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Joined: Dec 2005
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Okay yesterday I got this poem from my wh


IN THE MORNING I AWAKE,UNDER THE MOON I FALL ASLEEP. I SMILE UNDER THE SUNSHINE,AT NIGHT IS WHEN I WEEP. YOUR KISS IS MY GOOD MORNING, YOUR TOUCH IS MY MIDDAY. AT SUNDOWN YOU ARE IN THE DISTANCE,AT MIDNITE YOU WALK AWAY.IN MY DREAMS YOU RE TO THE EAST ,IN REALITY I LOOK WEST. I BREAK AND MEND WHEN THE SEASONS CHANGE, WHILE WISHING FOR THE BEST. I HANG OFF YOUR YOUR EVERY WORD, YOUR IGNORANCE IS BLISS. AND ONLY BECAUSE I LOVE YOU,IS WHY I LIVE LIKE THIS !

Today I recieved a dozen white roses....

Is this the Fog..

Someone please give me some answers as to what is going on with him Should I Thank him for the flowers ?

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What plan are you in Angela? If you are in plan A then yes absolutely thank him.


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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I'm not on any plan I am in the process of a divorce

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Somebody please talk to me

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Do you want to be divorced?? If not, let's get you a plan.


Me-41 BS (FWS)
DH-41 WS (FBS)
2DD's- 10 and 12
Married 15 years
Separated for 2 years after my A
Reconciled for 1 year before his A
D-day for his A 8/23/05
WH moved out 9/16/05
Divorce final 1/23/07
Affair ended or month or so later
My Story
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Angela - Please refresh my memory of the whole story. I tried reading old posts, but they are short and I never did figure out what is happening.

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I found out that Husband was having an Ea I'm not real sure and haveno proof of any physical contact between him and her. I was willing to forgive and move foward with our marriage if he would go to Mc etc he refused told me that he was tired of this marriage and me and that he wanted out 2wks later He left. I have since then filed for a divorce he signed all paperwork and I am waiting the 60 days...
I at one time thought that I wanted to reconcile this marriage.. But since he has been gone I have managed to find me... To laugh to enjoy life .. I guess it was like an elephant had been tossed off of my shoulders.. I beleive that he was too controlling and verbally abusive .. and I know that sometimes we hold on to what God is trying make us let go of... I feel like a gave him what he wanted which was his freedom and in turn i got what I needed... but what is he trying to do is this a game ... He willingly signed all paperwork etc.

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Well then, what do you have to lose by thanking him?


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me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Hi Angela,

If you dont want him, ignore it all and give the flowers to an old folks home or a hospital. Make someone elses day brighter.

I wouldnt even try to decipher if you are not interested in reconcilliation. Dont waste your brain time on him. Seems kinda flakey, to me.

If you wanted him, I'd handle it differently. But dont let him throw you off if you have already made up your mind. Good luck to you - Dru

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Quote
N THE MORNING I AWAKE,UNDER THE MOON I FALL ASLEEP. I SMILE UNDER THE SUNSHINE,AT NIGHT IS WHEN I WEEP. YOUR KISS IS MY GOOD MORNING, YOUR TOUCH IS MY MIDDAY. AT SUNDOWN YOU ARE IN THE DISTANCE,AT MIDNITE YOU WALK AWAY.IN MY DREAMS YOU RE TO THE EAST ,IN REALITY I LOOK WEST. I BREAK AND MEND WHEN THE SEASONS CHANGE, WHILE WISHING FOR THE BEST. I HANG OFF YOUR YOUR EVERY WORD, YOUR IGNORANCE IS BLISS. AND ONLY BECAUSE I LOVE YOU,IS WHY I LIVE LIKE THIS!

Angela, Your soon to be ex husband is most likely in the midst of a full blown romantic, physical, love affair. That is why he told you the things he did, that the marriage was over, etc. People usually never leave a marriage (without abuse) unless they have another person lined up.

I don't think he is playing a game. This is just the aftermath of an affair. Your WH is very confused right now. The problem with romantic love affairs are that they are fantasy, not reality. They have jumped ship from one long term relationship into another. This is not a healthy way to start a relationship. Since he did not end yours properly, such as trying to fix whatever he was not happy about, neither one of you have closure. You still have deep feelings for one another. Yesterday was V's day and today he is panicky and sending you flowers and a love letter, an incoherent one at that. He is throwing you an olive branch.

Your marriage could most likely be saved if you would want to. Read everything you can here, get and read Surviving an Affair and His Needs, Her Needs.

Start a Plan A, no angry outbursts or disrespectful judgements, and try to show him that you can be there for him. Try to figure out what was lacking in your marriage and ask yourself if you'd to change these things. If you want to try to save your marriage, put the divorce on hold.

Let us know what's going on and how you feel about all of this. Good luck.
S.


Me/BS 48
Married 16 yrs/together 23; 1 child
Dday 4/05; WH "needed space" and left 5/05
WH Filed D papers 6/05 - Divorce final 12/05
WH moved in with OW 11/05; moved out OW 1/06
12/06 His 3rd and strongest attempt at reconcilliation (I believe OW still in picture)
2/07 Affair over, begging me to take him back - it's too late.
WH has tried numerous times to reconcile.
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How long have you been married? Any children?

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Married for 5 years no kids together

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Thanks guys You are all right .. I have made up my mind and I shouldn't let these thing trouble me..He called tonite and asked me if i got the flowers he then asked what was I getting him for valentines day... i repllied nothing and He said 80.00 worth of flowers at least deserves a night in bed...He is Still being trashy and cruel in my opinion!!!

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Ouch.

Sounds like he just wanted a booty call. What an @ss.

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$80 for a whole night??

unless he's just interested in sleeping....I'd make sure he knew that I was worth MUCH more <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

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He said 80.00 worth of flowers at least deserves a night in bed...He is Still being trashy and cruel in my opinion!!!

RUN, ANGELA, RUN! RUN FAST, RUN HARD, and DONT LOOK BACK!

Unreal. Just unreal. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

I am sorry. You deserve better. Please take care - Dru


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