As my day in court comes closer my husband has drawn futher away from me. I feel so all alone. Where my days off from work were a joy now he sleeps the whole day and gets up when it is time for me to go to bed. He doesn't talk he doesn't want to do anything that I want to do. And makes excuses for not doing them like ( I am about to eat ) and I know he is lying. I asked him to come and lay with me last night just till I fell asleep and he just came in fell on the bed laid there about time minutes and then tried to pull on me for sex. saying just come on and get it over with. Dang it I am about to goto court because I was raped and this is the attention I get from him I am to proud to cry but dang it it is all I have left to do. Most of the time he is outside on the telephone and erases the numbers when he hangs up. Please someone help me find peace in this time of the storm oh and the D.A keeps moving the arrival date up now I leave on the 15th so I don't have much time and he will not be there with me through this what kind of a man is he?

Lady,

I am not sure of your story. With a short synopsis, I see that you were raped. Hoe long ago? By whom?

I might be jumping the gun here as I dont know the whole situation, but the actions of your husband sound very typical for the husband of a wife who has been raped. Not that he is right or I condone it...just that he has his own set of issues in this...because of this.

Is he in counseling? While I dont even want to say that anything he is feeling comes close to what you have gone thru, I do know that a husband who's wife has been raped goes thru a whole host of emotions. He feels like he failed his wife by not protecting her. He feels violated by this guy because this guy has taken what is his. He has anger and hurt and has no idea how to express it. At the same time, he feels guilty expressing it to you...because his violation pales to yours.

Again, I dont know your particular situation.

In His arms.

Are you getting some kind of support from the DA or a rape crisis center? I don't think your husband is going to be the one to do it.

You are in a horrible position, and my prayers are with you as the trial approaches.

Hi Ladychevy,

I agree with Mortarman. H or boyfriends of rape victims such as yourself don't know how to handle the trauma you have been through.

I don't know if your H has been having an affair, but I believe you were suspicious of it a time back. If you have any suspicions, you should not agree to sex with him anyway until you and he have had all STD tests.

I agree he is trying to rush you into sex in a very uncompassionate, ungentle, unloving way, which in turn can remind you of a rapist. This is the hard part about being a victim of rape or molestation. Your H doesn't understand it. His trying to get you to have sex with him right now in that type of attitude can again damage you.

Is there a godly counselor/clergy that could help you both?

I know you are having a difficult time with court coming up, and memories rising in your mind again. Your H attitude doesn't help, but take your eyes off him for now, and keep your eyes on Jesus, and concentrate on what you need to do.

When your H is sleeping, go somewhere with a friend, or family. Do something around the house, a project, pray for him, etc....

Blessings,
Lady

First this rape happened in 09/11/ 2002 and no he is not seeing anyone he is to proud or whatever and tonight I got the blma e for everything that has happened with the rape cause I did not have a weapon on me. The guy search me me for one cause he thought I was a cop in the first place. And no my H is being an [censored] on the whole thing because he wants to send me there by myself with support. What the **** is up with that we also so had a fight about not not having childeren in this marriage and he said to me me why? he is a *** ****** if you know what I mean I have had my test and I have passed mine he won't go get one and yes he is having an affair.