I am a fool. My wife and I were married last may. Before the wedding She made a mistake at work that caused her to go to jail in October. I was devestated and did not know what to do. Because of my poor judgement at the time I allowed myself to have two seperate one night stands. one in August and one in October while she was gone. I am now growing spiritually and have asked God to forgive me and help me be the husband that my wife deserves, but I do not know what to do now. She was just saved and baptized last weekend, but she still does not know about how foolish I was. How can I tell her the truth and cause her to feel the pain I know it will cause. Yet how can I not tell her and try to build a marriage without honesty. Please help me. I know God is has already forgiven me and I know that he is working in my life to become the man he wants me to be, but I can't talk to anyone who knows us here. I am terrified of even my pastor finding out even though I know he will not judge me. I am just so ashamed.

No one has any help?

Work with your pastor on a plan to tell your wife the truth ASAP. She deserves to know right now and your pastor should be able to help.

Dino, there'll be a lot more folks on later in the afternoon. Personally, I don't know what to tell you. You have committed adultery...twice...and you presume God has forgiven you without confessing your deceit to your wife or anyone else. I'm just not too sure about that, but I'll leave the answer to that question to those more versed in the scriptures.

From a purely secular point of view, your shame speaks well of you, but it's not a very productive emotion without action to make matters better. That has to begin with being honest with your wife. You've correctly identified a problem with beginning a marriage under a cloud of dishonesty. Briefly, the guilt will eat you alive. You know what you need to do. Sit down with your pastor and get to work.