Hi every1! Well it has been 10 months since my H's affair. I did not relize so much time has passed (still feels like yesterday). I come in here every so often to see how the people were doing that found out about there spouses affair around the time I did. I hope all are doing well. It saddens me that sooooo many people have to be in here to find guidence in their time of hurt, confusion, anger, hate. love whatever their feeling stage is at their time of finding this site. Don't let what I just said enter your mind the wrong way, what I'm saying is that it is so hard to believe that the one we decided to spend the rest of our lives with could tear our inter being so badley apart. To this day I still feel the emotions I did 10 months ago. I wish the hurt, hate, anger and every other horrible feeling would go away but it is a day to day recovery. I realized there was something not right with my H shortly after we got home from our vacation but did not find out about the affair until a month or so later. It is almost vacation time to Florida again and my H is all excited about going but I on the other hand tense up about it because of all the pain I endured after that vacation last year. Does that sound weird, or has anyone else felt this? I believe the road to recovery is a very hard and painful one but I also believe that it will be worth it at the end. Shortly after the discovery of my H's affair I had "friends" tell me to leave him, that he was not worthy of me and every other bad thing they could say to not help my situation any. And I told them this is my marrige. my family, my life and I will not just walk away without trying first. In my mind if I tried and it did not work, well then and only then could I walk away with my head held high. I also told them until you have walked a mile in my shoes do not judge my decions for my life. They would say that I was being weak. I TOTALLY disagree!!!!! I think anyone who stays w/ their spouse after an affair is the strongest person on earth!! Well needless to say those "friends" ended up walking in my shoes!!! After I found out about my friends' W's affair, all I said to him was "see I am not weak I am strong and now you know what it is to walk in my shoes" and he responded to me with Yes i do and I am sorry for what I said to you. So what I am trying to say to all of you going through this is stay strong you can over come this it will take time and patience but as long as you believe it is worth it, it is, no matter what "friends around you say!!! My blessings are with each and everyone of you!!:)

I agree with you 100%.
At work people just laugh to themselves. Tell me all kinds of crap...once a cheater, alway a cheater, kick him out, there are too many fish in the sea, why waste the effort on a peice of crap, etc.
I tell them, when you walk where I have and can hold your head up high to idiots like you, then you can counsel me.
I had this today, with a 21 year old girl who is dating a guy. I told her, if I were dating, I may have just walked way. I have been married for 17 almost 18 years with 4 beautiful kids. Not something I am willing to just throw away out of anger and hurt. Crap happens, and the tough take it and make it into a beautiful garden. The weak throw it out and step in it. So I told her this, and she just looked at me with her jaw dropping. I said, you are young, I have a book for you to read. It is HNHN and you need to read it before you marry him, because down the road your risks are as great as mine were if you dont follow this.
So I kinda shove it back in thier faces when they do that. But some just dont get it and never will.
JE