Well? Is it gonna happen or not?

My pal Orchid has sent us "goodie bags" and a warm Aloha from Hawaii just for us!

We can do maybe a brunch? Or go to the GA aquarium (need to reserve our spaces about 3 days ahead for a group)...or go to Circus which is this weekend at phillips arena...or SOMETHING?

I just want to say hi to everybody. Life's good and busy. I don't have too much time to post as much anymore. But I try.

I really need to move onto more the dating/divorced thread but want to be here to help when needed.

Hope all had a good Valentine's day, I am going to pick up my ds at school. In short bit. And will also drop off for the other children (ow's kids as my son HAS to be around them so I might as well be kind and show my faith...plus I just love all kids..it's what the parents do I dislike btw) their small stuff (candy, card signed by ds, and stickers)at xh's townhome.

We're doing fine <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> And I am still searching btw. For answers WHY any of this crap ever happened. I will never know. Never understand it. His affair marriage is STILL crumbling. And I am doing well with my boundaries FIRMLY in place with regards to any continued contact. I do wonderfully btw, with helping ds cope with all this...and we are always finding ways to make things better. I always tell ds to be nice to his half sister and to ow/w's other son. I tell him to get along and be helpful as I know she's being cheated on and is a battered spouse.

But being healthy for me means two things:
1)only contact with xh for specific parenting issues and
2)residual financial issues.

As for me personally? Well...have dated a few. Doing ok. Happy JUST BEING ME...FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE! IT'S GRAND <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> My job is VERY SECURE...and hectic. Got a RAISE! yea baby! But not gonna tell xh that...no sir. Not ever. He might "forget" to give me some of the $$$ he owes me if he "perceives from afar" that I am doing very well. So I just stay pretty much dark all the time.

The issues regarding my xh freaking about my son's sleep habits/residual control issues? GONE. I nipped it in the bud. Got firm. Got tough. And set MORE STIFF BOUNDARIES. Keep the aliens back using the "anti alien fence" basically...which is good boundaries and staying on your toes. It was either getting more tough w/boundaries or else I was gonna invest in a cattle prod/alien tazer! lmao.

lost six pounds. Feel good. Going to make a point each day to feel better.

Stay positive. So many here think that if the A leads to divorce, it's over. Not so! Your WS may come out of fog yet still. Mine didn't and that's ok. He does peer out now and then, but he made such a horrid mess of his life that I can never return. Too many deal breakers for me now.

If you have a WS, stay TOUGH. That means doing a loving plan A but THINK THE WHOLE TIME. Don't let the Aliens rule you...you gotta make the good choices in your family home b/c THE OTHER SPOUSE ISN'T MAKING ANY RATIONAL DECISIONS AT ALL...up to you I fear.

And if you're in midst of plan B. Stay TOUGH TOO! I do be lieve for many WS it takes the crush of reality plan B has to offer to make them see life differently and want to change.

My xh's reality check came a year after marrying OW. And suddenly being a dad to their OC. HE COULDN'T HIDE HIS AFFAIR ANYMORE after the oc was born. So many business associates knew of it...and the ow tossed herself into their faces so brazenly...and he crumbled down. He has stumbled into affair after affair and I know the man is not happy. But he hurt the one person he never wanted to...it was ME and OUR SON> Sadly, he finds always ways to lash out at me even from afar. It's because of his utter sadness. Last month, 2 years after marrying OW, she freaks out at my home, after being forced to drive by MY home by my xh to "see if my lights were on in my home"...she said to me in MY own driveway, "Peach I don't get it...WHY DOES HE STILL WANT TO CONTROL YOU? IT MAKES ME SO MAD!" I said to her that it was because "NEWS FLASH OW...MY H NEVER WANTED THE DIVORCE REALLY...YOU HELPED HIM AND YOU TWO MADE decisions that led to MY NEVER TAKING HIM BACK...and you "won" him. Aren't YOU HAPPY NOW? AREN'T BOTH OF YOU DELERIOUSLY HAPPY?" She was crying. I told her to stay away from my home. That she is SERIOUSLY UNWELL if she is having to drive by her HUSBAND'S XWIFE'S house to do recon for HER OWN HUSBAND...and that she and he are inches away from MY going to attorney again for umpeenth time and for MY pressing for a SECOND RESTRAINING ORDER...this time against not only him but her too.

This is what happens when an affair leads to marriage.

It's classic.

And now forever, my xh will implode on everybody else because he has NO WAY TO RIGHT the wrongs he did...and he hates himself so much he turns it outward. I pray for him everyday. I pray that some time in the future, he does break down. And that he asks for forgiveness...something he never has done. I will forgive him. But nothing will change.

Life is good. IT IS PEACEFUL...when I have little to no dealings with him.

Life is nice. It's not easy when you're a single mom. Money is tighter, but getting better.

You'll make it EITHER WAY!

You gotta stay strong. Stay very strong yet be as flexible as a reed.

When I remembered filing for divorce, I had printed off a teeny Bible Verse and carried it in my purse to the courthouse.

Here it is: Therefore put on the full armor of God so that when the DAY OF EVIL COMES you will be able to STAND YOUR GROUND....and AFTER HAVING DONE EVERYTHING, TO STAND!

That was and is my verse. I keep it on. My ds depends on my being loving and tough. My day of evil came...and I stood. And after having many trials and tribulations for the last 2 years since the divorce (money issues, xh destroying my credit, losing a job, almost being evicted)I STOOD...not easy but I am proudly STILL STANDING.

And you will to.

I pray your family recovers...MB will help you! And let's get that ATLANTA GET TOGETHER GOING!