SC -
Another poster just pointed out to me that my nickname (and possibly my attitude -- oh my! ) makes me sound like I have a "know-it-all complex".
I figured I'd get a comment like that at some point. After all, how could someone be stupid enough to have an affair... then have the audacity to come here and call herself "smartcookie"?
If the other thread is the one I think it is, my wife (Magpie) sent me that thread yesterday, commenting that it was interesting, especially what you had to say (I'm still waiting on clarification of what she found interesting <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />).
For what it's worth, both MP and I were...not happy with one particular poster's response to the insights you freely offered, based on your own experience. Actually, I was severly tempted to reply to that individual, because their reply to you (in my opinion, for however much or little it's worth) pretty much showed that they were doing (or at least showing) what you were trying to warn them about. (Man....if my wife reads this she's going to print it out, take a red pen to it and send it back to me for corrections on that run-on sentence. This one too, probably <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />).
As a BS, I appreciate the insights you freely offer as a FWW. A lot of people on this forum have good advice and insights, and every once in a while I run across a couple working on recovery that inspire me, usually because I can see so many similiarities between their situation and me and MP's. You and Mr. Cookie are one of them.
You may have made some bad choices in the past (we all have), but don't let anyone ever tell you that you're not smart. The fact is you are
trying, and there are plenty of supposedly smart people who wouldn't even put in a modicum of effort. If you weren't smart, you wouldn't be here, and you wouldn't be working with Mr. Cookie on your marriage.
You, and every FWS on this site, deserve to be applauded for your efforts. Marriage is a partnership - it takes two to make it work. FBSs would do well to listen to what FWSs have to say, and put aside their feelings of pain and hurt from time to time to try to understand the pain and hurt their spouse is going through. Both sides have an active role to play in the healing process, and it's a lot easier to listen to someone when you're not yammering at them.
I'm still new to a lot of this, and this forum....I apologize if this is a threadjack or if I ruffle anyone's feathers. Just wanted to give you some encouragement (if you needed it) and let you know that there are BS's (probably a lot of BS's) out here that
are willing to listen to what a FWS has to say. I wish the best for you, Mr. Cookie, and your kids (Cookie Monsters? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />).
