to put the OC on their insurance program they offer and with hold the amount for that out of our check. His employer was just waiting to see what was going to happen in court yesterday before they do that but we lost the case in court again. So sure the next check it will be minus that too.

Reading about your situation just makes my blood boil. How could they be so calloused to your COM? Like Lynn said, it's just plain sick.

I also can't believe you can only get $30 in food stamps. WTF is going on with our welfare system? Are they living in the dark ages or what????

Our welfare situtation is a big joke anymore!!!

My youngest sis lives in NE, she married a matience man, and she started beauty school, while in school she got pregnant, she applied for help so she could finish school, during the pregnacy a gene she was carrying flared up and she now has RA, her dr says it is the worst and fastest progress of RA he has ever seen. The state knocked her off right after baby was born. Her meds run 1,800 a month, some of pharamcy suits give her the main important ones free but nothing for pain and others she needs, the RA has spread to every joint in her body including her jaw now. She is a 23 year bed ridden woman with a 3 year to care for. The only help she has is my mom who spends more time in hosptial then not because of sugar diebtic, state will not help her either and she has appealed to the highest court and even the newspaper ran articles to try and get the community to help make changes.

I had to laugh in court yesterday, the lawyer read the statue to the judge and told him the reason for this statue is to prevent people from going on the state help..... the OW makes to much money to even get state help so what are they worried about and if that is the reason what about my COM???? This whole thing is a nightmare.

I just have to keep telling myself that somehow at sometime this is all going to work out, it is hard to believe most of the time but I keep telling myself that. The only thing I am certain about is what I try to teach my children and hopefully be the kind of adults like I want them to be. And that I am glad that I gave my H a second chance, he is giving me 200% trying to make up for his mistake. He admited last night besides all the guilt he is living with he is still afraid that I will get very frustrated with all this and kick him out. I wont do that, cause I know he wishes he can go back and correct the mistake he has made. I did admit to him too that I really have to bite my tongue sometimes from lashing out at him for being so dumb but if I ever lost the battle and did lash out to please remember that it is the pain doing it. Cause tho I have pretty much forgiven him it is hard to forget, but I am trying to as much as he trying to make it up to us.

I am scared that he will feel so low and worthless for what position his action did that he will leave, he has been there for me so much and in someways the A made our M better cause now is alot more open then before, so I try to put my pain and anger aside and try to make sure that I understand him too the way he understands what I am going thru.

Well I went to my meeting with my state legislature yesterday. I have no clue yet what is going to go on, and I am not trying to get my hopes up for them to crash yet. But I did make sure that he knew I was willing to stand up and fight.

He didnt really tell me all I was hoping, like ok lets do this we can change things for the better. He did listen to my story, I spent 3 hours in there talking to him. He asked me alot of questions, he tapped his pencil alot, shook his head and sighed. He never once said that is the way it is.... he never once said it is for the best interest of the child.... I never once got the vibe that he felt that way even. To me I got the feeling that he was just as frustrated as me about the way it is set up and will we be able to make the changes. He took copies of my documents and said he will get back to me. He did warn me that it could be a long process cause the state legislature only meets every so often.

My H boss called him into the office the other day, they had gotten the court papers to take the insurance out of his income and put the OC on their insurance medical. She said that this didnt seem fair. by the time they take out the $892 out of his $1,400 check it leave us nothing for the month. She said that she was willing to be able to do something if we needed some help. And she brought this up what would happen if she knocked him down to part time, that is 38 hours a week, we would lose 2 hours a week but being knocked down to part time would disqualify for him to get the insurance. That 2 hour would be better then the $292 that is coming out for insurance. It does sound like a better end, but just ticks me off cause we would also lose paid holiday, sick days and paid vactation time, he has a week due to him that we was going to take during the summer to go camping and get away from all this mess and it is so unfair to him. But my question is will he get into trouble if he does NOT on his own free will move to part time?? Or would they just make him take it from somewhere else?

Another thing got me baffled. My husband has for years volunteered his time to coaching (basketball, baseball, and soccer) we have 3 boys so he does 3 teams one for each of the boys. the guy that runs the basketball prgram called my H and told him that a different school and a grade that none of my kids were in did not have a coach, he could not find one parent to volunteer their time, and the games were starting here soon and they was not going to be able to play cause they didnt have no coach, he relized that my H had his hands full with the other teams but would he please take on this team and he will pay him $200 (and not to tell none of the other parents or coach cause it was suppose to be completely a volunteer thing). He would of done it for free if they asked, but we was thrilled about getting the extra money cause we knew insurance would also be out of this check and tho we needed the money for bills we was going to use it cause we have 2 or our boys birthday this month and was going to use it to buy them a gift and take them to their favorite pizza place. We went down and filled out the normal papers so he could get paid at the end of the season. And it is a one time deal. Just a way for them to say thank you for helping them out.

I got a letter the other day, it was a copy of one they sent to the park and rec saying that they are order to the income witholding!! They are taking that check!!! Yes we do have errors, BUT it was not because we skipped payments like we have a choice in that since everything is income withheld. The CS payments, the payment they set up for the errors, and the insurance is coming out of his work check.
So how in the world can they take this? Makes me think that what would be the use of him getting a second job (if he could) cause they would just take that too, cause since if he brought in more income wouldnt they just bring us back in and up the CS???? It is a never ending cycle that we seem to be in a no win situtation.