Hi,

My W moved out last Sunday into an apartment about a mile away. She had been sleeping in the spare bedroom for months telling me that she had fallen out of love with me. I found out that she had been sleeping with a co-worker for months just a moth ago. She said she confided in him that she was not happy in her marriage and that they were just friends in the beginning but she feels like she loves him now and does not want to give that relationship up right now.

It has been all consuming for me for months. I have dropped 22 pounds and haven't slept 8 hours for months.

It has been unreal. Everyone told me she couldn't be having an A because my wife is so nice. I believed them.

I had a physical affair about 6 years ago that I broke off. I felt terrible about it and we went to MC for it but my W seems to have not forgiven me.

What is odd to me about this is my W does not want a divorce at this time. She also wants to go to MC. We have had problems with intimacy and communicating for years. She tells me she does not have this problem with the OM. She really was/is going to leave me for this OM. She says she is torn but wants to spend time seing if she can do it. She also didn't realize that she was going to miss our son so much and that all our friends and family are against her.

She told our 7 year old son that mommmy is taking a break and will be back.

If she wants to leave me, then leave me! I did a great Plan A for the last 4 months that has just amazed her. She says I am not the same person but stil it is not enough to bring her back.

I have gone into Plan B and have tried to limit any contact which has been very dificult. It's funny, I have nevre been treated so badly by anyone on this earth the past 5 months but I still miss her.

Can people advice me what to do? And what to expect here? When she talks about "love" with the OM I just wnat to give up.

Can someone help me? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

I feel like my mariage is over.

Be patient, the pro's on this forum will steer you in a good direction, just hang on

Mommy is taking a break.

Your WW is teaching your son that when life gets to be so tough that you cannot handle it - you take a break. Not a clever lesson to hand to a child.

You know the drill right? Expose expose expose.

Plan B? Really? Did you give her a letter to indicate such?

It's not a plan B without the letter...the letter explains to her why you're doing what your doing and gives her the map back to the marriage, otherwise it's plan "ignore."

People in a plan B do not attend MC with their spouse while their spouse is involved in an affair. Why don't you spend the money you spend on MC on IC, call the Harleys instead perhaps.

If I sound like I'm being harsh it's because you've asked the same questions before, and received advice, which, by all accounts seems to be ignored by you.

Have you exposed the affair? That is the first step in Plan A. The purpose of Plan A is to end the affair so if you haven't exposed the affair, you haven't done a proper Plan A.

MC is a waste of time if she is in an affair.

It is exposed. She wants it exposed at this point. Everyone is dead set against it but she says she has to do this.

My W knows exactly what I want...there is no questions there. I do also think MC is a waste of time. We are going one more time and then taking a much needed "break" that I suggested. I still don't know why she wants to go to MC...to keep tabs on my feelings?

To whom was the affair exposed and by whom? Is this OM married? Have his parents been notified?

All her friends, her family who have literally dis-owned her and are not speaking to her, some of her co-workers...you have to understand, she wants it exposed. In her mind it is not an A! This was her escape out of the marriage. She is having second thoughts because I went to IC and dealt with many of my LB issues. I also told her what I feel about her and how much the marriage means to me. She also did not anticpate her feelinfgs about leaving our 7 year old son 4 days a week.

The OM is a single 35 year man (my W is 40). He broke up with his girlfriend to be with my W. I don't know anything about him or where he lifes. He is in a town an hour away.