Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 271
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 271 |
Good Morning America did a short segment on marital snooping this morning. They were relating the story of Heather Locklear and Ricky Sambora. Heather read Ricky's email and saw an email from a mutual female friend which included suggestive pictures. She filed immediately for divorce.
Diane Sawyer was on a cruise ship with a group of women and started an informal poll of the women on the ship, most of whom said if they thought their spouse was cheating, they would snoop. Diane seemed to be stunned that all these women would stoop so low (LOL).
My take - you never think it (infidelity) will happen to you. Your perspective changes once you've been a victim.
Stay safe. Practice radical honesty. If you suspect cheating, then snoop. You are at war to save your M and snooping is a tool to be used to end the A.
Me = FBS age 51 FWH = age 51 M 25 years, 2 children 16 and 20 D-Day 5/19/05 Recovered and happy
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Diane seemed to be stunned that all these women would stoop so low (LOL). I am always amazed at this retarded logic when it comes to snooping. Do these folks also believe that the police are "stooping low" when they spy on drug dealers? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> There is nothing LOW about investigating someone whom you suspect is harming you behind you back. That is twisted, irrational thinking. No one has the right to the privacy to destroy another behind his back. Rather, folks have an obligation to protect themselves when they feel it is warranted and take steps to stop the harm. There is no virtue in sticking one's head in the sand.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 174
Member
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 174 |
While I'm all for snooping. I am wondering, as you begin to expose, let's say, you have some pornographic material sent from unmarried OM to WW would you send it on to OM's workplace? Anonymously, of course. Looking for some thoughts here......
There is a clock on the wall ticking. I don't know where it is or what time it is but she's waiting for something. Actually, I think I found the clock. I can't see it clearly enough to read it though....
BH (Me) 46 WW 46 Married 15 years A began - 6/05 DDay - 7/30/05 Exposure - 8/1/05 D papers served 8/10/05 A continues....
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 957
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 957 |
You bet, straight to the HR department, supervisor, on up the chain as far as I could.
"Never argue with idiots or WSs, They just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 725
Member
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 725 |
It is unfortunate but all WS's need to remember that if the affair had not occured most likely no one would have snooped on them in the 1st place.
It blows my mind how this is overlooked. I had to snoop and felt just horrible doing it but I am grateful I did because I know it helped kill the affair thusfar.
However said it is so right. Perspective changes when one is on the ugly end of an affair.
WOL
BS (Me) 43
WW or FWW 40
2 DS's 16 and 13
Married 21 Years
D-day 9/10/2005
Exposure 9/11/2005
False NC 9/11/2005
Discovery of Contact 12/23/2005
NC (Letter written Jan 2006)
Divorce Petition Filed Jan 2006
In a holding pattern.
Me Still Handing in there
Phil 4:13
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
Member
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060 |
Very sad that Diane didn't do more "snooping" into her subject matter before asking questions.
Typical of shallow journalism.
Tidbit > When asked why they chose to study journalism, a vast majority of undergraduate journalism students included in their reasons, "I don't like math or science."
Think about it.
Anyway, think not of infidelity snooping as spying, think of it rather as necessary affair research.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,975
Member
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,975 |
Ok Diane, so which is worse or should I say lower: Snooping or Cheating??????
I am the BW, He is the FWH D-Day: 12/02/03
Recovered
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,621
Member
|
Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,621 |
Don't call it snooping.
Call it Intel.
It is war after all.
"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan
"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky
WS: They are who they are.
When an eel lunges out And it bites off your snout Thats a moray ~DS
|
|
|
0 members (),
682
guests, and
73
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,623
Posts2,323,508
Members72,000
|
Most Online3,224 May 9th, 2025
|
|
|
|
|