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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 409
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OP
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 409 |
I need advice on how to handle this.
When NC happened about 2years ago, I found out a few months after that she had changed jobs.
Now FWH wants to apply for a job where she is.
He doesn;t know she works there (as far as I know).
Should I tell him. What if he gets it? Am I right to let him know she is there and I don;t want him to take the job when it might be his dream career.
I'm very confused at the moment.
2b
Me: 38 BS
FWH 39
Children 1d (6) twin sons (3)
PA
DDay1 August 2001
Dday2 Sept 2001
Dday3 Oct 2001 Supposed end of PA
Dday4 Jan 2004 Continuation of EA
Dday5 (If it happens there will be no Dday6)
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,620
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,620 |
2BHappy
you already know the answer to this! This is absolutely unacceptable. He should be willing to pick up aluminum cans for a living before subjecting you to his working where the OW works. If he will not agree to forego this stupid idea then you are asking for serious trouble and I highly doubt his committment to having the marriage recover. It's time for those boundaries some talk about. This will, IMO, lead to disasterous results. Stand Up.
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,607
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,607 |
Uhhmmmm,
Not to be disrespectful, but:
Not sure what the dilemma is.
Of course at the very lest
you tell him what you know ......as well as throw in you Don't want him to go there.
This ain't brain surgery.
Unfortunately, there ARE consequences to our actions in Life , and sadly for him ....this is just one of them.
Its ONE Job and One company.
Keep Looking!
In our case,
my W found another job, quite her own and we moved to another state.
As many experts relate ----- stay away from the OP even if it requires Extreme Measures.
So in your case,
simply NOT applying for a job ........seems a very small gesture.
(Yea, you can Spin it any way ya want .......but this is not overly complicated).
He's away from her ........Leave it that way!!
Fooling people is serious business, but when you fool yourself it Becomes Fatal.
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 409
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OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 409 |
Thanks
I think you're right.
I am planning on telling him tonight that I know she works there and see what he says.
He says he's applied for the job out of curiosity and may not get it anyway.
2b
Me: 38 BS
FWH 39
Children 1d (6) twin sons (3)
PA
DDay1 August 2001
Dday2 Sept 2001
Dday3 Oct 2001 Supposed end of PA
Dday4 Jan 2004 Continuation of EA
Dday5 (If it happens there will be no Dday6)
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970 |
2bhappy,
You haven't brought up OW's whereabouts and he will unwittingly step into it if you don't tell?
Rule of Protection...I would tell him, lovingly, calmly.
How has it been recently? How are you doing?
LA
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 409
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OP
Member
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 409 |
he now knows she works there.
On opening the letter, the interview is at a local hotel, not the company premises.
He is going to sleep on it!
Why would he do this? I was epecting a straight out, "there's no way i will go then". How can he even THINK about going? I am gutted.
I feel as if the last 4 years have been wasted.
Maybe he applied because they have been in touch and he didn;t know I knew where she was.
Iam sooooo confused and upset, I don;t know what i'm thinking.
Me: 38 BS
FWH 39
Children 1d (6) twin sons (3)
PA
DDay1 August 2001
Dday2 Sept 2001
Dday3 Oct 2001 Supposed end of PA
Dday4 Jan 2004 Continuation of EA
Dday5 (If it happens there will be no Dday6)
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,620
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,620 |
This I would think is a deal breaker and you may have to tell him that. Let him know that you will work 24/7 to help him find a comparable job opportunity that allows him to make a good living and find enjoyment in what he does, but not at the same place this A partner works.
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