Wondering if you are still around and whether you've decided to give your marriage another try.

Hope your H is going above and beyond for you today! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Em

I'm still here - lurking more than anything these days.

I have been giving recovery a chance and so far I am glad. WH continues to seem remorseful, attentive, and is trying to meet my needs. We have been attending marriage counseling and he has willingly done everything asked of him.

At this point, the problem (if there is one) is more me than anything. I am still reserved and I feel like I am holding back my emotions. I am not doing it on purpose - It's like I just can't help it. MC indicated that my reaction is perfectly normal for this stage and that my reservations actually have to do with trust right now. It is at least a relief to know that what I am experiencing is 'normal.' We are working on some exercised that MC told us will help rebuild trust and that eventually I will not feel the need to hold so much back.

We have also done some things to 'resolve' issues of the A with our MC. It seems wierd, but I am actually getting tired of dealing with the affair. We have hashed and rehashed every detail that I have questioned and I have become tired of it. MC indicated that is part of the process of closure. So, hopefully we are closer to having that chapter behind us and we can have a more productive and fruitful recovery.

WH brought me a beautiful arrangement of roses this morning and a very sweet card. He has done many things over the past several weeks that are very out of the ordinary for him - meeting me for lunch during the week, extra chores around the house - just little things that he has not done in sooooooo long. He is affectionate and tells me that he loves me every day. This year, he got a separate card for me for VD (he used to just sign his name to the one from the kids) and he signed it 'Love, XXXXX.' He used to just sign his name, and it bothered me so bad.

Just a reminder that it's the little things that matter most.

So, that is where I am. I don't feel like is it much of an update - probably because I am still so reserved on the outside. On the inside, though, I believe I am very optimistic about recovery. I am just ready for the day when the outside doesn't have to protect the inside anymore, you know?

BTW - thanks for checking on me!

All this talk about VD cards....... I finally found one for WH that I thought was perfect for me to give him this year. It said, "Every time I follow my heart, it leads me back to you. Happy Valentine's Day"

Cool, huh?

Good for H! A lot of us here might feel like he could never do enough - let's just say it's a good start!

I know you said you are tired of rehashing the A so if you want to ignore my Q, that's fine.

Just wondering how things are going at H's work with OW being there? Hope she's backing off. Might he find a job at another school?

Anyway, your lack of trust seems perfectly normal considering your situation.

Hoping for better days ahead!

Em

They are both still at the same school for now. We're hoping to be able to change that at the end of the school year. But, we talk about this issue lots and lots. He remains steadfast that their relationship had been on a downward spiral for quite some time and that they had both realized that it had to end. She was not happy and was tired of being lonely. He was not happy. He tells me that by the time he ended the A, it had really been over already.

They do not teach in the same building and he insists that he does not see her around often. He also insists that he has changed his habits during the day to ensure that he does not have contact with her.

I want to believe him. His actions seem to indicate that he is telling the truth. But, that darn trust issue is still nagging........ it will take time before I totally believe it. Until them, I am 'allowed' to question him about anything and everything that I want to know without recourse. He has been very good about answering me over and over without getting mad or making me feel like I am pestering him.

I'm glad you checked in I've been thinking of you too.

Maybe he is starting to get it...You're in my prayers.

Did you ever tell him about the GPS?

Em

No - didn't tell him about the GPS. He never asked how I knew about the A, so it never came up. It is really a non-issue at this point.

Are you around?

Pep

still wondering what happened....