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Many probelms are involved, including Infidelity and financial abuse *DELETED*
#1583570 02/07/06 07:29 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 589
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LLG
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Post deleted by reallyconcerned

LLG=Living, Learning, Growing formerly reallyconcerned
Trying to stop fearing and start living
BS-35
WS-33
kids, yes
1 D-day 8/2003, 2nd D-day 1/2006
Current status:
Working in Plan A.
Wondering where to start
LLG #1583571 02/10/06 10:49 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 589
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I've found it difficult to figure out where to begin negotitating when it seems that your mate and you are incompatible and barely agree on anything and when you have resentment toward each other. I'm still reading trying to find my way. It is important for me to continue in this vein until I am able to map out which way to handle this situation. I'm trying not to Love Bust but beating off the negative thoughts about my mate that cross my mind is an all day affair. Anyway I continue to struggle.

LLG=Living, Learning, Growing formerly reallyconcerned
Trying to stop fearing and start living
BS-35
WS-33
kids, yes
1 D-day 8/2003, 2nd D-day 1/2006
Current status:
Working in Plan A.
Re: Wondering where to start
LLG #1583572 02/10/06 02:36 PM
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,416
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Quote
I've found it difficult to figure out where to begin negotitating when it seems that your mate and you are incompatible and barely agree on anything and when you have resentment toward each other.

You can't, it's pretty much that simple. If you read through the basic concepts you're going to see the "Three States of Mind in Marriage" - Withdrawal, Conflict, and Inimacy. True and healthy negotiations do not exist in withdrawal, are hard pressed in conflict, and so they can truly only be done effectively when y'all are in a state of intimacy.

You mentioned you've got some issues to work on, well work on them, and draw your marriage to a place where y'all can negotiate.

Hugz, Thoughtz, & Prayerz

Bill

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