Well - MOW left her BS..this is the one that works at our business..I don't know if her BS threw her out or she left so she could openly be with my WH. I heard this thru the company grapevine. People are already making comments about her and my WH. Like I need to hear more crap about the 2 of them..

Funny, WH is being decent towards me, WHY??? Does he think I don't about this??? Is he just trying to keep things calm so I don't file yet??

This MOW must be dumber than me...She leaves her BS for what??? A serial cheat..I know for a fact that all the while he was "doing" her - he had others he was "doing". Is she dumb enough to think that if she has more freedom to be with my WH that he'll only be with her??? Probably..and he may BUT, she nor no other woman will change a serial cheat. She envied my life - God help her when she gets it...Watch what you wish for..

I can only expect more drama and I can't emotionally handle more. I just want peace and once I talk to my attorney - I just may get the peace I long for..

I'm going house shopping today...

HUGS

I would have to say WRT to your M to SWH...Don't let the door hit you in the @$$! RUN QUICKLY!!

I woudn't even THINK about whether or not he's being "decent" to you becasue he's not doing so...he's repeatedly cheating and there is NO decency in that...he' simply playing games.

The toxicity of their A is now spreading to your livelihood...you and your attorney need to ensure that ANY impact is minimized by expedient D proceedings...

Hang in there,

WNB

{{{{{ITHURTS}}}}} Wow, It sounds like you're telling my story, I'm just farther down the road... My WH and I own a small business and MOW was an employee. I always suspected A's but WH always denied them until he up and moved in with one of the suspects! Running a business where all the employees knew more about my personal life than I did seriously tested my emotional stability!

This was 5+ years ago... I've been running the business alone ever since, WH lost his professional license due to substance abuse, I've had NC for over 3 1/2 years with a restraining order, but WH has successfully blocked Dv so far, probably for financial reasons.

I thought I couldn't emotionally handle anymore many times, but turns out I had to and I could. Not that I wish the same on you, but sometimes, unfortunately, circumstances prove to us that we're stronger than we think!

Hope you have a good attorney, I'm on my 3rd... Good luck with house shopping!

WNBS - Hi, Cyber buddy - how has the dating world been treating you????

As for expedient proceedings in the D - WH won't contest that's for sure - but he will drag out the settlement for years..That's not something I look forward to - so that's why my attorney tells me not to file. If he's gonna drag it anyway - just live the lifestyle I've been livin....

Remember how I was having trouble finding a house - it's amazing when you get so sick and tired of your WS and the life of living in the same house - but, being sooooo alone that it breaks your spirit - a house that wasn't so appealing before is looking better everyday..

Hugs...

SORRY FOR THE THREAD JACK


LetSTry
You Posted ::This was 5+ years ago... I've been running the business alone ever since, WH lost his professional license due to substance abuse, I've had NC for over 3 1/2 years with a restraining order, but WH has successfully blocked Dv so far, probably for financial reasons.

How can he do this, your life is being held hostage by this fool, how on earth can you not push your divorce thru, can you not sue?

swan's song, Good questions... Believe me when I say, he's very clever and I've had trouble convincing one lawyer after another that when I try to tell them what to expect, I'm not just being a blaming, resentful BW... unfortunately, they don't believe me until they experience him themselves. My last lawyer looked at me in the last joint meeting and said, "He's crazy!" DUH! Then later, "You know he's very intelligent!" Double DUH! Very bad combination.

It's been over a year since I got my latest lawyer and he's finally getting it and recently filed an "At Issue Memorandum" which means we're going to end up in court, eventually. I absolutely count on WH to stall as long as he can. By mutual agreement, I'm sending him a check every two weeks, on payday, as pre-payment on what I owe him to buy him out of everything except our house.

About 1 1/2 years ago he forced the sale of our house so he could buy a house for himself and MOW. His argument was I had everything and lived in a house while he'd been forced to live in an apartment. My former attorney was completely unprepared so the judge looked at me, and said, "Sell something." He also let WH choose the realtor and set the price. The house was the only piece of property that isn't connected to our business except for the piece of vacant property where I now live in a travel trailer (with a generator for power) with 4 of 7 horses (3 are in a pasture at work), 4 dogs and 2 cats he left behind for me to care for. I had to have a septic and well dug, fences and pipe barn put up, purchase a trailer and generator before I could even move here while dealing with realtors, buyers, repairmen, appraisers (demanded by WH), packing, cleaning, etc., etc., etc.

Ironically, he was the one running the business before he moved out, and hiding all his financial dealings from me (and it's taken me 5 years first figuring them out and then straightening them out). I had no idea what I was doing at first, and if I hadn't figured it out, we'd have both lost everything, and now I have to buy him out of what he abandoned. On top of that, he wants attorney's fees and spousal support.

I definitely feel like I'm being held hostage. Problem is, even though many STBX's disagree, most aren't actually trying to prevent the Dv from happening as my WH is. The longer he waits, the more the property we own increases in value while the mortgages are getting paid down, so the more I owe him to buy him out!

Something is not right with the system if this loser can hang on for yrs in the court system, I just don't get it. I would sue some one and I would let the papers know or even your congrssman or woman know that you are still be screwed by the system, and by a husband that has been living with his girlfriend while you support both of them.

swan's song, I appreciate the support because it's definitely been difficult. At this point I just want to get it over with and move on. I rarely even mention it here anymore, because I can't afford the anger and resentment.

I joined this thread because I really related to what ITHURTS said about only expecting "more drama", not being able to "emotionally handle more", and just wanting "the peace I long for..." I have to reserve my energy to get through this, because that's all I can handle right now.