... could you have a look at my last post on my thread, "What does this sound like to you?"

I'd appreciate some thoughts.

And again, please?

I know how it is to wait for advice on a post. I wish I could offer you advice but I am new to all of this and just don't have the experience needed to comment. I do want to say though that I feel your pain and It is very frustrating when the kids are in the middle of it all. Again, sorry I have no advice except hang in there.

River - Are you hoping for replies to your last post regarding WH's return email to you? It appears to me that your WH returned the serve, with a significant degree of snideness. I am no Plan B expert, but I think you are having way too much contact with him. In my view, the tone of your email was somewhat controlling, and, judging from his response, a LB. Can you find an intermediary to conduct "business" with him while you are in Plan B?

I'm not sure what you mean. This is my first e-mail contact to him in over a week, and I have been advised that the Harleys agree that contact over children and finances is OK.

As far as "controlling" and LBing goes, keep in mind that he had already agreed to have S10 on those days, so I didn't e-mail him out of the blue to tell him he was having them no matter what.

Other than that... I think that what you call controlling I see as in control. I agree this is a very dry email. I'm a writer by profession and write anything from fiction and humor to corporate writing, so I have many different styles. The style I am using in this e-mail is business. Nothing more, nothing less. He will not get warmth, openness, lightness, friendliness, or any of the beautiful things about me that I have offered him for the past 8+ months and he chose to step on and take advantage of. If the past months have taught me anything, it is that I can do NOTHING right by my WH while he's in this state. If I'm polite, he's rude and hurtful. If I'm loving, warm, and friendly, he's rude and hurtful. If I'm happy, he's rude and hurtful. If I'm sad, he's rude and hurtful. If I'm assertive and refuse to take any of his crap, he's rude and hurtful. He has chosen to take offense at any little thing he can find and is found clutching at straws because my behavior has been exemplary, but he will STILL take offence. Nothing I have done has been good enough. If he sees the tone of my e-mail as an LB, IT IS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME.

Thanks for your opinion though, I appreciate it. Orchid appears to be of a similar opinion to yours too. I'm not closed about this, BTW. I'm willing to accept that my e-mail "voice" could use some tweaking, so I may tone it down a bit in future. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />