My new bride of 5 months (8 yr relationship) was having an internet affair for a few months prior to and after our wedding. Of course, when I found out, she said she was in "love" with him, although the never met and she never saw a picture of him (due to their distance apart- I know they never met in rl). He came into her life when we moved and I had to work a graveyard schedule, and I truly believe he just filled a void in her life at that moment- nothing more.
Anyways, she has since told me she was never in love with him, which of course, I want to believe, and has given me every indication that she wants to focus on fixing our relationship. Problem is, she wants to keep this person as a "friend", which of course would prohibit me from healing and getting on with my life. She used to cyber with him constantly (when I discovered the affair and installed a keylogger), although I know she was lying about the things she was telling him she was "doing". I'm not sure what she got out of that, but on the other hand, i don't really care- I'm just glad that stopped. She has told me she is going to stop talking to him- but I want more closure than that. I need for her to tell him what she has told me (he still thinks I don't know they chat, although she has showed me her chat logs to show me it "doesn't mean anything" to her)- that she never loved him, that she loves her husband and wants to end contact with him so we can move forward with our lives. Of course, the first time I told her I wanted this (which was this am) she had a problem with it. She didn't "understand" why i needed that and initially outright refused. How do I proceed from here? How can I help her see that I need this to heal and put this behind me? I'm hoping as she thinks about it today, it will seem like less of a forced hand and more like something she WANTS to do to help US. Any advice?