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Post deleted by Thankful4myKids
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Joined: Apr 2000
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the grass is not greener, and he doesn't know how to make whatever final decision he needs to make. . . if he comes back, he thinks/feels he is weak, and if he divorces, then he takes all the ugly responsibility, that he doesn't want to take. .
so he is stuck . . .
and doesn't know what to do. . .
so next time he says that, you respond with:
"That's fine, i don't want to married to an a##whole, i want to be marreid to a man who can be a leader, who can make a decision and stick to it. . . "
and then hang up. . . its sort of like you need to tell him how he needs to act, because he doesn't know. . . and most likely he doesn't know because he grew up without learning to take responsibility seriously. . .
just my opinion. ..
wiftty
Learning from your own mistakes creates experience, learning from books creates knowledge, combining the two together creates wisdom => You start with a full bag of luck, and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 782
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Sounds like he misses what he had - but, like "when" said - he doesn't know what, how or if he can or wants to change it back to what it use to be with you and the kids.
He probably was lonely and he was use to having you listen to him about his day in the past and just wanted that "comfort" again. Like a warm bowl of soup on a cold day - it does a body good..
As for calling himself an A-hole and you saying he isn't one - your filling a need of his. Depending on what YOU want from him, I would or wouldn't dispute his statement. Sometimes, no comment is the best comment...
HUGS
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Joined: Feb 2003
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wiffty:
"That's fine, i don't want to married to an a##whole, i want to be marreid to a man who can be a leader, who can make a decision and stick to it. . . " Do you want him back? Are you working plan A or B? Doesnt sound like you are anywhere near being divorced, why not start a thread on the GQII forum and work on saving the marriage, if thats what you want. Just wondering - Dru
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Joined: Feb 2006
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It's a tired old game. My dad is the same way...... feel sorry for me because I'm an [censored] ........... he turns 73 next July. This is usually indicative of very emotionally retarded people. My dad is the epitomy of a child in a mans body.
You sound like you are handling things well and are displaying a great deal of independence in spite of the situation ......... that probably unnerves him 'cause he is used to "owning you". He is not needed now but subconciously desires to "take" something from you ......... the only thing available over the phone is sympathy.
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Joined: Aug 2000
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He is trying to re-engage you...to "hoover" you back into his domain. He can only pull you if you grab onto the rope. Let go of the rope.
Him: "Sorry I am an @$$hole."
You: "Me too."
Him: "Sorry to bother you, I'll just let you go"
You: "Okay, bye"
Him: (calling)
You: (letting it go to the answering machine)
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Joined: Aug 2005
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This sounds just like my husband. We are at the end of our divorce proceedings and he calls all the time. What are you doing? - questions and all. He acts like we should be friends and I should tell him all about my day/life.
Also another thing I cannot figure out is he keeps asking me for "intimate things" all the time, so he is interested in my sexually, but does not want a relationship with me and a family with me.
Still trying to figure my husband out, but he will not stop talking to his "friend" so as far as I am concerned there is nothing to work on.
I agree is this just control or is there an underlying feeling of care? Any idea?
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