Well, WH is coming tomorrow afternoon to the house, to spend some time w/the kids and he asked if he could stay over tomorrow night, since we're supposed to get snow, etc...and then he would take care of the driveway and all Sunday morning, plus he is taking DS out on Sunday for a couple of events so he figured it would be easiest to stay over & take care of the snow removal for me.

Now, my question to you all is....what is going to be the best way for me to act. I don't know what to do and I am really apprehensive about it since I have kind of gotten used to him not being here. It is going to be SO weird and awkward!!!! The last time he stayed over was on Jan. 19th, I think.

Here's my gameplan:

~Absolutely no arguing...and if he tries to bait me into an argument, I am not taking the bait. Remain calm, cool and collected.

~I am not bringing up anything about our relationship, his relationship w/MOW, no talk of that nature will be coming from my mouth.

~I also am certainly not going to be doing any a$$kissing either. I am in total "backed-off" mode.

~Appear content & as relaxed as I can be.

Any suggestions from anyone? This is going to be so hard. I am sure alot harder on me than him. I am actually dreading it.

TIA!

sounds like you have an awesome plan all on your own.

keep calm, pleasant and smiling...

Good gameplan.

When I went through the same thing I made sure to make my house as comfortable as possible too. Good smells from the kitchen, fire in the fireplace, enjoyable activities for me and the kids.

This isn't a**kissing either. I found that those things were what I wanted anyway and hadn't done for myself in the chaos of fighting the A.

Make a nice dinner and casually invite him to join you.

Have a game night with your older child. Sit on the floor and laugh. Invite WH to join in but don't insist. Let him see what he's missing.

Watch a movie - a nice family movie. Again invite him to join.

Play on the floor with the baby.

The point is to make your home comfortable and inviting and show him what he is and will be missing out on.

You'll find that you'll enjoy your time with the kids and if he wishes to join in great. If not, you've created a great memory for yourself...one that he won't get out of his head any time soon either.

FIM

Thanks <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Most of the stuff you listed, esp. focusing on the kids is what I intend to do anyway. I just figure, I am going to have to do something to keep myself busy and my mind from wandering to places I don't want it to. It is so amazing how backing-off really makes them turn towards you. (I've been, in my mind, backed-off since last Monday.) I am trying not to read into it too much and am still continuing on in the backed-off mode. I honestly don't even have the desire to utter the words "I don't want to give up on US" anymore. The feeling is gone from me. I am so sick of getting slapped in the face every time I say it. I am officially done with that, as of last Monday. This is a new direction and I am not forcing it, it is coming very natural to me now - if it leads us back together, that will be wonderful, but if it doesn't I will be okay with that, too.