Looking for some words of wisdom or sugestions here. WW and I are in the midst of a D but WW isn't sure if she really wants it. I filed although I really want to work things out. Anyway, up until the middle of Jan 06, it was an EA going on since June 05. OM is 2000 miles away and came to meet her so it's now a PA.

She is really confused and in a total fog. She really doesn't know what she wants.

I am planning on taking the kids on a trip over the spring break. I am feeling she will take advantage of this and go to visit with OM. Not sure how to derail it, I'm thinking of telling her closest friends to get her to commit to some dinner dates and such. I'm really at a loss here, I want this to work out but if she perpetuates this PA, I don't know how much longer I can hold on. The EA was hard enough to deal with....

What shoud I do?!?!?

Anyone??

If you have done a good Plan A, have you thought about Plan B?

Plan B's only purpose is for fence sitting, cake eaters.

The golden rule of MB is you can NOT repair a M with an ongoing A. Neither EA nor PA.

Are you just in the beginings of plan A...

plan A is ALL about contact with the OP...doing your part to NOT be part of it...

ARK

Did you expose the affair? Who is this OM? Is he married?

In addition to answering the exposure questions.....,


Sounds like neither of you knows what you want. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Seriously, do you or do you not want a divorce?

Was there a legal reason to file? i.e., in some US states you have to file to get financial division of assets because there is no provision for a legal separation.

If you don't really want a divorce and no legal reasons exist to do it, what did you hope to accomplish?

This is not a trick question. We operate on very simple logic here. One example is, "Don't file for divorce unless you want one."


She can't/won't join you?

Before OM came to visit, had they never met? Did this start as an on-line affair?

Thank you for the replies. Just to help put things in context, here is the story from th beginning:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/showflat.php?Cat=0&Board=UBB37&Number=2933267

I filed for divorce as a knee jerk reaction. I was in survival mode when I discovered what was going on and was acting on gut feelings. I made a mistake. I think WW truly believes this and that is why she has voiced second thoughts about the D.

The trip was planned before her second thoughts and the D was in full procession. I asked her today is she would come, she said it was OK, just go as planned, she said that the destination wasn't somewhere she would like to go anyway (this is true regardless of the situation).

I then took advantage of the conversation and asked her if she would rather go the California (the place where the OM lives) she said a sarcastic "maybe". I then told her all kidding aside, if she went to California, I would take that as her making her choice which she replied "I understand that completely" so, it seems we do have some level of comprehension and regard for the situation.

Thanks again to all for your support. This is really a day by day situation and I need all the help and support I can get.