Hi slammed,
Sorry I haven't kept up with you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I just saw about your job...I hope opportunity comes knocking really soon.

Looks like drama is continuing in LALALAND...Keep yourself removed from the chaos...you have enough to deal with. Have you made a decision about your house?

Hi Slammed,

I come here every now and then to see how you are doing.

My H and I are doing well. He is stable. It's been a year now since his infidelity. My heart is healed, and life is good. It was a difficult year, but all thing are possible with God!

I'm sorry to hear about your job, and hope and pray this could be an opportunity to land you at a better job soon.

Sound like not much as changed with WH. I'm thinking his talk about OW leaving and his wanting to be alone has been his mantra to you and his therapist for a long time, even though that hasn't been the case. I agree with Mimi, that words don't matter, what he "does" matters.

I pray your WH comes along, but if he doesn't Slammed, God has a good plan for you, not one of hurt and pain inflicted by your WH. He will let you know step by step what to do.
Pray always!

Love & Blessings be with you,
Lady

Hey ChaCha,
Thanks for checking in. I'm glad to see that things are
looking up with your WH and situation, and thought your
trip to PR sounded great !
I am planning a little trip for myself in a few weeks, just to have a much-needed getaway.
Haven't decided or done anything about the house and haven't
had any more of WH's "rantings" about putting it up for sale
which is good given the current job situation (wouldn't be
able to qualify for anything, or even know how much I could
afford for a new place until I get a job). Hope the job hunt
won't take too long, and then I'll have to decide what to
do...

Thanks Lady, for your continued support and thoughts.
You are right in that WH has been spouting this same WS
"mantra" of his ("want to be alone, on my own") for a long
time. Maybe he's actually convinced himself of it by now ?

Have had no further "Private caller" or calls from OW since
her attempt to reach me at work, so I have no idea what the
deal was. WH should still be busy with his Comm Service-
I think he has about another 2-3 weeks to go to finish the
45 days.

Have stayed busy doing a few things around the house each
day, working on the job search, getting out to run errands
or at least get away from the house a bit, and for the past
few days, going to the hospital to see/help with goddaughter
who was in the accident last week. Am glad to report that
she was released yesterday, and is improving. She can't
return to work, drive, or do too much right now, as she's
still a bit "foggy" from the concussion, and her mobility
is limited and difficult while she's sore and stiff from all
the bruising and abrasions. She's staying at her Mom's
house for awhile, so she can have someone around her and be
able to enjoy the A/C, and Im to go later to help change the
dressing and wrap on her arm.

Slammed

Had a pretty uneventful weekend here- just did some laundry,
housework, errands, went out to lunch with my parents, and
had a good laugh watching "Somethings Gotta Give" on TV last
night (the scenes of Diane Keaton bawling after their break
up, when she woke up, when she was in the shower, when she
was working were so funny, and sadly so true !)

Am starting second week of job hunting today, so have been
checking my ever-growing list of company and general job
websites, and putting more resumes "online". Got a bunch
of paperwork to read and return to the Unemployment Office
today also. Was nice to receive an email from a former
co-worker who did the same job at a job in a nearby town-
she was let go for being less that $200 short of her sales
goal, after working for the company 10 years ! She was just
offering support and definitely understands how I feel.

Don't know what's going on with WH and OW, but I got two
calls over the weekend that were from OW- listing her name
but no number on Caller ID, as well as several "private
caller" calls, which I suspect were her too !
Seeing the calls came from her own number makes me think she
really must have moved out from WH's house, as he had said,
but her continuing to try to call me make me think the A is
probably not over. (unless she'd call just to say "you can
have him"???) Don't know if her moving out is a good thing
or if it really means anything as far as the A, but it did
make me curious. I'm trying hard to remember, however, that
it doesn't change anything with WH and I, or mean he will
want to reconcile or work on the M.
My best guess is that she may have moved out, and they may
have "broken up" again (#3 that I know of), but since both
seem to be so totally addicted and obsessed with each other
and their fantasy world, they will likely try to get back
together...
Sure wish there was something I could do, or some type of
"interference" I could run, while during the "breakup" stage
of things !!

One good thing- my parents have known I'd like to take a
little trip and need a break, and over the weekend they gave
me money for an airline ticket and said I deserved to have
a little "getaway", so now I am going to plan a trip, and am
excited <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Slammed

Have a good trip and maybe that time away will make him wonder 'bout you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.

You deserve a fun adventure! Where are you going? Pick some place you always wanted to see or live....check out the want adds while you're there (...w/ a margarita in hand of course) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Thanks Orchid and ChaCha,
It is nice to be planning a little trip, and will be nice
to just have a change of scenery and do some fun things.
Would have been nice to have a friend go with me, but no
one seems to be available, so will just be me. I used to
travel alone alot while single, so I know I can do it and
be fine-
I'm planning to go to So.Cal, as I always have liked that
area and have been there enough times for it to feel a bit
familiar (has been several years though). I can get really
good rental car and hotel rates, and discounted admission
to Disneyland and Universal Studios (yes, I'm just a big
kid) and can visit the beach, something I love ! I have a
good friend in the area, but he is a firefighter, and with
it being a busy fire season, not likely he will be available
to see-

Had a really rough time last night and kept crying and
crying. Can't really pinpoint any one certain reason, but
guess it was just a combination of being tired, having had
a headache and being hot all day, boredom, not much in the
way of job leads or prospects so far, and lack of any change
with WH.
Guess even though I tried hard not to read any hope or prospects for change in OW moving out from his house, I must have let my hopes get up a little, and feel down that nothing has changed. I assume that they must have had some
sort of issue that caused OW to move out, but they must
again be trying to patch things up and will be back in the
"honeymoon" stage of things again, as has happened before
(this is breakup #3, as far as I know). You'd think by now
they'd realize there isn't much basis for any real relation-
ship if it keeps taking the break up/makeup cycle to keep
it going after less than a year, but after all, these are
aliens !

Today I'm tired and still have a headache, but at least it's
a cooler day, and I decided that after some job hunting on
the computer this morning, I'm going to go do a little bit
of shopping, run some errands, and go out to lunch.
Later, if weather is okay, I can do yardwork and clean my
car, and tonight I'll plan to watch a movie so I don't get
so bored.

Slammed

Wow, didn't realize it'd been almost a whole week since I
posted, but then there hasn't been anything much to report
around here.

We've been having unusually hot weather, which has made for
some long, tiring days. (and I've noticed myself feeling
unusually "crabby" too).
Ive continued with my "new routine" of doing some job search
each day, working on the house/yard, running some errands,
walking the dog in the evenings, etc. and trying not to get
too bored or too down.

I have posted my resume on several job sites, search the
job postings on numerous sites and check the paper as well,
and haven't found many prospects so far. Have completed all
the required paperwork for unemployment, but haven't heard
yet if I'll receive any benefits- will probably still be a
couple of weeks for response. Fortunately, WH didn't "balk"
about the bill listing I sent him, and deposited the money
for the August bills and expenses, as he's been doing.

Ran a few shopping errands, went out to lunch with a friend,
had a "beauty" night, watched a movie, and had lunch with my
parents yesterday, so I'm trying not to get too bored or
down again. I also confirmed the airline tickets for my
trip, and am looking forward to my "mini vacation", which
will begin on Aug 19th.

Had an interesting happening yesterday- I went to dinner
with a friend last night, and towards the end of our meal
she got up to go to the restroom. When she returned, she
told me that my WH was sitting towards the front of the
restarant, eating, alone ! She said he had looked up and
saw her, so she stopped for a moment and they had briefly
talked- mostly just saying "hi". She said he looked tired,
down, sunburned, and was quiet, just asking how she was
doing, and she had asked him the same, to which he had
answered "doing okay". She didn't let on that she knew
anything, or that she was with me, just went on the the
bathroom, then back to our table, which was behind WH and
far enough away he likely didn't see her return or see that
she was with me. I was hesitant to leave and possibly have
WH see me walk out, so we lingered awhile, until my friend
checked and WH was gone (it felt very "clandestine").

I know it didn't necessarily mean anything, but I was very
surprised to know WH was there, especially alone, as it was
not a place we frequented, and WH was never much for eating
at a restaurant, especially alone (more of a fast food thru
the drive-up kind of guy). Made me again wonder if he and
OW really did break up, but I quickly reminded myself that
even if they did WH is likely trying to "charm" his way
back with OW, which would be why I've not heard anything
from him or seen any willingness on his part to meet my
PB conditions or reconcile. Also wondered if he might be
in a state of "withdrawal", which would explain his tired,
down and quiet mood ????

Dreamt about weird things all night (it was miserably hot
and I didn't sleep well) including that WH and OW had indeed
broken up, but that WH liked "being alone" and living the
"swinging bachelor" life so much that he still didn't want
to be with me or work on M. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Since waking up and being
able to think more clearly today, I'm just trying to not
think it means anything until/unless I see some "action"
and am trying not to really think about it at all...

Slammed

Hi slammed,
I stopped by to catch up. Got any diet coke or better yet pina coladas? It been crazy hot here too. The kids spend most of the day in the pool. Wish I could too.

So for your mini-vacation...are you going to So.Cal? Or someplace cool?

I'm glad WH came through for you w/ the bills. Including you in the new health plan and all...I don't see him in a big rush to get rid of you. Ya never know what goes on in the mind of a WS. I know w/ my FWH just when I think things are turning bad he does something...then I think...OMG!!Its him... HE REMEMBERS!

I know you are in plan B but I hope WH got a look at you in the restaraunt looking marvelous and having a good time w/ your friend. Quiet, sunburned and tired? Is he still doing his community service work? He must be having a great time in the heat. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

I hope something turns up for you soon on the job front. Seriously, while you are away check out the want ads. You deserve a fabulous opportunity...its out there.

Thanks for stopping by ChaCha- got some great mint iced tea,
Diet Coke, and a bottle of my favorite wine (Riesling), so
what's your pleasure <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ? We actually had a "cold front"
come through last night, bringing wind, some rain, and much
cooler temps today- it's wonderful !! (and helped clear
some of the haze and smoky air coming from the fires in NE).

I did settle on So. Cal for my trip. I had a suprisingly
hard time deciding between staying 3 or 4 nights, but went
with 4 so I'd have enough time to go to the beach ,drive up
the coast, go to a couple favorite restaurants and malls,
spend a day at Disneyland, and go to Universal Studios.
Have been in that area several times so it's familiar
enough to be comfortable, but it's been about 3 yrs since
my last visit. Would love to get to see an old friend of
mine, but he's a firefighter and since it's been a busy
fire season out there, he's likely not going to be around.

Felt very frustrated with myself for having such a hard time
making my plans ! I used to travel often, when single, as
I had free flight privledges, loved to see new places, and
would often take off on a short or spur of the moment trip,
without hesitation. Guess I've gotten used to traveling
w/WH in these past 11 years, so it was hard to decide what
to do with just me. May be a little challenging to do many
things we did together on past trips alone this time, but
I don't want to be a wimp, and think it will give me some
fresh confidence to know I can go and be fine.

I don't think WH saw me at the restaurant Sunday, but it's
possible. I believe he still has about another week to go
and then should be done with his Comm Service work. It's
been hot all the last month, so I'm sure it's been no picnic
to be working outside in the heat each day- no wonder he
was looking tired and sunburnt. Wishing it was "withdrawal"
from ending things with OW was probably just my wishful
thinking- would sure be interesting to know what's going
on with them since OW moved out (and if it's over, why he's
not made a move towards reconciliation ????)

Slammed

How can you be SURE that the OW moved out?

Hi Slammed,

I haven't posted in a while and just caught up with your recent thread. It sounds so much fun to be able to plan a vacation only for yourself. I know what you mean by 'being frustrated for being indecisive', because I went through that a lot last year. But now - whenever I get an idea for fun weekends or trips, I just do it! It's WONDERFUL.

I too wish your WH saw you in the restaurant, just so that he would adjust his expectations of you. You are capable of going out on your own or with your friends, without WH, to have fun!

I understand how you are curious about WH and OW's situation, but keep remininding yourself that unless WH is willing to make changes to work on M, none (even if OW did move out and they broke up) of that matters. It's good that he is obviously NOT enjoying his community service in this heat and did not even have a company to have dinner with.

Stay positive, and I keep praying for you to find a great job shortly.

Milk

Mimi-
I can't be 100pct sure that OW moved out of WH's house,
but her calls here last week listed on Caller ID with her
actual name (number not given, it is apparently unlisted)
rather than coming from her cell, or WH's phone as they
have in the past. That makes me think that she must have
truly moved, in order for her to have her own phone listing.

No calls this week, so maybe WH has already "conned" his
way back in OW's good graces (probably couldn't go too long
without a booty call either). The number of calls OW makes
here has always seemed to correspond with times when they
were fighting or "breaking up" ! It's so frustrating, and
even though I've tried really hard not to get any hopes up,
just thinking she might have moved out gave me a tiny bit
of hope, but still no changes-

It was much cooler today, which was a great relief, and will
undoubtedly be better for good sleep. I've been feeling so
grouchy with the heat, lack of job prospects, boredom, and
have gotten much more irritated about little things than I
usually do- think I am definitely in need of a vacation !

Thanks Milk, for the continued support and prayers for a
job soon. Glad you are enjoying some trips and doing "your
own thing" too. Almost had to laugh at myself, since I've
been doing travel for over 20 years, but had so much trouble
deciding what to do when it came to my own trip !

I'm sure it's true that WH is not enjoying the Comm Service
and is probably getting very tired by now, since much of it
has been during the hot weather, and he has to keep up with
his real job too. If OW moved out then he's also having to
do his own laundry, meals, pay bills, housework, etc. all
things he's not very accustomed to doing as well.
I almost felt a little sad for WH when I heard he was there
eating alone, because he really doesn't have any friends.
(of course, this is of his own doing). I'm so grateful that
I do have friends and family and lots of support.
(including all of you - thanks !)
Slammed

Have tried to make some good progress on the job search,
caught up some paperwork, accomplished things around the
house, and had some good days this week, but today isn't
one of them- I'm really having a hard time.

WH left a message last night (I was home, but didn't answer)
- said he wanted to let me know that he had deposited the
money for the Aug bills and expenses in our account.
Said he hoped my job search was going well.
Said he only had a couple more days of Comm. Service left
and would be glad to be done with that.
Then said there was a dog at the Humane Society right next
to the place he's been working that he liked, and thought
he might get her, so wondered if we still had our dogs old
kennel or any other accessories.

Overall the call wasn't so terrible, but him talking about
getting a dog made me feel terribly sad and hurt, because
it just seems like he is moving on with his own life and
gradually letting go of everything that was "us".
I feel like he's replacing our dog with another one, just
like he replaced our house with his newer, "fancier" one,
and me with the skanky Ho.
I felt so sad for our dog, who still looks for him around
the house and loved "her daddy" so much.
I even felt sad for a new dog because I just don't see WH
being home much or having the patience to take good care of
a pet himself and that's not very fair to the animal.

Guess it was just he combination of already feeling down,
tired and frustrated with the job situation, combined with
suspecting he is still involved with OW (regardless of her
moving out), but this really got to me. Am I making too
much of it ? Does it have any bearing on us ever getting
back together ?

I'd had a headache all day yesterday, so took some migraine
meds and went to bed early, but didn't sleep that well- I
had strange dreams all night, including one that WH was
being very charming and promising OW "the moon" to get back
with her again (which I think is probably what's actually
happening), that OW was laughing in my face (she probably
is doing this too), that I had gotten the key and snuck in
WH's house to take a look around at everything (I have
actually thought about doing this, just for curiosity), and
finally, just before I woke up, I dreamed that OW called
the house again, as she often does, but that I answered the
phone and "let her have it", telling her what I thought of
her and all the things that WH has lied to her about.

Woke up feeling tired after all that, but got up and thought
I'd run some early errands to get out of the "funk" mood.
Then, on my way home from the grocery store, I got stopped
and got a speeding ticket !!!! AAARRRGGG !!! Not exactly
a good way to start the day, and it's $110 to boot. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Had a number I didn't recognize on the Caller ID when I got
home, so called it back (with my number blocked) and it was
OW !! Got voicemail, which said "Hi, this is OW, with XXXX
(company), sorry I've missed your call, but please leave
a message and I'll call you back, and ...make it a great day". So appears she's still either trying to check up on
WH and his "story", wants to bug or insult me again, or
was just trying to see if I was here- never have known what
her reason is for calling. ? What was interesting was the
name of the company she mentioned, which was a food sales
company. I'm sure she had told me before that she worked
for a medical or pharmacy sales company, so wonder if she
lost or changed jobs- perhaps that was partly why she was
staying at WH's ????

Guess I just feel like I have giant letters saying "LOSER"
on my forehead today, and I feel so tired, stressed, ugly,
and FAT (realized I've gained about 5 pds since being off
work). Know I need to get myself together and am just
having such a hard time with it today- both getting the
ticket and the job situations where H would normally have
been supportive and made me feel better, and I miss having
H around, then feel furious with him, that skanky HO OW<
and all the mess that he created with the A.

Guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself and venting today.
Slammed


BS- (me) 42, WH- 39
Married 8 years, together 11 No kids (WH has D13 and D10)
8/05- WH moved out, says "doesn't want to be married, wants
to be alone" but denies A. Did Plan A as best as possible.
10/05- Dday when OW calls, exposes A and WH living with her
they break up briefly, WH moves into own place, A resumes
12/05- WH gets DUI, needs ride/help, diagnosed with bipolar,
starts new meds, says he wants to reconcile
1/06- WH moves home, things looking up with new meds and
him in IC, but I suspect continued contact with OW.
2/06- Great trip to Vegas with H, feeling some hope of
recovery, which doesn't last long, A resumes.
3/06- WH moves out, A is back on.....
5/06- Plan B starts

I suggest that you change your phone number.

If your WH wants to reach you, he knows where you live, Slammed.

It's going to depress you to hear his voice.

Each time this happens you have to go through WITHDRAWAL from him again.

Also, by the OW calling you, you continue to be caught up in their triangle.

The point of PLAN B was to remove yourself from this.

Whatever is going on with them is nasty and smelly and will taint your personal recovery to be touched by it.

You will not be able to figure out the details of that unhealthy, dysfunctional relationship of theirs.

How sick to have to stoop to calling the wife of your adulterous loverboy!!

Rise above that mess..YUCK...

Thanks Mimi.
I have thought of changing the phone number again (although
I hate having to pay again since finances are tight).
I changed in back in Feb when WH was home and OW was calling
here all the time, but apparently OW must have gotten into
WH's cell phone to have the new number. My direct work line
was on a business card in his wallet, so I guess she had
snooped there too... (gee, what a trusting relationship they
have, huh ?)

I don't think hearing WH's voice bothered me, but at least
since he'll be back on his normal job very soon, he can go
back to using the email for necessary correspondence again.
I did feel very upset over what he said about getting a dog
for himself- just another thing that is HIM, and not US.
Seems like he's been gradually "weaning" himself off our
life, first with his own house, all new stuff, buying a
boat, and now, his own dog. (what's next, rented kids ?)
Hard to imagine ever being able to get back with someone
when they are so far gone... did you feel that way too ?

Have been thinking of something a friend said to me today-
they said it seemed like WH was so sure I'd "be there for
him, waiting, and willing to take him back, no matter what"
that he had no reason to change, no incentive, and only
seemed to respond to the "ultimatums" that OW seems to give
him. I agree this seems true, so not any new thoughts or
ideas here, but something made me think about things in a
different way today-
I did Plan A for a long time, showing loving, supportive
and caring behavior and being my best wife/person, while
trying to make it known I did not agree with his behavior
(lying, cheating, etc). Then, the PBL saying that I loved
him, our life, still believed in him and us, couldn't have
have contact while he was still involved with OW in order to protect my feelinsg for him ,etc
..
Have I just reinforced to him the ideas he already has
about my being available, waiting on him, still loving
him rather than made him feel any kind of incentive to
change ???? He still doesn't act like he's in any fear
of losing me, thinks he could "win me back", doesn't
seem to really think I'll move on without him, etc.
(or maybe he just doesn't care). Seems like something
really needs to "shake" him up, and nothing I did or
tried before has done that- and since he has no way to
know anything I do during Plan B, maybe there's no way
to do it ??? I realize it's not MB, but is this a case
where 180 might be more effective, change the "dynamics",
etc. ??????

Also, as you know I've not answered the phone when it's
been a "Private Caller" or I've been able to tell it's OW.
Should I answer the phone, see what it is she's wanting,
have a few things figured out in advance to say ?
(such as "Surely you realize the last person I'm going to
talk to about my husband is the person having an AFFAIR
with him", or something else calling it like it is, and
letting her know he has been lying to her all along ?
I have mixed feelings about this since she's been SO
nasty when we talked before, and maybe she wouldn't care
a bit, but I also don't think she realizes how much he
lied about including that there is NO divorce, that he
wasn't seperated, "unhappy", or making a big effort on
the marriage before they met, etc... And I don't think
she thinks they are having an affair, I think she just
believes they met when he was already seperated and I'm
the pathetic, pitiful, vengeful wife, who's just trying
to make it all difficult for him.

Maybe I'm just having a bad day and off the wall thoughts,
so please give some thoughts all-
Slammed

It was a long weekend and I felt really down-
I didn't feel very well, was tired, and think the job hunt
dragging on without many prospects, not being able to get
together with friends (everyone busy with various things)
and the A apparently continuing on despite OW moving out
of WH's house just all got to me...

Tried to stay busy by getting some things done around the
house/yard (usually makes me feel good), ran some errands,
watched a movie and went to lunch with my parents, but
couldn't get WH and what seems like a hopeless situation
(the A) out of my mind.

Although I still do feel hurt to think of WH getting his
own dog (and feel like he's just continuing the cycle of
replacing everything in our life) I tried to think of it
as less of a big deal and not necessarily meaning anything
as far as making it more or less likely we could get back
together. Tried to think of it as WH replacing OW with the
dog (sorry, that's an insult to a dog) rather than taking
it personally, which did at least give me a smile <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I had several more "private caller" calls, and two calls
from OW (listing her name, but not showing number) last
night. While I think this is possibly a "good" sign because
it makes me think there is fighting, trouble, or at very
least "paranoia" going on in the A, it also causes a lot
of anxiety to me, so I will be calling the phone company
today to find out the cost of changing the number again,
or at least if there's a way to block her number so she
can't call here.

I'm still wondering if I should just answer the phone, to
see why she is calling or what she has to say ? I know if
I did that I'd have to have something in mind to say (see
my previous post) and would have to "keep my cool" because
she's been very ugly and nasty when we previously talked,
and I've let her get to me or said more than I wanted to say
and felt very frustrated with myself afterwards.
OR, is it better to just block her home number, not answer
unknown calls, and let her WONDER ?
Please let me know what you think about this.

Felt a tiny spark of satisfaction today, as my former co-worker emailed to tell me she gave notice at work today (first day back from her vacation). She is leaving in less than 2 wks too, so my office will be left with a newly- hired person taking my old position, and now another vacancy. She also said the new person they hired does not seem to be very well qualifed, is very timid and not at all professional looking and had a very hard time in training, so they may be in a bad situation...
I just had to say... serves them right...

Slammed

PLEASE stop saying this without having EVIDENCE other than her calling you from her phone number and hearing this from your WH....



This is because he continues to have access to you, having heard his voicemail..

I always went through WITHDRAWAL...just like you are... after such contact from my WH..



This is why I'm encouraging you to change your phone number. This is keeping you involved in what he is doing. Plus, he could have said this on a whim. It could all be part of a BIG LIE just to get you thinking about him and it worked...


GREAT..about deciding to change your number. IMO, this not necessarily a GOOD SIGN. You are involved in the SICK nature of their relationship. Unlike, normal, healthy relationships, this does not mean that they will necessarily breakup. Of course, she can't trust him given the nature of how their relationship began in the first place. She already knows that he is untrustworthy given that he is having an A with her.



ABSOLUTELY NOT!! This gets you even more involved in their DRAMA....

She is your ENEMY. Anything you say to her will be used against you...distorted and twisted....

The very best and recommended thing for you to do is to CHANGE YOUR PHONE NUMBER. That is GOING DARK as PLAN B is supposed to be, Slammed.....

Thanks, Mimi. I'm sure you're right about continuing to
not talk to OW. She managed to turn things around to make
me look bad before or use things against our M, and I'm
sure she'd try to do that again, so there's no benefit.
I also don't need to hear anything about them taking out
the new boat, if WH did get a dog, etc...

Not that it makes any difference on the situation, but it
does appear that OW really moved out of WH's house. I
checked the online "white pages" and there is now a listing
for OW's name with an address but number "unlisted". It is
in a rural area outside of town, which makes sense since
she has/had horses. From where WH lives, it would have to
be an 45-60 minutes drive, just what he needs to be doing
with no license, huh ?

Glad you also reminded me that theirs is not a healthy or
normal relationship (not even close !) Have to remind myself
of that often, or anytime I wonder why in the world they
stick together with all the odds, lies, paranoia, nothing in
common, etc. I definitely think that both have some real
co-dependency and obsessive/compulsive tendencies that are
probably contributing to their continued addiction. (at least I know WH does and OW sure has the same traits).
This is a discouraging thought however, since it makes me
wonder if there's anything ever that can break them up ?

Sat on hold for ages with the phone company only to get cut
off earlier, so will try again later. Thought there might
be a way to block a specific number, rather than having to
change the number again, but will find out details/cost.
I don't have a way to change my cell number as it's tied
in a on a plan with WH's cell, but OW has never called on
that number and since it's not "stored" in WH's phone, she
shouldn't be able to snoop and get it.

One more question- do you think I should tell WH that OW
keeps calling me ? He should be finishing up his Comm Svc
work this week and will be back to having email access, so
could send a message. Or, best to just keep to myself ?

Slammed

SLAMMED!!!

DARK IS DARK...no communication with him for any reason whatsoever....especially about the OW..

He is a FOGGY WS..he will only take up for her, Slammed...justify her actions as being acceptable and OK...it does not matter to him if she calls you or not..as long as her calling does not interfere with her availability to him..that's all that matters to him...

In regards to her new address, this could be their second home. It does not mean that they have broken up.

The key is for him to MISS you enough.... through lack of access and availablity... for him to decide to GET RID OF HER FOR LIFE..