I know there is probably no good that can come of this but boy would I like to contact the OW. I do not want to bring myself to her level and the A has been over for 3.5 years. H says I will not win in a confrontation with her b/c she will just say "I had your H" and it will hurt me more than I could ever hurt her.

I am not normally a vengeful person and I do realize if I was rational I would focus my energy on my M. It seems like such a good idea at times. What about contacting her H they have divorced since because of her other A? How about the other guys wife? Four years is a long time its all water under the bridge for those folk and I am just trying to catch up. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />I cant even believe I was unknowingly involved in this seedy disgusting mess. I am sure I wont do it but boy does it feel good to imagine it.

I would continue to imagine it and find another way to release your hostilities. Your H is right, no good will come out of it. I totally understand where you're coming from. OW walked right in front of me about a month ago. Obviously she did not recognize me but my whole body just came to attention and said IT'S HER! I had only seen a picture of her. She walked by and I didn't say a word. This week I think I would attack her if she walked by me. Well, not really but I want to. Really bad. But I know it would only drag me down to her level - the gutter. I am much better than that and her! Plus I refuse to give her the power. I try hard to keep her a nothing. She is just some ho my XH happens to be screwing. Sorry, I'm a little angry and jaded this week. And running low on estrogen. Who knows, maybe I would kick her big fat a** if I saw her! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Yeah, that's just flirting with disaster.

I understand the concept.......voodoo doll maybe?? LOL

God Bless,

-Caren

Shattered-

We must have cross posted......but LOL!!!! Your post made me laugh! I completely understand! I have imagined putting the OW through the plate glass window of her store more times than I can count!

What can I say, I'm a vigilante justice kinda girl LOL!!!!!

God Bless,

-Caren

I am sure I wont do it but boy does it feel good to imagine it.

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to get sick.

If you are Christian, (or even if you are not) I'd recommend reading and meditating on the Story of Joseph. (click link if you don't have a Bible)

I mean, here is a dude who knows about betrayal. I read this about 2 months or so after losing my wife, my home and my job to the OP. And yes, I had a few hard feelings. Anyway, a few days after reading this, a strange peace came over me. It was like a heavy burden was lifted. To this day when I think of OP, the feelings that come to mind are compassion, caring, understanding, forgiveness... I'm even grateful on some levels, believe it or not, because 2 years into this and I'm such a 'better' person. Emotionally stronger, spritually stronger... so many good things have come about because of that horrible betrayal.

Ach... maybe I'm just a freak. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Anyway, read the story. It might help.

John

I am just not quite that healthy about this yet to not resent her. I dont even know what I would want her to know. That she didnt kill me or us for that matter. That I am a better person than her. That I am happier. She doesnt even know I know. She knows nothing about who I am or what this is doing to me. I just want to take it out on someone and I still love my H so she is the logical choice. I would just like her to be miserable...

Thanks John --will read!!