I really like this site and appreciate any wisdom/guidance anyone can give me. My husband and I are in the process of getting a divorce. I have not filed yet (he wants me to) as I was tring to get thing figured out with our house. We don't have any kids. He first said that I could have the house if I could afford it, but if I couldn't he wanted it. Which is fine with me, well last night as we were talking I said that I have been calling around and doing some number crunches and I can afford the house payments if I would get a roommate. He said nope I don't want that. I want that house. It just made me so upset we agree on one thing and then it's not to his liking and now he is changing his mind. He has contacted a lawyer, but he won't file. I guess I am just wondering from everyone's experience what I might be able to get. I have heard that I could be mean and get the house and make him pay, is this true. Again, we have no kids and he wasn't abusive and it was my decision to end things. Please any advice would be great thanks!!!!

It looks like he was counting on you NOT being able to afford it, so he could get it.
No kids, short term marriage, its typically a 50/50 split of assets accrued during the marriage (which includes house equity if purchased together).
Keep in mind, buyout price is not the same as market price. You would need to back out realtor fees and other closing costs to come to an agreeable purchase price.

Contact an attorney. Your husband sounds like he will not stand by agreements. I've been going through this for 3 years, and still don't have an agreement - but I finally got an attorney. We have had multiple "agreements", but my husband always refused to sign them when the paperwork was written up.

So far I have spent $2,000. trying to settle this amicably.

Thanks. I just contacted a lawyer and I have a meeting scheduled for next Tues. and didn't realize it until now that that is V-day! Oh well I am going to keep going cause I need to make myself happy!

Pay for what? You've been married for just over 1 year to a man that you really didn't want to marry in the first place.
Not in Love?

Why exactly would you want to be mean and "make him pay"? Some more details would be helpful. Who wants the divorce and why?

ba109 thanks for post.

I have heard that I could still make him pay for part of the mortgage when we are divorced. Yes we only have been married a year and half but toally we have been together 9 years. I don't really want to make him pay for anything, but he is getting really mean with things and wanting this and wanting that. Things that were gifts and I guess I am not wanting him to get away with everything. I want to fight for ME! I was the one that iniated the divorce by talking about it, but he is the one who has already talked with a lawyer and has been verbally splitting things up as you know I don't meet with my lawyer until next week. I hope that I have answered some of your questions.

Incredible stuff.
What do you expect him to do?
You initiated everything but are put off by his own motivation for self-preservation? Sounds to me like he's pretty aware of how divorce in the U.S. favors the female.
Sell the house, split everything 50/50 and walk away.

Well I met with the lawyer today, now it's just getting my H to sign the petition to start the 90 day peroid before it can be final. I am just wanting to 'walk away' and start getting on with my life. I am not the kind of person to ponder on things it a waste. You can't do anything about the past, but the future is a day away. In my situation there wouldn't be any favoring as we dont' have kids and I really don't want anything. I just want to move on. Thanks again for every word and I will keep you all updated.

I really can't explain it, but today I am just in the slumps. Last night I had a coversation with my STXH and found out that he is going to put the house up for sale, which I am o.k with it was just that he didn't inform me and just sprung it on me the last minute. He told me that he signed the papers today, but he keeps telling me that he loves me and cares for me. It hurts me cause this is something I know that I am hurting him, but I would hurt him more and myself If I went back. We talked about an issue I have that he and no one really knew about (his soon to be x brother-in-law made passes at me years ago) He was very angry and not at me, but at his STBX brother in law (the brother in law is a very messed up man and has been in prison) I got a scary call from this brother in law that he was in town (he has been in prision for the last 2 years and probation in another states) and he heard about our soon to be divorce and said that he finally gets his chance (he called me at work, which I have change jobs and he didn't know about it). Anyways just so much drama and today I am just feeling crappy and needed to vent. I am usually a VERY strong person. I know that we are all out here for each other and I really love the support that we give each other. This site is very very good!!! Thanks again for letting me vent.