Thanks to everyone that replied. This is going to be an ongoing struggle--keeping this feeling/desire for revenge under control. <P>Wexwill, you struck a nerve--if *she* was sorry and expressed it, that would make a difference. I have heard my H. apologize to her boyfriend for the hurt he caused him and that he was ending the relationship. *Her* response was to contact my H. 2 weeks after he ended it and ask him why he had ended the relationship! I really don't think the woman understands all the hurt and pain she has 'helped' cause to other people. There is NO DOUBT that I have what I need to have her fired and yes there are rumors now that she may be involved with the 2nd in command where she works and is spending lots of time with him now. It helps to know that I am not tooo far out there in feeling the desire for revenge.<P>Medic--like Fighter I'm not sure what you were smoking but if 'wishing' something bad to happen to someone means they get it back 3-fold--what do you get back when you actually DO something that hurts someone??? Do you get it back 4-fold? 100-fold? That I would be interested in knowing.<P>Sosad--I hope you read this--I don't agree with not telling the OP spouse or significant other--there are too many health issues involved with affairs this days. I have never resented the OW boyfriend telling me--he just could have done it with some compassion (not showing up at H. place of employment and playing tapes for 200 people to hear and ONLY AFTER calling me up to play them to me) or he could have contact my H. and told him either he had to tell me or he would. <P>To those of you giving advice saying don't do it--I will continue to struggle not to--it is just so hard to control that feeling. I have thought about how I would feel after I had her fired--would it be enough? would I feel guilty? would I just want to hurt her more?<BR>I am very unhappy to say I really don't think that I would feel guilty for getting her fired. Maybe that makes me less of a 'good' person <P>mdj<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by mdj (edited August 19, 1999).]

mdj, just to let you know, I feel reassured that the OW husband was at no risk, as I feel reassured that I am at no risk either - My H reassured me they used condoms every time - he was too scared not to. I believe him, as he is pretty well there with health issues, and I am work in the health care field, so he has been kept pretty well up to date! - even if he only did it for himself!!!

MDJ:<P>She'll get hers one day. Just be patient and DON'T get any revenge that could harm your H as well. Talk about a major lovebuster. If you can get her without hurting H, then go ahead if it makes you feel better. I have a feeling people like that end up doing themselves in.<P>Take my W's OM for instance. Jerk off got fired from his first job. Got fired from the job where he worked with my W (for sleeping with a nurses' aide on the nursing home property), then just lost his job at the new facility he went to. To make matters worse (or better, from my perspective), he got deported back to Canade because he lost his work visa due to "suspicious circumstances" around the disappearance of some drugs at one of the facilities at which he worked.<P>All that and I didn't have to lift a finger. How's THAT for poetic justice?<P>Hang in there!<P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by Lone Star (edited August 20, 1999).]

Gin777 I think you're truely right! It's NOT our right to get revenge (but the desire to do so Can be overwhelming!!) We're really judging a LOT when we get revenge. Gin Hang on tight to God. I know he will see you through.<BR>MDJ Lots of Good luck to you. I agree with Enlightened, what goes around comes around, one way or another!<BR>CA_dreamer, You sound like you're bent on revenge and truely enjoying it all ready. And your making sure you're justified. What's your H looking for that he can't find in you? Spouses need to be treated like royalty, if you can't do that get out!

Sweet revenge. It sounds so tempting. And now that I know my H is gone for good, boy would I love to do something. I have had many fantasys about messing H up, or tormenting her. But they say the best revengs is living well. And thats what I plan on doing. I LIKE my life and I will leave it to a higher power to take care of H and the piece of work he is with.<p>[This message has been edited by Against the Wind (edited August 20, 1999).]