You're right. I know that she spies on me a bit, and in a 'round about way she even asked me if I was up to anything. She looked worried so I looked her straight in the eye and I told her truthfully that I had been a good boy (the A word wasn't used but it was clearly conveyed, whatever the exact words were).

I really did not mind that she asked, on reflection, and I do not mind if she snoops around what I am doing. I am actually kind of touched, in a strange way, by it.

Do you folks think that is a normal reaction (mine) of an innocent spouse - to not think too much of the suggestion of infidelity or even snooping; maybe even feel reassured that the person cares enough to want to know?

If so, then I think my stated concerns both about snooping and about talking to her are attempts to paper over my fear of what I might (and I still think MIGHT is the operative word here, and that does make it harder) uncover.

Pelonious, do you have access to her email accounts and passwords? Because IMO, if you do not, there very well may be something hidden. Just the fact that she deletes the history is suspicious, IMO. The history on my computer hangs out for a loooong time. Now, I am not saying she is having an A, mind you. I am not a psychic. No one on this forum can tell you anything for sure.

But! I base my opinion ONLY on my own actions, and the actions of others I know. My H and I have had each others passwords for years now - and I have only one email account. When I was in my A, I changed my password all the time, and no one had it. My H never thought to wonder why a few years ago I suddenly wanted him to know all my password, voice mail code, etc. Basically, I wanted to cut off my own ability to keep things secret. It was my deal with myself.

Right now, each of you is suspicious of the other - that cannot be pleasant. Open up to each other - totally.

I must chime in here. I delete my history because most of the sites I go to are Marriage Builder sites and I do not want my kids to know that their dad has probably cheated. I do leave on all the boring stuff. Ebay, yahoo, etc. But I know from having spy ware my WH checks my history and my email accts. And like you Pelonious I do not mind. Check away I am not doing anything wrong. You think he would get bored reading all of my Spam I get. At least he deletes it when he is done.

I have been deleting mine for similar reasons - I haven't cheated but with all the surfing on the net I have done about spousal infidelity my wife might think I had if she saw my cache.

And you know what, as I type this I think that I would probably quickly shut down my computer in mid-sentence if I heard her coming upstairs.

Wouldn't that look suspicious?

So like another poster said, there are all these secrets between us both ways. She may be doing no more than me - surfing the web for answers to questions that are bothering her, afraid to let me know what she's doing because I might misconstrue what she is doing.

I have to say, I've gotan ethical problem with Spyware. There are levels of intrusiveness and mistrust. At this point I really do not have any facts. And very few of the suspicious criteria that normally exist seem to be evident.

Regarding her need for privacy and space, that is 15 years old. I have always respected it, and until now trusted her with it. I think I would like to change the groundrules, but slowly.

That's why I started this thread asking about whether we should talk it out. Maybe if I talked to my wife not about affairs but about trust and privacy issues and how her need for privacy bordering on secrecy makes me anxious. I could keep my ultimate fear hidden, for now, so that the option of snooping isn't closed by her hiding her tracks if she senses I know something (all of which assumes something is going on, which may just be paranoia).

Very good idea, newbie. I will tell you that if she is or has been wayward your "intuition" will be further peaked by this conversation which will give you all the more reason to snoop. Waywards will vehementally oppose any and all conversation or suggestions that will appear to impose on their affair. They will use any tactic to maintain the status quo or better. Even if that means coddling you, ignoring the question, changing subjects, anger, disappointment, whatever to get off this subject. Watch her reactions carefully.

This is one of the reasons I suggest His Needs/Her needs on CD because it broaches the discussion about being an open and honest and not maintaining secrets. So you don't have to bring directly and perhaps obviously. You can also pause the CD and then discuss your feelings about her demanding or requiring privacy, perhaps to the detriment of your marriage...etc.

However, if your intuition goes off you'll likely have to do more serious snooping as now she may be tipped off and may not be as flipant and more careful with her computer use and telephone conversations. But from what you've posted, your idea appears a good alternative.

Good luck,

Mr. Wondering

Thank you, Mr. Wondering.

Again getting back to my original post, what do you (or anybody else) think about my idea of a moratorium for about a month?

I do not sense anything going on right now, and quite frankly my wife and I are both exhausted from all the talk, and sex, and emotions we have stirred up in trying to get things back on track. We are also both busy professional with 3 boys, aged 3, 6 and 9, who need attention.

Thanks for the support and insights, all of you, by the way,

Pelonious

Sure...it's your life and you have a better indication of timing than I or anyone else here. Besides if you order the book HNHN on CD it will take a few days to arrive and then you need a road trip with just you and wifeypoo in the car (no kids) to listen to it together. That automatically gives you some time. You could lay some ground work over the next few days or weeks indicating you found this site (the main site - don't mention the boards) which you really like for developing a better marriage. The mention you ordered the book. Interestingly enough, the books description really doesn't indicate it discusses infidelity but the first few chapters really hit the subject strongly. You also have deniability...as you just ordered a book based upon the website being so good and the principles very strong seeming for making a better marriage...you had no idea it would discuss infidelity to such extreme. I hope you see what I mean.

Good luck and I hope I don't see you back here with bad news ever.

Mr. Wondering

p.s.- the book is cheaper and may be available in the library but the CD is just so much better because it allows you to pause and immediately address concerns in your marriage contemporaneously as you listen to the book.

Pel...

When my xw told me of her affair, years after it ended, years after we actually divorced....I knew...I WAS right! I told her exactly when it started...and I let her and my ambivilance talk m eout of it. So much so that I was shocked when she fessed up....because I heard rumors...and it would be a barrier to reconciliation..

So...if I ever get to the spot you're at I would find out and not apologize for one minute for doing it.

And one more thing sir, you do want to know...trust me

Dolls, dolls, and more dolls, all on ebay. Our house is filled with dolls, too. That's what I found in the temporary internet files folder. W collects dolls. They are all over the house. They are quite nice, too.

I have kidded W about her hobby and it is clear she is self conscious about it. It may be that she just does not want me to know how much time (and $) she spends on it.

Of course, she might still be up to something via e-mail, but deleting history has nothing to do with e-mail and I think she knows that.

Enough snooping. No spying. There is just not enough corroboration for my intuition for me to get computer spyware; I find that kind of thing just way to intrusive, possibly illegal, even, and I would need way more than what I have got before I try it.

Especially since things are going much better between us.

Time for the moratorium to begin. Then, maybe in a month, I'll do the little talk about secrecy and trust. And if the reaction is wierd, I'll revisit the idea of Spyware then. In the meantime there's lots of work, driving kids to school and daycare, grocery shopping, and stuff like that to keep us both out of trouble, especially now that we are reconnecting.

I actually purchased the spy ware to check what my kids were doing not my H. Because never in a million years would I have thought he would have an A. This man would actually freak out if a girl talked to him and I was there. He was always explaining. And it had been that way for years. Then the dreaded MLC and he was different. But the spyware was for my kids protection. But happened upon a secret email acct that he talked to OW on. I still have no proof that it was a PA and he swears it wasn't, but to me the EA hurt way more. She was meeting EN's that I couldn't because by the time he came home he was talked out.

If your R is getting back on track then I wouldn't worry to much about the deleting of history. I buy stuff on ebay and I don't want him to know that either. Mostly R books. Good Place to go for those. I alway check them out at the library first then order them on ebay if I like what they are saying.

One good program that i found which was cassettes was Light his Fire/Light Her Fire. Not all about R talks about how to treat everyone in your life. Focus on M, but I loved it. Just wish I could get my H to listen to them. I gave them to him in November and they are still sitting in the same place he put them. I even told him it might help him to deal with the kids more effectively. Damn MLC. He just lost to us right now. I hope he wakes up soon before it is too late. My love is waning.

Good Luck to you and your W. You sound like you are on your way.

On my way but the secrecy still bugs me and keeps me suspicious.

Felt a little relieved when I read a post on another thread here somewhere that an ongoing A is like a huge black hole that distorts all efforts to build up your account in S's love bank. Whatever you do won't be good enough until the A is truly over.

In my case, there appears to be a great response from W to my daily efforts to meet her ENs. She has gone to great lengths, actually, to respond in kind, and the only EN not being met now (if it can be called an EN at all) is my EN to relieve this still gnawing feeling I have that something is being kept from me.

That being said, my question for anybody still looking at this post is this: Whether or not there was an A, is it likely that a spouse would be making such truly sincere and strenuous efforts at rebuilding a marriage that has drifted if the A is still going on?

The point of the question is this: If there was an A in the past that has ended, I will want to know in the future, but it probably be counterproductive if I knew right now. If it is going on right now, though, I want to know right now.

Catch the dilemma?

Yes Pelonious they would.

I was one of those. But my husband also had that nagging feeling something wasn't right...OM and his wife were good freinds of ours. I actually did more for my husband, and we had more sex during the time of my affair - HOWEVER - I also acted VERY different. which is why my H suspected - i really was a different person despite doing things for my H. I was more flirty, more sexual, more interested in going out and partying with our friends...

Is your wife different that you remember her always being...

My worry is - you contemplated an A - which means you yourself were in a different frame of mind for a bit (whether you realize it or not). When in that frame of mind - most of us do get suspicious of our spouse for actions that we know we did ourselves.

But that doesn't make you wrong. While during and just after my A, I thought my H was hiding things...when his affair actually took place 7 months later...he DID become a different person.

It is not counterproductive to know now...if it had ended. Why? because it would be more productive in letting you have those feelings die, and start the healing.

Can I ask you something? Does SHE know you almost had an affair???

If you expect honesty and openness from your spouse, you must be willing to be honest and open.

Neither of you are doing this...these are not valid reasons for doing what you are doing.

Children should not have access to your account...you need to fix this.

Bottom line...in marriage, your privacy is a privilege extended by your spouse. You may negotiate a level of privacy with your spouse, but they have every right to "trust but verify".

You wife's "private" behavior is unacceptable. If she is not willing to allow you access to anything and everything (including diaries and journals), then there's something seriously wrong.

I was a FWH...I welcomed every opportunity she offered to show her my openness. She had access to every message account I did. I had access to ALL of her stuff as well.
You see, I had abused my privacy privileges and deserved to have them revoked.

Towards the end, she stopped checking my stuff as often just because it was so BORING...but it helped her to know that she could if she wanted to.

LO is bang on Pelonious...it's why I asked if she knows about your "almost" affair...and if it was an emotional attachment to someone - it was an affair, not an almost affair - even if it was online...

Yes, because keeping you secure keeps you from poking around the affair.

I did exactly this. I was a model, loving H DURING my A.

No affair ... but

There was a person at work whom I found attractive and there seemed to be some kind of chemistry during the brief encounters we had at social functions. I fantasized about her on a fairly regular basis and there was a period of a few weeks in which I probably would have become a WH had an opportunity presented itself. I did not actively take steps in that direction but I think if she had initiated them I would have let something happened.

At around the same time, my wife drifted even farther from me than the chronic drift that had already taken place in our relationship and I reacted with anger, which led to even greater distance. (We have talked about this, in fact: She said that she could not handle my increasing anger about stupid little things and just ended up disengaging. I am sure that that is at least partly true and I believe it may even be WHOLLY true.)

Eventually I snapped out of it, partly because I felt guilty and concerned about the danger of what I was doing, partly because I realized that the only person in the world I really wanted to have an "love affair" with was my wife.

Hence my difficulty with separating intuitive feelings about my wife having done something inappropriate with feelings of guilt that I have for even thinking of putting my wife and my 3 little boys - not to mention myself - in jeopardy.

There are clearly terrible trust issues between us that need to be resolved and I think they DO involve me coming clean about whatever it was I was going through. But I am not even sure how to characterize my "almost" A, if even as that - on paper it looks tame compared to all the other stuff I have seen on this website since first coming here.

I DO know that if she knew about what I was feeling, and let her know that I was letting those feelings develop, even if I did not act on them, it would have hurt her. Does that make it an A of some sort? Does that require full disclosure? If so, when?

Damned if I know.

it doesn't make it an A - but I would tell her.

I would say - the reason why I have been so worried about our marriage is I found myself in a position that could have led to an affair and it scared me.

Let her know you want to start this marriage recovery off with honesty and transparency and you want to let her know this. Also let her know you have been reading online about MB, and other things because your marriage means the world to you and you WANT her to be a part of making the marriage better.

You can't expect her to be open and honest if you arent....

My wife came from a family where her father had a series of blatant affairs throughout his marriage and it eventually destroyed the marriage with all that entails.

She has told me a number of times she picked me as a husband because she knew I would not do that - I guess she was probably right.

Anyway, I know that when I tell her about this, she will hear it in the most negative way - she will see her father in me, no matter what I say. She may not even believe me. Before I can tell her, then, I think I need to know that she feels safe and will be ready to hear it. I do not think she is right now because all the relationship "work" that we have been doing has really rattled both of us, but I also understand that I cannot put it off forever, otherwise another 15 years will go by and we will drift apart again, and the issue won't be one of "suspected" and "contemplated" A's but undeniable A's that are staring us right in the face.

Back to what I said before, above: I think I should set aside our next "big talk" for a month or so (now 3 1/2 weeks, I guess).

If any of you think this unwise, I do not mind you saying so - all of your advice, whether I agree with it or not, is very much appreciated. Thank you all.

Pelonious - you are making excuses and justifications.

SHE WILL BE HURT YES - she will see it negatively YES. You are right.

Hey my husband a week before d-day STILL told me if I ever had an affair he would leave me and take the kids. Swore up and down. And in recovery kept reminding me he chose ME as he thought I would never do this to him.

But here we are - after a hard 14 months of recovery and we are 90% of the way there...and our marriage is good _ i am still struggling with my own things that color the marriage sometimes - but compared to us before -things are that much better.

Listen - she will NEVER be ready to hear it. If you use that excuse over and over - you will never tell her. I am serious. And the longer you wait - the harder it will be for her to hear it - why didn't you tell me then?

Show her you want to do this RIGHT. And tell her that - that you want the rest of your marriage to be GOOD and full of life and love, and you know you need to start that RIGHT.

I held of telling my H I was uphappy over and over and over cause I was scared of his reaction, never thought it was the right time, etc until I ended up so under I DID end up in affair.

And you know what - YOU DIDN"T have an affair - it was close - but when push came to shove you didn't follow through. And you are right - she may not believe you. But you need to get through that with her.

And you never know - if she has had one, she may take that opportunity to open up to you.

BUT how can you expect honesty and openess and non-secrecy from her when you are doing the exact same thing...think about that...

For your own frame of reference Pelonious I thought I refer you to the 15 steps to infidelity so you can better guage at what step you were at and perhaps express the same to your wife. I borrowed this excert from a post by TooSoontobecomfortable:

[color:"blue"] TOOSOONS - 15 STEPS TO INFIDELITY

I borrowed this from another Web Site on Infidelity. It sounded like the steps my FWW described to me as she explained her affair to me.

-----------------------------

This was a handout for a church group (the statistics are almost identical for church and non-church members when it comes to adultery and divorce) but it does a good job of defining how affairs develop for far too many people. The progression from friend to sexual intimacy and betrayal. It is provided in the hope that it will help newcomers to the forum gain some understanding of what has happened and how it could or might have happened.

Anatomy of Adultery
15 Steps of Unfaithfulness

How does adultery "happen?" People don't just decide one day to hop in bed and be unfaithful to their spouse. Adultery is the culminating act of a dozen or more tiny steps of unfaithfulness. Each step in itself does not seem that serious or much beyond the previous step. Satan draws a person into adultery one tiny step at a time. And he does this over time so that our conscience is gradually seared. This makes it easier to take "just one more step" thinking such a tiny step won't hurt us.

The following "15 steps" which analyze how adultery "happens" are based on scores of interviews, counseling, and correspondence with church folk who fell into unfaithfulness. Our question: "How did this happen... what were the tiny steps which led to this mess?" While the order varied from case to case, the following is the general progression which surfaced in most incidents. This is not some sort of theoretical list. These are the actual steps taken by scores of church people who wound up committing adultery and regretting it later. Some of these people sobbed deeply as they shared, hoping that their own pain and failure might save other marriages. This information comes to you at great expense.

This chapter doesn't have any preaching or analysis... that is left to you. Here we offer you cold word-for-word quotes. You and your Sunday School class can draw out the lessons. How did these lives get ruined? How does it start?


1. Sharing Common Interests.
"We just had so much in common, it was uncanny."

"She and I both enjoyed music, and we were attracted to each other."

"He was so spiritually-minded... I'd been looking for someone to share my spiritual struggles with."

"We both loved horses, and started riding together."

"We both shared a burden for the church and especially children's work."

"She was the first woman I'd ever met who liked the outdoors, even hunting and fishing -- I was fascinated!"


2. Mentally comparing with my mate.
"My husband wasn't interested much in spiritual things, but this man knew so much about the Bible."

"She was slim, attractive, and dressed sharp -- quite a difference from my wife who didn't take care of herself much at that time."

"She was so understanding and would listen to me and my hurts -- my wife was always so busy and rushed that we didn't have the time to talk.

"My husband just would never communicate -- he'd come home from work and just sit there watching TV. I finally gave up on him. Then this man came along who was worlds apart from my husband -- he was gentile, loved to talk, and would just share little things about his life with me."


3. Meeting emotional needs.
"He understood how I was feeling and offered me the empathy I was hungering for."

"She was there when I needed her."

"My ego was so starved for affirmation that I would have taken it from anyone -- I guess that's what started the whole thing."

"No one had ever really believed in me until he came along. He encouraged me, inspired me, and believed so deeply in what I could become."

"My wife was busy with the kids and not at all involved with my work. This girl admired me and treated me like I was really somebody. It felt so good."


4. Looking forward to being together.
"I used to dread going to work, but after we started our friendship, I would wake up thinking of how I would see him later that day... it seemed to make getting up easier."

"I would think of being with her the whole time I was driving to work."

"I found myself thinking of him as I got dressed each morning, wondering how he would like a certain outfit or perfume."

"I looked forward to choir practice every week because I knew he would be there."

"Every time I drove by her house I would think of her and how we'd see each other that Sunday."


5. Tinges of dishonesty with my mate.
"When my wife would ask if she was with the group I'd pretend I couldn't remember... right there I started building a wall between us."

"I would act like I was going to practice with our ensemble, but actually I was practicing a duet with him."

"Once my wife asked about her, but I denied everything, after all, we hadn't done anything wrong yet. Now I see that this was one of those exit points where I could have come clean and got off the road I was speeding down."

"Whenever we got together as couples I would act like I didn't care about him, and afterward I would even criticize him to my husband. I guess I was trying to hide my real feelings from my husband."


6. Flirting and teasing.
"I could tell from the way she looked at me. She would gaze directly into my eyes, then furtively glance down my body then back into my eyes again -- I knew then that she was interested in more than my friendship. But, I was so flattered by her interest that I couldn't escape."

"Then we started teasing each other, often with double-meaning kind of things. Sometimes we'd tease each other even when we were together as two couples. It seemed innocent enough at first, but more and more we knew it really did mean something to us."

"We would laugh and talk about how it seemed like we were "made for each other" so much. Then we'd tease each other about what kind of husband or wife the other one would have been if we'd married each other."

"He had those killer eyes. When he'd look at me in that "special way" I would just melt. It was hopeless fighting my urges -- he had me."


7. Talking about personal matters.
"We would talk about things -- not big things, just little things which he cared about, or I was worried about."

"We'd meet together for coffee before church and just talk together."

"I was having problems with my son and she seemed to understand the whole situation so much better than anyone else I talked with. I'd tell her about the most recent blow-up and she would understand so well. We just became really deep friends -- almost soul-mates. That's what's so weird about all this -- we never intended for it to go this far."

"I had lost my Dad just before we got to know each other and he had lost his mother a few years earlier. He seemed to understand exactly what I was going through and we would talk for hours about how each of us felt."

"I was so lonely since my husband died and hungry for someone to share life with. Then he began to call just because he cared. I loved hearing his caring voice at the other end of the line, even though I knew he was married."

"We spent so much time together at work that I swear she knew more about me than my wife ever did -- or even cared to know."


8. Minor yet arousing touch, squeeze, or hug.
"He never touched me for months. Then one night after working late, we were walking toward the door when he said 'You're so special, thanks for all you do..." then he turned and hugged me tenderly, just for a second. I loved how I felt for that moment so much that I began to replay it over and over again in my mind like a videotape. Now I know that I should have stopped it all right then. I never intended to ruin my family like this."

"She was always hanging around our house and was my wife's best friend. Often she would stay late to watch TV, even after my wife went to bed. She would sit beside me on the couch and I was drawn to her like the song says... like a moth to the flame."

"He would often pat me on the shoulder -- you know, in appreciation for a good job I'd done. But I knew it meant more than that."

"The first time she touched me was when we were doing registration together. We were sitting beside each other. I'd say something cute or funny and she would giggle, then under the table she'd squeeze the top of my leg with her hand. That was really exciting to me."

"Every time she shook hands with me at the door she seemed to linger, sort of holding my hand more than shaking it. No one else would notice, but I knew there was more to her touch than appeared to the eyes. She knew too."


9. Special notes or gifts.
"He would write these little encouraging notes and leave them in my desk, pocketbook, or taped to my computer. They didn't say anything which could be traced. If anyone found them they wouldn't suspect anything. But we both knew what was going on, we just didn't want to stop yet."

"I would sometimes call him and leave a short message on his answering machine. He would leave little notes in my Bible."

"He would buy me a little gift -- not that expensive, but it always showed he had taken extra thought to get exactly what I liked. Of course everyone else thought he was just being a good boss."

"She started leaving unsigned notes to me in my desk sharing her feelings for me. It scared me at first, because I thought someone would find one. But after a while I found myself looking forward to the next one, even though I knew the risk."


10. Inventing excuses to call or meet.
"I started figuring out ways I could drop off something at her house when her husband was gone. He and I knew each other and I would always return borrowed tools in the afternoon when I knew she'd be there alone."

"I would wait until the end of the workday then I'd call him just before closing time about something I'd made up as a 'business question' and we'd talk."

"The more entangled we got, the more I planned times where he and I could practice together. We started meeting more often."

"She started arranging her schedule so that her husband dropped her off at committee meetings. I would hang around and offer to take her home, acting with as much nonchalance as I could muster up."


11. Arranging secret meetings.
"By now we both were so far gone that we started meeting secretly at the mall parking lot. It know now how foolish this was, but I was driven by something other than good sense at that time."

"We started arranging to work evenings on the same nights, then we would leave early and meet each other in the dark parking lot."

"I started making sure he knew my travel schedule so we could attend the same conferences. We still weren't involved physically at that time, but there was such excitement and romance to it all... even the secrecy seemed to make it more exciting."

"She would sometimes call me just before lunch and we'd sneak through a drive-up together, and then spend the rest of my lunch hour talking quietly to each other."


12. Deceit and cover ups.
"Once we were meeting secretly I had to invent all kinds of stories about where I'd been to satisfy my wife. By now I had built a towering wall of dishonesty between us."

"Pretty soon my whole life was full of lies. I'd lie about where I was going, where I'd been, and who I'd been with. The more suspicious my husband got, the better liar I became. But he knew something was going on. It's hard to lie without people suspecting it."

"I joined several groups so that I would have an excuse to be away in the evenings."

"She would ask when I'd gotten off work. I'd simply lie about it, and she never knew what hit her. How can I ever regain her trust now?"

"We agreed that if anyone saw us driving around we would both tell the same story: that my car wouldn't start, he stopped to help, an we were going together to get a new fuse to replace the broken one he'd discovered."

"By now my whole life was a lie, so I began telling them regularly to cover up our little meetings."


13. Kissing and embracing.
"The whole thing seemed so exciting by now. I was such a fool. We were meeting secretly and both of us were fearful of being caught. But that only seemed to increase our common ground. When we'd meet, we would embrace as if we'd not been together for years -- like in the movies when someone comes home from the war."

"Once we started meeting secretly the end came fast. We kissed and hugged like two teenagers going parking for their first time."

"It just felt so good to be hugged and loved by somebody who really cared about me."


14. Petting and high indiscretion.
"At this point my glands took over. I forgot reason altogether and was willing to risk everything for more."

"It was like I was a teenager again -- going too far, then repenting and promising to do better; then just as quick I was hungrily seeking more sin."

"When my husband and I were dating we struggled with 'how far to go.' Well, here I was again struggling over the same issue. Friendship with this guy didn't seem so wrong. But now were we're going further than I ever intended. But, I felt curiously justified going exactly as far as I had with my husband when had been dating. In a way, I think some of my resentment against my husband's constant pressure on me started coming out. I'm not saying that it wasn't wrong. Just that I kind of felt justified."

"At about this time I began fooling myself into thinking I was heroic for not going "all the way." That's what I wanted to do. But by doing "everything but" I fooled myself into thinking I was successfully resisting temptation. What I didn't realize was that, not only was what I was doing wrong, but that eventually I would take the next step. It's just not possible to freeze a relationship -- you have to go ahead with it, or break it off totally."


15. Sexual intercourse.
"Soon I quit resisting and was swept into outright adultery."

"One thing led to another and finally we ended up in bed with each other."

"Though we never intended it to go that far, we eventually went all the way and had sex."

"One night we couldn't seem to stop ourselves (at least we didn't want to) so I completed my journey of unfaithfulness to my husband -- I had sex with this man."
_________________________[/color]

Hope this helps.

Mr. Wondering