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So, anyone have gut instincts and be completely off-base? Or is there always a basis for the gut instinct and should be investigated further??
Not sure if I am just paranoid or right on target with the signals my mind is giving to me.
Thanks for any input.
Emma
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Unfortunately, our instincts are usually right on. I would have to write a book to explain all of the things that happened in our marriage that gave me a bad feeling.
Once I figured out that he was having an affair, it all made perfect sense.
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I have yet to see anybody here say something like, "My gut was screaming but it turned out to be all wrong and there was nothing happening."
I agree with believer. Listen to your instincts.
Mulan
Me, BW
WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.
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The wise Ann Landers said many,many years ago.... If you think he is cheating, he probably is !!
True Believer, once you get the gut instinct, you start adding it all up... and then it is your whole body screaming at you... esp your heart.
Keep posting and could you tell us some more about yourself.
My very best to you - carnation
Me - BS 55
WH/FWH 50
OW 30
Much evidence says that my H was/is
deeply involved in a very long term PA
Prolly will never know much more than that
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Depends on how mentally stable the person is.
Two years ago, for me I would constantly be thinking something was up when there was no problem and while doing so causing her constant pain with my mistrust.
But now they might be a bit more accurate since i've done some work on myself.
So really t he answer to your question is: Depends on how you were raised.
The advice given is not that of a professional and may be in conflict with Marriage Builders.
The advice is of high quality however.
I can give best insight when the relationship in question is that of two people and one God.
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So, anyone have gut instincts and be completely off-base? Or is there always a basis for the gut instinct and should be investigated further??
Not sure if I am just paranoid or right on target with the signals my mind is giving to me.
Thanks for any input.
Emma Emma, trust your instincts! They will not lead you wrong. While instincts alone cannot be acted upon, I learned the hard way to heed them and investigate what is behind them. Mine ARE ALWAYS RIGHT and I learned this the HARD WAY. I used to dismiss them as nothing more as silly superstition, but learned the hard way, that they are almost always right. Ignore them at your peril.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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the misinformation on this board is ridiculous.
The advice given is not that of a professional and may be in conflict with Marriage Builders.
The advice is of high quality however.
I can give best insight when the relationship in question is that of two people and one God.
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the misinformation on this board is ridiculous. Funny, I have noticed others saying the same thing about your posts.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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You are crazy, you are almost fifty years old and you're trying to attack some guy on the internet who you shouldn't even be caring about. If anything why aren't you trying to help me if you find my ideas so twisted? Why are you so angry?
The advice given is not that of a professional and may be in conflict with Marriage Builders.
The advice is of high quality however.
I can give best insight when the relationship in question is that of two people and one God.
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Shadpoo, the issue is that the misinformation you are spreading is dangerous to people who come here seeking advice. It would be better off spread on your garden
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Shadpoo why don't you tell us why you were here. We can't help you if all you do is contradict the MB principles and the people who post them.
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Methinks this kid is a troll and I have notified the mods.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Gut instincts aren't always 100% accurate. In rare cases, there is a psychological condition called Romantic Jealousy, aka Delusional Jealousy. Here's a link for an article at medicinenet.com, but if it doesn't work you can 'google' for it: http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=34554
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Dad an alcoholic? Parents divorced when you were young? Dad went off to war? Mom or dad had an affair? One of your parents die when you were young? These things can really mess up your "instincts".
Last edited by shadpoo; 02/12/06 08:19 PM.
The advice given is not that of a professional and may be in conflict with Marriage Builders.
The advice is of high quality however.
I can give best insight when the relationship in question is that of two people and one God.
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What's your point there, POO??
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Poo's point is that these things happen to alot of people, so alot of people's gut instincts are not accurate.
This isn't speculation, I've read this countless times in book after book after book.
The advice given is not that of a professional and may be in conflict with Marriage Builders.
The advice is of high quality however.
I can give best insight when the relationship in question is that of two people and one God.
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Poo's point is that these things happen to alot of people, so alot of people's gut instincts are not accurate.
This isn't speculation, I've read this countless times in book after book after book. But that is anecdotal information that is easily refuted by another anecdote. Alot of people's instincts ARE accurate. Many consider them a gift from God, and I happen to agree. Animals would not survive without them, so it is not hard to accept that he also ingrained mankind with a similar system to aide their ability to reason.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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OK..here's my mantra..
If it looks like crap
if it sounds like crap
if it smells like crap
IT IS CRAP
That's trusting more than my guts. If I had trusted my guts I could addressed many of the issues I have gone through in the last few years many years ago.
However, there's a large part of me that trusts my gut about what point you're trying to make...
For instance...my xw accused me of having over 20 adultrous affairs throughout our previous marriage. She was CERTAIN of it...and she was wrong..way wrong...I never had an affair.
I accused my xw ONCE....and I was dead nuts on...
So no matter how many books you read....I'm trusting mine....I could care less what you do...
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But that is anecdotal information that is easily refuted by another anecdote. Alot of people's instincts ARE accurate. Many consider them a gift from God, and I happen to agree. Animals would not survive without them, so it is not hard to accept that he also ingrained mankind with a similar system to aide their ability to reason. People's instincts are quite a bit different from animal's if you'll study a little psychology. And yes, alot of people's instincts are spot on, what would you say? 75%? I have to say at least 30% are way off mark. So with at least 30% being incorrect. I would have to say that indicates that instincts are not always accurate.
The advice given is not that of a professional and may be in conflict with Marriage Builders.
The advice is of high quality however.
I can give best insight when the relationship in question is that of two people and one God.
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However, there's a large part of me that trusts my gut about what point you're trying to make...
For instance...my xw accused me of having over 20 adultrous affairs throughout our previous marriage. She was CERTAIN of it...and she was wrong..way wrong...I never had an affair.
I accused my xw ONCE....and I was dead nuts on...
So no matter how many books you read....I'm trusting mine....I could care less what you do... awesome! Yours are tried and true. Your xw's.. not so great.
The advice given is not that of a professional and may be in conflict with Marriage Builders.
The advice is of high quality however.
I can give best insight when the relationship in question is that of two people and one God.
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