hi tigger. i underwent emergency cs on march 15 -- my blood pressure really shot up.

it's still been really tough. and what makes it tougher for me is to see my husband still really hurt and angry. if i could, i would turn back time and change everything i did and did not do, say and did not say. it has been a deeply emotional turmoil for both of us the past 6-7 months. at this point, i'm not even sure if it's the same sadness or now it has become, if not aggravated by, post partum depression. but we take it one day at a time. i really want to make the marriage work and this is what keeps me going each day. but just as it does, there hangs the cloud that my husband would suddenly decide to leave.

my dear husband is still here. we're bringing hom the baby today. i want to try to be happy mainly because he has chosen to stay and give it a chance somehow yet when i see him hurting, i feel like i'm being torn to pieces.

i have broken him and ruined many of his dreams. i don't know if i can ever forgive myself for that. i do love him so.

thank you so much for still thinking about my situation. please help me pray we get through this and things start to get better somehow.

just taking it one day at a time...

take care always.

Sophia,

I'm glad to hear from you. I wasn't sure how things were going, and last we had "chatted" on IMs you weren't sure where you would be right now. I hope and pray that the baby is doing well? I will also pray for you and your H's recovery of your M. It's a good thing that he's still around and willing to try to work things out. Keep showing him how much you love him. If he's willing, encourage him to be involved with the baby's care, but if he seems like you are forcing it on him, back off. If your feelings of depression continue, see the doctor. You have two people to worry about now, besides yourself, and you need to be the best possible Sophia you can be right now.

If there is anything at any time, please don't hesitate to either post here, or email me. I'm fairly busy now, and usually can't be "caught" on IM, but if you email a time, and I know we have to figure the difference again;) then I can make the time to chat with you and see what else we can do to rebuild your M.

Keep posting, as I'm sure others would like to hear how you are doing as well.

God Bless