Quick Summary: I found out last Aug that wife of 11 yrs was sleeping with her x-husband. I then kicked her out of the house. We've been to MC 4 times and last time I felt it not needed to re-schedule. Yesterday after a few sllepless nights and much thought I contacted her and asked to talk. I layed out for her how this man and her are forever connected ( they have 2 sons and 2 granddaughters) and how I'm struggling with this. If we were to reconcile she will still need to talk to him if even only in an emergency. She and I will most likely run into him in the future at a family gathering. It's unreasonable to expect complete No Contact and at the same time that's unacceptable to me. This may lead to more sneaking around with him. We talked about some other things. She stated she felt unimportant in the marraige. I do take 50% of the blame but only before they started their affair. The deal breaker last night was this: I asked her where they made love and she said "Thats between me and him and not your business". This just made my blood boil but I kept my cool said good-bye and left to never look back. Concepts on this board are No Contact and Full Disclosure. Both are not gonna happen in my situation. I'm seeing a lawyer today and at least I won't have any regrets. Thanks for reading................

Do you want the marriage to survive?

Jasper,

Sorry you are going through this. It will be hard, keep posting for support.

jasper.....

so sorry for what you are dealing with. I had the final straw monday (not a similar situation to yours at all ~ but it was the last straw)....I've had it. It is heartbreaking all over again....but sometimes you have to do what you have to do....

all the best.

Daisy

Foundareason...I DID want the marraige to survive. I was the one to suggest JC. I have been the only one to (in 6 months) even start any conversations about our marraige. I have been sitting and waiting for 6 months. For what? Maybe an I'm sorry or even something close. I then find out things are going to be kept a secret and/or none of my business. No marriage can survive that nor could I live with that in our marriage. But I still have to live with it. thats going to be hard. I felt I owed it to her to let my feelings and thoughts known. She doesn't feel this way. I have to live not wait and I have 1 final course of action and it's going to be TOUGH!

Well I filed divorce papers Wed. and she was served today (Thursday). I was impressed the lawyers office called to tell me that she was served. Kinda takes the wondering away of when it would happen. I feel terrible but at the same time feel as though I nade the right decision for ME! Nobody ever knows the pain until they go thru it. I don't wish this on anyone. Suppose I'll see some of you over on D board.