Last 2 days have been a mess H and I have ben fighting I meaning fighting This rape trial has torn up my home and I have no one to talk to and I leave wednesday I am shaking and scared and We have been at each others thoats all day. My family won't talk to me and my H won't talk to me and to make things worst I found a pair of pants in my house the belong to no one that lives here and they belong to a woman but he said they are his I know what clothes he has and those I never saw before and he pushed me today because I told him he was lying. please someone talk to me.

LadyC, take a deep breath. You have plenty of time to deal with this.

Can you tell more about the rape trial, or post a link if you've spoken of it somewhere else?

You certainly have grounds for suspicion, and will need to find out what's going on, but in the meantime calm down. He will let his guard down more if you do not let on how suspicious you are.

Have you had a chance to read the articles here on Plan A and Plan B? If it is an affair you are dealing with here, the information will be a lifesaver. I know it's hard with everything going on, but just back off a bit and be pleasant. Then spy your little behind off till you find out for sure what's going on.

Be sure you ask for more help if you find something, so you can get some awesome pointers on loving confrontation.

You are not crazy. Unless your husband is a cross-dresser (unlikely), it sounds like he is trying to hide something, and you can't deal with it till you know what it is.

The post is in here somewhere for the rape I think it is like 3 or 4 pages back I just can't breathe I am so scareed and cold and lost how could he turn on me now I need him! and then he lied and told his family that I said I didn't want him there.

Wow, that is a lot to go through.

Believer is right, and you need to focus on yourself and the trial first.

After that, there will still be plenty of time to find out anything you need to know - there are red flags that need to be investigated, but that doesn't automatically mean an affair; it just needs to be checked out when you are able.

It is too bad your H is not taking advantage of the opportunities to support you, but you can still find support in other places. (Like here.)

I have to go finish getting ready for a trip, but I will say a prayer for you tonight. Feel free to hang out on Idiotville if the night crew is slow in chatting here. There's almost always an Idiot or two around. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Please take good care of yourself, and listen to Believer (she's always right <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />).

Thank you for everything and have a safe trip

YOU WILL MAKE IT.

ONE STEP FORWARD AT A TIME

NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS.

IT WILL ALL HAPPEN EXACTLY AS GOD INTENDED ANYWAY, GIVE IT TO HIM AND AWAIT HIS ANSWER.

Peace and Prayers,

Mr. Wondering

Thank you I am going to do some bible study in a little bit to try to calm down